Only Human
by Amethyst Jackson
Summary: Complete. A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward. This story is baby-free.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Only Human (1/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

Edward pulled up the long drive, more slowly than he usually would have done. That alone alerted me that something was awaiting us at the house, but even if he'd sped through the trees as normal, I don't think the large banner across the house would have surprised me.

_Happy Birthday, Bella!_

Edward and I had been married exactly a month ago, in the Cullens' massive yard. Since, he'd taken me on the most ridiculously extravagant honeymoon possible, traveling from London to Istanbul and everywhere in between. He wanted me to see the world; I was happy to be with him.

Truly, it had been bliss. Edward had given me the one human experience I'd wanted more than anything – and he'd given it to me every day since, sometimes several times a day. A flood of heat spread through me at the memory of what we'd done just before we left from Paris...

"_I can't believe it's been a month already," I sighed, trying to force a suitcase closed. Edward tugged my hand away and zipped it with ease._

"_We can come back as many times as you like," he promised, pulling me into the circle of his arms. "Europe isn't going anywhere."_

"_It's not exactly Europe I'll miss," I said, burrowing closer. "But I'll miss us, like this, the way we are now…I don't want that to change."_

"_It won't change," he said, "If you think I'll ever be able to keep my hands off you, you're mad." As if to emphasize his point, his hands slid lower, cupping my bottom. His hardened length pressed into my hips and I groaned his name._

"_Even when I'm not human?" I questioned breathlessly as he guided me back to the bed. He pushed the suitcase aside and I was suddenly in its place._

"_Even then." His lips brushed my collarbone, exposed in the tank top I wore. "Especially then." His hands caressed my skin. "You can't imagine the things I want to do to you."_

_I laughed shakily while I fumbled at the hem of his polo. "I'm not that innocent. I think I can imagine a few."_

_The shirt landed audibly on the floor. His strong fingers easily rent my top in two._

"_Must you keep doing that?" I asked, my voice comically weak as his lips closed around my nipple._

"_You don't really mind," he murmured, and I was too busy touching him to argue. The ripples of muscle under his skin distracted me completely, and he took advantage of it, deftly undoing my jeans and tugging them off, my underwear going with them. Just three weeks ago I was still embarrassed to be this exposed in this face of all his perfection. Now I was finally getting used to it – being exposed, that is. I would never be immune to his beauty._

_His hands were everywhere at once – my breasts, my hips, my thighs. I struggled to breathe with each slow, cool caress. He made my skin tingle. I fought to find enough presence of mind to move my hands to his waist where his jeans rode low on his hips. I traced the smooth lines of his exposed pelvic bone, excited at the prospect of where that line led. His response was a low purr in my ear that only served to make me want him more._

_His lips grazed my neck and then reached my mouth. The taste of him under my tongue was enough to keep me from noticing when he shed his pants. I only noticed when I felt his naked hardness pressing against me. I gasped at the shock._

"_Sorry," he murmured, backing away a fraction of an inch._

"_Don't be," was my reply as I pressed my body into his once more. "I liked it."_

_He moaned quietly, holding me to him, allowing the head of his erection to brush tantalizingly against my center._

"_Edward," I sighed, wrapping my legs around his waist, "_Please_…"_

_Usually, at this point, he would tease me for my impatience. This time – for once – he seemed as impatient as I was. He slid into me with one smooth stroke. This was my favorite moment when we made love, the moment of ultimate completion and that first burst of pleasure. I clung to his body, so solid and cold in such a strangely arousing way, as he stroked in an out. He moved in a maddeningly steady rhythm, perfectly controlled and perfectly calculated to drive me out of my senses. It was more than I could stand, the fire that consumed me from within as he gradually increased his tempo, until I was crying out and digging my fingers into his back. My muscles clenched forcefully around him, the better to feel every inch of him, and I was lost. His guttural groan in my ear was all I heard as I fell over the edge._

"_Jesus, Bella," he breathed, barely holding his weight off me. "You're too much."_

"_So are you," I said as I struggled to catch my breath._

_He nuzzled my throat and his cool skin felt wonderful against mine, overheated as I was._

"_Damn," I muttered, remembering my torn shirt. "Now I have to unpack something."_

_He just laughed._

The more innocent parts of our honeymoon had been wonderful, too, seeing all the sights I'd only read about, with Edward by my side, explaining the history as he knew it from Carlisle's stories and his own experience. We'd held hands in Paris and cuddled in a gondola in Venice, and I'd eaten too many kinds of food to count while Edward looked on with distaste and amusement, and we'd bought too many souvenirs and more luggage to hold them all.

I could admit it now – I was glad for the experiences he'd given me, glad I hadn't rushed into the change, and glad most of all that he'd been by my side.

When we got out of the car, I found I didn't want to fight the party I knew I'd find inside. I didn't mind that I was nineteen years old today. Somewhere along the line, the numbers had ceased to matter as much, as long as Edward was happy and I would have an eternity with him.

"You don't mind?" he affirmed, his hand caressing my lower back as we paused at the door.

"No," I smiled. "I think it's a good time to start celebrating."

He smiled back and kissed me quickly before ushering me inside.

The entire family, even Rosalie, waited in the living room to greet us. I heard several exclamations of "welcome home" and "happy birthday" as Alice rushed to hug me.

"How was the honeymoon?" she asked gleefully. "Did you bring me presents?"

I laughed. "The honeymoon was wonderful, and yes, we did bring presents – but shouldn't I be asking that question?"

Emmett's laughed boomed beside me, closer than I expected. "What, all that time with Edward wasn't present enough?"

The wiggle of Emmett's eyebrows told me exactly what he was suggesting, and I blushed; Edward growled slightly beside me.

"Leave her alone, Emmett," he said, crossing his arms over his chest in a menacing stance.

Emmett laughed, unfazed. "I see finally getting laid hasn't loosened you up any. You need to keep working on him, Bella."

"Emmett! Don't embarrass her!" Esme chastised as I blushed furiously. Alice laughed and dragged me into the dining room, the others following behind us. I heard occasional thumps that suggested Emmett and Edward were still feuding behind me.

The dining room was decorated with relatively non-dangerous balloons and flowers, and I felt fairly confident that there would be no repeat of my last birthday party, or the consequences that followed. Edward and I were together for good now, and if Jasper happened to take a bite out of me…well, that would only hasten the inevitable.

Alice directed me into a chair at the head of the table. The others remained standing around the table, and I started to feel rather like the main course at a banquet. All that was missing was a silver platter and an apple stuffed in my mouth. Edward came up behind me, resting his hand on the back of my neck, and I relaxed instantly.

"Time for presents!" Alice cried gleefully, and she darted into the kitchen only to return a split-second later with a pile of packages. Some of them were absurdly large.

"Oh, really, now. What more could I possibly need?" I groaned in dismay as the pile landed in front of me. The wedding gifts had been bad enough. Obviously, we'd had no need for the appliances and furniture and kitchenware that generally appeared as wedding gifts, but that hadn't stopped Alice from registering us at several stores, much to my embarrassment.

"Don't be silly, Bella, it's your birthday," Alice argued. "It's not about what you _need_; it's about what you _want_."

"Although some of it _is_ actually what you'll need when we unpack all your stuff," Emmett added before I could protest.

As it turned out, Emmett was right. Two of the gifts were shelves for my endless books and a wardrobe – a very lovely antique wardrobe, to be precise – that I would need for my clothes, given that Edward's closet was nearly full already with nearly a century's worth of clothing. Vampires, as it turned out, were horrible packrats. I would have to introduce the concept of cleaning things out once in a while to this household, clearly.

Carlisle and Esme gave us a simpler gift, a framed copy of our wedding photo. Looking upon it, I thought that I finally looked like I belonged by his side. That's not to say that I didn't still look ridiculously plain next to his godlike beauty, but it was as though his happiness radiated onto me. As though Edward loving me could make me beautiful.

Edward's lips touched behind my ear as if he had read my thoughts. "The camera doesn't do you justice," he murmured.

"Do you think so?" I said absently.

"The most beautiful thing I've ever seen is you on our wedding day," he said as he turned his head to kiss my temple. I melted. He deserved so much more than I could give, and yet he had given me so much… At least I had been able to give him a wedding. I was glad now that I hadn't pressed for an elopement when I could hear the joy in his voice at the memory.

"Enough of that, you two," Alice cut in. "It's time for the main event."

The lights abruptly went out, and I tensed. That didn't bode well, knowing Alice. But she merely appeared through the door from the kitchen, carrying a small cake, alight with candles. "19 Forever," the icing read. I had to laugh.

Alice set it neatly before me, far enough away that I was unlikely to singe anything.

"Make a wish," she demanded. I thought about that. I had everything I had ever wanted. If only I could make Edward so happy…

_I wish I could give Edward all the human experiences he's given me._

I took a deep breath, blew out the candles, and then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Only Human (2/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** This chapter's kind of boring, but I had to get the details out of the way. The next one will have more E/B interaction.

* * *

Something…was very wrong.

One moment, I was blowing out my birthday candles. The next, I opened my eyes to a completely different world.

I was on a busy street…_somewhere_. I couldn't identify the place. But what were even more bizarre were the people. All the women wore long, ankle-length dresses with long sleeves, and the men all wore slacks and button down shirts, some with jackets, some with suspenders…it looked like…like the early 1900s. The buildings, too, looked like relics from the past – brick buildings, none larger than four stories or so…down the street were Victorian style houses. But this couldn't be the past…could it?

"Excuse me, miss," a voice said, an achingly familiar voice, but I couldn't place it. I turned to look for the face that accompanied the voice, and stopped in my tracks.

I could barely stifle my gasp. It was _Edward_, but Edward as I had never seen him before. I looked him over from top to bottom. His hair was the same…his face was not. Flushed from the wind that swept around us, his skin was darker than I'd ever seen it, and his face was rounder, younger looking, _soft_, and his _eyes_. They danced in the light, a disconcerting green. Maybe his dazzling had nothing to do with his vampire abilities after all…

And then I understood. This Edward _wasn't_ a vampire. He was human. And this…this _was_ the past. Edward's past.

"Miss? Are you all right?"

His voice snapped me out of my daze. He looked uncomfortable, and I realized I had been staring. I thought quickly. If I _had_ somehow gone back in time, then I would need some help taking care of myself here. I had no place to stay, no clothes, no money, no food – a very precarious situation. And if anyone were to help me, it might as well be Edward – why would I be in this time and place if not to see him, anyway?

"Actually," I said carefully, "I'm a bit lost."

"Where are you going? Perhaps I can help you find your way."

"Um…maybe 'lost' wasn't the right word. I don't have any place to go."

I saw the traces of a smile at the corners of his mouth. "You don't live in Chicago?"

"No," I replied, deciding to stay as close to the truth as possible, so I would be less likely to confuse myself. "I'm from Washington."

He frowned in that disapproving way of his. "And you're here unattended? You've no one to take care of you?"

I started to bristle at the assumption that I would need someone to take care of me, but it occurred to me that that was _exactly_ what I needed at the moment. Arguing wouldn't help my case.

"I didn't exactly intend to come here," I said, avoiding the details that would surely land me in an asylum. "But I have nowhere else to go, either."

"Edward?" A female voice called from across the street. I looked up to see a beautiful woman with Edward's hair and eyes coming toward us, glancing between Edward and I in confusion, no doubt perplexed by my clothing and my loose hair. "Is there a problem?"

"I was just asking this young lady if she needed assistance," Edward answered. "It seems she has nowhere to go."

"And have you introduced yourself?" his mother asked, wearing the same smirk that I had seen so many times on Edward's face.

Edward blushed – color actually flooded his face, as easily as it did mine. I fought to hide my surprise. How would I ever cope with seeing this human Edward?

"I hadn't gotten to that part yet," he muttered before he turned to me. "Forgive me. My name is Edward Masen and this is my mother."

"How do you do," I said formally with a polite nod of my head. "I'm Bella Swan."

"Bella, you say?" Mrs. Masen said. "Is that your full name?"

"Um, no," I replied. "It's short for Isabella."

"Well, it's a very pretty name indeed. Would you like to accompany us home for tea? Perhaps we can be of some assistance to you."

"Thank you," I sighed, a little overwhelmed with relief. "You're very kind."

"Well, we all need a bit of kindness now and then, do we not?" she said with a gentle smile, taking Edward's arm. "It's simply the right thing to do."

I tentatively took Edward's other arm, which he offered to me, and smiled back. "Still, you are a great deal more kind than most." I doubted many people would be willing to humor an oddly dressed, virtually homeless girl in the middle of Chicago, no matter what the decade.

Edward and his mother led me down several city blocks and around a corner, only to go three more blocks after that. The walk was very quiet, and I felt awkward, but I used the time to think about what I would say to them. I had already said I was from Washington. I needed to give them a reason why I was here now and why I didn't have a home to go to. Perhaps I could say I was an orphan, since it was true that I had no parents – they didn't yet exist in this time. The story fell easily into place from there. I had been orphaned three years ago. My parents came from small families and I had no living relatives that I knew of. Because of my age, I wasn't sent to the orphanage. I had found work with a widowed seamstress, who paid me with room and board, but she had passed away recently and I had come east, looking for new employment.

By the time we turned onto a small path to their house, I was feeling quite pleased with the history I had concocted for myself.

The Masens' home was beautiful, a construction of brick with white trim. Mrs. Masen went in ahead and Edward directed me to the parlor. I found myself sitting on a light green sofa while Edward took an armchair nearby. His eyes watched me carefully, curiously, and I had to look away from his gaze. It was disconcerting, to say the least, to see him this way, and incredibly awkward to know him and be equally aware that he knew nothing about me.

Mrs. Masen returned a moment later with a tray loaded with all things necessary for tea. "Your home is beautiful," I said as she poured me a cup.

"Thank you," she replied, filling the other two cups. "It was built just after the great fire."

I swallowed back my surprise. "How fascinating."

She asked me how I liked my tea, and after adding cream and sugar, she sat back to look at me, and her stare was as penetrating as her son's. "Why don't you tell us how you've come to be here, Miss Swan?"

I took a fortifying gulp of my tea and launched into my story. It was hard to keep eye contact with them, hard to deceive them, but what other choice did I have?

"I'm sorry to hear of your parents," Mrs. Masen said when I finished. "Forgive me, but may I inquire as to the manner of your dress? I don't think I've ever seen a girl in denim trousers before."

"Oh, well, it's easier to travel this way," I lied. "Fewer people bother you when you're dressed as a man. I, uh…I tailored these to fit better." I knew neither my shirt nor my jeans looked like a man's clothing.

Mrs. Masen nodded her understanding. "It must be difficult for a young lady to travel alone these days."

"Sometimes," I said vaguely. "I've managed well enough."

"Well," Mrs. Masen said, "We'll be happy to offer you a place to stay until you find new employment."

"Thank you," I said, infusing my voice with as much gratitude as possible. "I can't begin to repay you for your kindness."

"Nonsense," she replied with a wave of her hand. She looked at me contemplatively. "You have no belongings with you, so I suppose you have nothing suitable to wear during your stay."

"No, I don't, I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. I think I have something suitable for you. Come upstairs with me. Edward, will you see to the spare bedroom?"

"Of course," he answered. His voice shocked me once again.

I followed her up the main staircase into a room that I assumed was her bedroom. She went to a wardrobe and pulled out a long blue frock, which she held up to me.

"That will do nicely, don't you think? The color suits your complexion. You can try it on later. I'll try to find a few more things for you, to sleep in and such."

"Thank you," I said again, unable to find any other way to express myself. She merely smiled.

"Let's show you to your room, then. Come along."


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Only Human (3/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** Thanks for the AMAZING response to this so far. This is pretty much my favorite thing I've written to date, so I'm glad you're all enjoying it.

* * *

I found myself sitting alone in a spare bedroom in the Masen family's house. The bed was a lovely, luxurious thing, the tall wooden posts finely carved and stained, the comforter thick and warm. The wallpaper was elegant, the carpet a lovely sage. It was as nice as any place I had ever been.

And in spite of the pleasant surroundings, in spite of the long-sleeved dress that seemed to cover every inch of me, I felt cold all the way through.

How was this _possible_? How could I be making a wish on my birthday cake one moment, and the next be standing in the middle of Chicago, nearly a century in the past?

Making a wish…it couldn't be…could it? I had wished I could give Edward human experiences, hadn't I?

"I didn't mean that quite so literally," I mumbled to myself, burying my face in my hands. This was impossible. Sure, I'd seen a lot of impossible things since I'd met Edward, but _time-travel_? And from a wish on a birthday cake, no less!

The weirdness I could deal with, though. It was even sort of…cool, really. I had the chance to see Edward as a human, as the normal teenage boy he once was, but I had to wonder what the price was. Would I ever see _my_ Edward again? What if there was no way back to my own time and place? I tried to imagine living out my life here, growing old, dying…losing any chance of forever with Edward. The pain that stabbed my chest was unendurable, and the tears that had been pricking at my eyes ever since Mrs. Masen had left me alone finally spilled forth.

Was this even real? _Could_ it be real? Surely I had just fallen down and was hallucinating all of this as a result of a concussion. Maybe I was completely schizophrenic and had been imagining everything all along…although that thought was as bad as all this being real.

If I was truly in the past, what would be the ramifications on the future? If I changed things somehow, if this Edward never fell ill and became a vampire, then I would never meet him in the future and then therefore never come back in time, but then I wouldn't be around to change anything…

Trying to think about that made my head hurt, so I gave up. Clearly there was nothing in my power to do to change the situation, so I had no choice but to be pulled along with the current.

If only my vampire were here to protect me…

A soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts, and I instinctively knew it would be Edward. The hesitance and gentleness had not faded over the span of 80 years. I almost called for him to come in, but I wasn't sure how proper that was in this time – why had I never bothered to learn more about the world Edward grew up in? – and so I went to open the door myself.

He stood there, shoulders slightly hunched, flushed with life. His eyes were intent as they met mine.

"I came to check on you – have you been crying?" he asked as I hastily swiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Oh, yes, but it's nothing. I'm fine," I lied. He narrowed his eyes, and I knew he saw right through me.

"Can I do anything?" he asked, and I held back a sigh of relief that he didn't ask for explanation.

"Thank you, but no," I said, caught in his eyes. They were the same eyes that had always seemed to pierce right through me, and yet, they were so different…. "There's nothing that can be done."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Edward said, standing awkwardly in the doorframe. "Would it perhaps improve your mood to accompany me on an errand? My mother seems to have forgotten a crucial ingredient for tonight's meal."

It was impossible to refuse. "That sounds nice. Give me a moment."

"I'll wait downstairs," he said, leaving me to stare helplessly at my reflection in the mirror on the vanity. I had the right clothing on now, but none of the women here seemed to wear their hair down, and I had no way to put mine up. I sighed, frustrated, and reached up to fiddle with the loose strands, but a flash of light against my finger stopped me.

My wedding band, paired with the engagement ring that I hadn't wanted to stop wearing, sparkled on my ring finger. A flutter of panic hit me. That ring had belonged to Edward's mother – the woman who had just taken me in. Had she seen the ring? Had Edward? Surely they would think me a thief if they saw me wearing it. I hastily jerked both rings off my hand, feeling a pang of sadness at the loss. Edward had placed those rings on my fingers and bound himself to me for eternity. I hated to break that bond, even figuratively.

After that, the state of my hair didn't seem to matter so much. I left it down as I went to meet Edward in the sitting room.

He stood immediately and greeted me with a smile, a very familiar lopsided smile that made my heart flip. I forced my lips to smile back.

"Where are we headed?" I asked. He offered his arm and I took it hesitantly.

"The market, naturally," he said, leading me out the door and down the street in the direction we had come from this morning. "We're in need of celery, apparently."

"Celery," I repeated, struck abruptly by the fact that this Edward _ate_. I mentally smacked myself. Of course he ate – he was human. "Do you like celery?"

"Not particularly," he said, bemused. I could tell he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. Some things didn't change, evidently. "Do you?"

"No," I said, blushing at the ridiculousness of the conversation. _Good one, Bella._

"Have you a stance on broccoli, then? I find it terribly offensive." His tone was serious, but his eyes were bright, teasing.

"I'm indifferent," I said, trying to force down my blush, as if that had ever worked. "What _do_ you like to eat, then?"

Edward grinned. "Honestly, I'm a terrible sweet-tooth. I like anything sugary."

I laughed and wondered how that related to my Edward. He'd said I smelled floral…sweet. I wondered what mountain lion tasted like to him, and if so much had really changed. So far, it seemed to me that this Edward was in many ways the same, aside from diet and bodily functions. That scared me, perhaps more than it should…probably because I was already falling for this Edward. It felt wrong somehow, like cheating on _my_ Edward…and yet it was the same person…

"And what about you?" he asked as we passed the spot where he'd found me earlier.

I struggled to remember what we had been discussing. "Pasta," I said. "Any kind of pasta."

One of his eyebrows shot up. "Interesting."

"Why is that interesting?" We were reaching a more crowded area now, and people were staring openly at me. I knew my appearance must stand out…I wondered if any of them suspected….

"Honestly? My mother insisted upon changing the dinner menu for tonight once you arrived. She swore you'd want pasta. Sometimes I wonder about her…"

I blinked. She sounded like _Alice_. "Your mother is very perceptive."

Edward smiled. "Sometimes frighteningly so. She's always seemed to know exactly what's in my head, no matter how hard I try to hide it from her."

"Like what?" I asked, eager to keep him talking. He turned to look at me, his skin shining in the sun – but in the human way. His lips twisted up and I wondered how soft they would feel.

"She knew as soon as I started thinking about it that I wanted to fight in the War. She's been doing everything she can to try to keep me here ever since. But as soon as I'm 18, I'll likely be drafted, and then she'll have no choice."

I bit my lip, thinking about the irony that the war would be over before he turned 18 – and then that, if things went the way they were supposed to, he would be a vampire before he turned 18…

"Why do you want to fight?" I asked, choking back fear. Not fear for his safety – I knew he wouldn't go. But fear that I would lose him, without a way back to the future…

"When this war is over," he said seriously, stopping and forcing me to turn, "the men who fought will be the most honored men in the country. I don't want to stay behind and be thought a coward, or have anyone say that I didn't have what it took."

_This_ wasn't the Edward I knew. Or was it? Maybe this was just another aspect of what I had deemed to be his martyr complex. And I thought of what he had told me once, how he had filled his head with thoughts of soldiering…

_I was always that boy…I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then…but if I had found you, there isn't a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have — as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for — gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations._

"But what if you don't come back?" I found myself asking, missing my Edward more than ever. "Millions of men are dying over there. You'd rather die than be thought weak? Isn't there anything you really _want_ to do?"

He cocked his head curiously. "Do you always ask so many questions?"

I remembered a night a long time ago, driving through the darkness and asking questions just so the night wouldn't end. "Yes," I said, for once without a blush. "I'm curious."

He shrugged. "I've never really known what I want," he said. "But I want to do _something_ with my life."

"I think you will," I said, squeezing the arm that he offered to me once again.

"I hope you're right," he said with a smile. "Well, here we are."

I realized we were in a much more crowded area, and as I looked around, I saw what the "market" was. It was an enormous outdoor market with seemingly endless stalls selling vegetables, fruits, grain, and non-food products as well – a carpenter's stall selling various furnishings, an old woman selling knit items…

"Are all these people here every day?" I asked in awe, being pulled along by Edward as he wound through the stalls.

"Some of them," he said, pausing to inspect a stall which consisted of little more than several barrels of vegetables on a wagon. He shook his head to himself and continued on. "Others only come here occasionally, to drum up business. Most of the artisans have shops of their own."

"Oh." It was all so…old-fashioned. "There's nothing like this in Washington."

Edward laughed. "I'm sure you've missed out on a lot up there in the middle of nowhere."

Eventually we found the rather elusive celery and turned to browsing the less edible wares. I found myself drawn to a table covered in jewelry. Rows and rows of rings lay before me, but one caught my eye – topaz set unconventionally in silver. In my mind, that topaz became Edward's eyes the morning after our wedding, alight with happiness as he beamed down at me. The sun had come out that day, like an omen, and the light through the windows made his naked body shimmer as he held himself over me. My hands gripped the edge of the table before me and I closed my eyes, holding in my tears. More than anything, I wanted his strong, cool arms around me and his voice in my ear, saying it was all a dream…

Instead, a warm hand gently squeezed my shoulder, and I had to open my eyes to reality again.

"Bella? What's the matter?" he asked, glancing from my agonized expression to the table I still clutched for support. His eyes traveled over the rings and back to me. "You…left someone behind, didn't you? In Washington?"

I swallowed heavily. "S-sort of. It was out of my control. There's nothing I could do…"

"You were in love?" he asked softly, allowing me to look away.

"Yes," I sighed.

He squeezed my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I wish…I wish there was something I could do…"

"Thank you," I said, reaching up to place my hand over his. "Let's go home, shall we?"

"Of course," he agreed, taking my hand. The subject didn't come up again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Only Human (4/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** This time we're back to the Edward we know and love.

* * *

The candles went out, and suddenly Bella was no longer in her chair.

The panic came instantly. There was no way I simply didn't see her – darkness was no obstacle for my eyes. Only the ghost of her scent lingered in the air, and the silence pressed in abruptly without her heartbeat.

"What happened?" I croaked, looking around at the faces of my bewildered family. "Where is she?"

Alice shook her head. _"__I can't see her."_

My eyes darted around the room as if I would find her in a corner. "Bella?" I cried out, as if it would make her return. "Bella!"

"How could this happen?" Alice asked softly, turning to Carlisle. "No one could have taken her – we would smell them. And Bella obviously couldn't sneak away…"

I looked dumbly to Carlisle as well, praying for answers. How could my wife just…_disappear_?

"I don't know," he said helplessly. "The Volturi, perhaps…maybe they have a power we don't know of…"

I gaped. "The power to make someone disappear into thin air? No, it can't be the Volturi…"

"Then who else?" Rosalie said, but I shook my head, clinging to denial. If the Volturi had her…

"I'll make some calls," Carlisle said, heading for his study. "Don't panic."

"Don't panic, he says," I muttered to myself. "My wife disappeared into thin air and I'm not supposed to panic?"

Jasper placed a hand on my shoulder, gripping hard enough that I couldn't shake him off, and he sent a wave of calm through me. "You won't get her back in that state. You have to keep a clear head," he argued as I glared at him.

I turned to Alice to ask if she could see anything yet, but I stopped abruptly as a vision flashed before my eyes…

_She was impossible to miss. Her bright blouse and strange trousers stood out amongst the drab, conventional dresses of the other women on the street. What caught my attention, however, was the look on her face. I had never seen anyone look so lost, or so alive. The contradiction piqued my curiosity. I wanted to know her._

"_Excuse me, miss," I found myself saying, approaching. She looked up, full of surprise. Frozen with surprise, actually. She looked as if she'd seen a ghost._

"_Miss? Are you all right?"_

_She blinked as if coming out of a daze. "Actually, I'm a bit lost."_

"Edward? Edward, what's wrong?" Alice asked, waving her hand in front of my face to get my attention. I blinked.

"I think I just had a vision," I said, wondering _why_ the hell I would see that in my mind.

"Of the future?" Alice asked, full of skepticism.

"No," I shook my head. "Of the _past_. I saw…it was like a memory. Meeting Bella…in 1918. But she was wearing the same clothes she wore tonight…"

"Well, maybe that's where she is," Alice shrugged, suddenly calm.

"No," I said immediately, trying to get my mind around the idea. "She can't be in _1918_. How could she even get there?"

Alice shrugged again. "Beats me. But it would explain why I can't see her. Her entire future is in the past right now."

"It _can't_ be," I said again, less forcefully. "She can't be in the past."

"Where else _could_ she be, then? Given the circumstances, I think it's the only logical answer. Even if it defies the laws of physics."

Okay. I could handle this. Maybe it wasn't even remotely within the realm of reality, but I ought to be used to defying the laws of nature. I did it every day. But ever since Bella had come into my life, I'd felt more and more _human_, and now…now I wasn't equipped to deal with anything like this. Much as I tried to compose myself, the panic kept creeping back in.

"All right. So she's in the past. How do I get her back?" I asked, bordering on desperation, but the rest of the family looked back at me with pity, offering no answers. The panic flared.

I headed for the door. "I need to get some air," I muttered before walking out. We didn't really have a backyard – the trees encroached almost all the way to the house, and I walked among them without thought, hoping that when I left them again, I would find it had all been an illusion.

Why, why was this happening? What force could have sent Bella back in time, and for what purpose, and most of all, why _now_? It made no sense, and there were no answers to be had.

My feeling of helplessness turned into frustration, and I slammed my fist into the nearest tree. It made a neat hole through the center, but releasing my anger only left me feeling empty. I fell back against the trunk I'd just smashed, closing my eyes.

"_Why did you invite her to stay with us?" I asked my mother. I wasn't upset; I was glad, and I knew my mother could see that, though I tried to hide it. But I didn't understand. "She's a complete stranger."_

"_She's perfectly trustworthy. I think she can take good care of herself, actually, but there was something about her. Something that makes her unique, though I can't place my finger on it. And I saw the way you looked at her," she added smugly. "You've never paid as much attention to any young lady as you did today."_

"_That's ludicrous," I said, though my face burned. "Seems like quite a leap of faith to take in a stranger because you think your son has taken a fancy to her."_

"_Maybe," she said with an enigmatic smile, "But my instincts are never wrong."_

"_Never say never," I muttered, though I couldn't argue. Her instincts were more precise than any scientific instrument, and it looked like they had something in store for me_.

I opened my eyes, disoriented. That was the clearest memory I'd ever had of my mother, but somehow, it felt as though I'd always had that memory…even though I knew it was new to me.

Carlisle's mental voice called out to me from the house, forcing me back into the present.

"_Edward, it doesn't look like the Volturi had anything to do with this. I'm sorry, I don't have any answers for you. I've never heard of anything like this happening before_."

"I keep…seeing things, Carlisle," I replied, just loud enough for him to hear me in the house. "Like memories, except they're memories I've never had before. They're from my human life, and Bella is in them. Alice thinks…she thinks Bella has somehow gone back in time."

Carlisle's mind was completely silent for a long moment.

"_It makes as much sense as anything else_," he replied. _"I don't know what we can do, but I'll keep contacting old friends. Perhaps someone else will know more._"

"What if I never get her back?" I asked, choking on my fear. "What if - ?"

"_Thoughts like that won't help. Have faith, Edward. And keep focused on your memories. If she truly is in the past, you'll be able to keep track of her."_

He was right, I knew. I could only wait for her to return, if she could return at all, and watch her. I would watch her faithfully, then, until she came back to me…because she would. She _had_ to. We'd been through too many trials to be separated now.

I sat at the base of the tree I'd been leaning on and closed my eyes again, tracing through the memories. Meeting Bella, taking her home, talking to my mother…and then there were new memories. I took her to the market, and she seemed happy…but then she stopped in front of the rings and a look of agony crossed her face…

"_You…left someone behind, didn't you? In Washington?"_

_He__r throat flexed as she swallowed. I wanted to reach out and touch her pale neck, but I forced my hand to remain still. "S-sort of. It was out of my control. There's nothing I could do…"_

"You were in love?" I asked her, knowing the answer before she spoke; it was written all over her face. A strange feeling of despair swept through me. If her heart was taken…

"Yes," she sighed, looking up at me with her sad eyes. I wished I could comfort her…

I thought about the look on her face, knowing she'd been speaking of me as the one she left behind…I saw all of her fear and sadness. And I felt two sets of emotions – the memory of my past self longing to comfort her, and my present self wishing I could reach her…

And then there was the anxiety I couldn't straighten out. My human self was already in love with her, I knew that – I would love her in any time and under any circumstances – and my human self longed to be loved in return. And yet, I felt a strange dread that exactly that would occur…perhaps she wouldn't _want_ to come back to me. Perhaps after being with me as a human, she would no longer want what I now had to offer her…

_No,_ I told myself. _Bella feels the same way. It won't matter to her what I am_. But I couldn't erase the doubt.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and opened my eyes. I saw Alice and gave her a hopeful, questioning glance.

She shook her head. "_No, I still haven't seen anything. But I do have a theory."_

"I'm listening," I said, trying to hide my disappointment.

"_Bella disappeared the moment she blew out her birthday candles."_

"Yes, I know, I was there," I said, puzzled.

"_Yes, but I kept wondering why it would be that moment. And then it occurred to me that I told her to make a wish just before."_

"A wish?" I said skeptically. "You think she wished her way to 1918?"

Alice rolled her eyes at me. _"I doubt it was that specific, but there's a reason you're supposed to be careful what you wish for. Whatever she wished for must have taken her there. It's the only answer I can think of_._"_

"It's crazy," I said. "But so is everything else that's happened today. Even these new memories…they're coming faster than they could possibly be happening."

Alice shrugged. _"Nothing else about this makes sense, Edward. Why should that be any different?"_

I nodded, but sighed, and Alice sat down beside me, perhaps sensing my mood.

"I'm scared, Alice," I admitted. "This has the potential to end in disaster in so many ways, and I can't do a single thing."

Alice put her arm around me in a half-hug. _"You just have to trust that your past self will take good care of her."_

"I do," I said with a short laugh. "That's what scares me the most."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Only Human (5/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

After we returned from the market, I found myself sitting in the parlor with Edward and his mother, waiting for his father to arrive home from work. His mother was knitting what appeared to be a sock. I couldn't follow what she was doing; things that required hand-eye coordination weren't usually my forte. I tried to read a book I'd retrieved from the small library, but I couldn't concentrate on the text. My eyes and thoughts continually turned to Edward, who sat across from me, also reading. He seemed to have no trouble focusing.

I heard a rumble outside and looked up as the other two did.

"That will be your father," Mrs. Masen murmured, and I realized the sound was an engine. A very old-fashioned engine. My Edward would be horrified at the ruckus it made.

Elizabeth's eyes darted to me, and she offered a warm smile before turning her eyes back to the front entryway. Neither would say a word, but I knew Edward and his mother were nervous to introduce me to him. I wondered how he would take the appearance of a random stranger in his home. Edward had never told me much about him, other than that he was a lawyer; I don't think he remembered much.

The front door opened, and Edward and his mother both stood. I followed suit, unsure of myself. What was the proper etiquette for introductions in this decade? Why had I spent so much time reading about the Regency Era and passed over this crucial time period? I wanted to kick myself, but I would probably end up doing damage to the parlor furniture.

Footsteps reached the doorway, and I had my first glimpse of Edward's father. He had light brown hair and brown eyes, rather plain, actually, but his face was pleasant and gentle. He was young still, but wrinkles had started to form on his brow and around his mouth, and his hair grayed at the temples. A high widow's peak suggested he was balding as well. I could see that he would have been very handsome in his twenties, and I hoped his kind appearance matched his personality.

"Edward, darling," Elizabeth said, stepping forward to place a hand on my shoulder. "This is Bella Swan. She'll be staying with us for a while."

"Pleasure to meet you, Sir," I said conventionally, doing an awkward move between a nod and a curtsy. He nodded back politely and I watched his eyes flash to Edward, then back to me, and finally to his wife.

"Would you accompany me to the kitchen, darling?" Elizabeth said quickly, reaching for her husband's arm. "I want you to try the sauce. I'm not sure you'll like it…"

She had him out of the room before she finished her sentence, and I sat back down with relief. I didn't want to know what he would say about his wife taking in a girl off the street.

Edward smiled at me, still standing. "Don't worry. My mother decides everything in this household, and my father tends to go along with whatever she wants." His smile turned softer, fonder as he glanced to the doorway where his parents had left.

I smiled to myself, thinking how much Edward's parents reminded me of Alice and Jasper, or even Rosalie and Emmett. I wondered if that was the reason he felt content with only his family for so many decades…maybe he was living out the time he'd missed with his parents, parents that he could no longer remember.

"Do you want to talk about it, Bella?" Edward asked. I looked back to find his eyes trained intently on me, and it took me a moment to realize what he was talking about.

"Later," I said, hoping he would understand. He glanced toward the kitchen again and nodded.

"After dinner, then. We could go for a walk, if you like."

"Perfect," I said, relieved. That would buy me time to create my story. I obviously couldn't tell him the truth, or anything close to it. I could just picture his face. "Well, Edward, as it turns out, I left _you_ behind, 90 years in the future. We're madly in love and we just got married. Oh, and did I mention you're a vampire and you're going to make me one, too?" That would go over well enough to get me sent to the asylum, I was sure. Maybe Carlisle could spring me…

With that thought, two things clicked simultaneously in my mind. Carlisle was here, in this time and place – and he was already a vampire. If I could find him, I could tell him everything… He might consider me a lunatic at first, but I would know things about his past that a mere lunatic couldn't. He would have to believe me. And then, maybe, he could help me, somehow. It would be wonderful, at the very least, to talk to someone about this.

It would be hard to get to Carlisle, though. He would work nights, to avoid the sunlight, and who knows where he would be working…it would be hard to get out of the house at night without anyone knowing. But if I could, I might find a way back…

A bell interrupted my plans, and I realized Edward was still watching me carefully. I offered him what was likely an unconvincing smile.

"Dinner is ready," he said, again offering his arm to me.

"You have a dinner bell?" I said, hoping to make Edward forget whatever he was speculating about. I knew the look he'd had, and it usually meant he was on to me.

He smiled, but I had a feeling my attempt had failed. "We're usually scattered all around the house at mealtimes. It's the easiest way to get us all to the table."

"Oh," I said lamely, letting him lead me into the dining room. His parents were already seated, and Edward pulled out a chair along one side of the rectangular table for me. His parents sat at either end, and Edward seated himself across from me.

"I hope you don't mind, Bella, but we don't do things very formally around here," Edward's mother said, passing me a plate of what appeared to be chicken.

"Not at all," I said, serving myself as everyone else helped themselves to another dish. It was a great relief, actually. "I'm not used to a formal atmosphere as it is. I would most likely make a complete fool of myself."

I realized I was being overly honest, as usual, and shut my mouth, but everyone laughed.

"All the better, then," Edward's father said, handing me a heaping plate of noodles. "I tend to make a fool of myself as well."

I couldn't help returning his friendly smile, and I caught Edward watching with interest. I wished, not for the first time, that I had my Edward's mind-reading powers. Especially to use against him.

"So, Bella," his father said, "my wife tells me you've come all the way from Washington. What brings you to Chicago?"

"I'm just looking for a fresh start," I lied. "There was nothing left for me in Washington."

"I'm surprised you didn't want to go somewhere more glamorous. Why not sunny California?" he replied jokingly, but I knew he wanted a serious answer to his question.

"I don't do well with the sun." Again, I lied, but I hoped my pale skin would convince them. "And I'm not really a glamorous sort of girl. I'd rather just…blend in."

"I would, too," Edward murmured, so softly I almost didn't hear, but as I glanced at him across the table, I knew that he meant it for my ears. There was something new in his eyes as he met mine.

It scared the hell out of me.

* * *

Edward cornered me as soon as we left the dining room.

"Ready for our walk?" he asked. Was his eagerness what I thought it was?

He led me down the surprisingly pleasant streets. The sun was starting to set, and the elderly were sitting outside their houses, while children played in the street. I supposed we were in a very upscale part of Chicago, where crime and suffering were much less apparent.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to," Edward said, his eyes straight ahead. "I just thought…it might help."

I nodded my understanding. Maybe it would help, if only to ease my pain… "We were childhood sweethearts," I began, reciting the story I'd cooked up over dinner. "We had always planned to get married, but his parents didn't approve of me. They wanted someone more…polished for their son. So they sent him off to private school, forcing him to leave me behind. He thought it would be alright…he said he would go to make sure we'd have the best life possible together. My parents died while he was away…I had to start working, and that was definitely not the kind of woman his parents would accept. The next time he came home, he had a beautiful blonde on his arm. We never spoke again."

I let out a deep breath, pleased with my creative capabilities. It was nothing resembling the truth, but hopefully convincing enough for this time.

Edward shocked me, taking my hand in his and squeezing gently. "I'm sorry, Bella. But he didn't deserve you."

"Why do you say that?" I questioned, surprised at the tingles the filled my palm at his touch.

"He should have fought for you." His voice was low, earnest. "I would have."

I felt the blush coloring my face and turned my head away, unsure. This was happening so fast, and I didn't know if it was right.

"What was his name?" he asked a moment later, probably trying to break the tension with an easy question. I scrambled for a name.

"Jacob Black," I blurted out, and then regretted it instantly. My wince probably served to solidify my story, though.

"Well, he wasn't right for you," he said darkly. "The right person would do anything you asked, unquestioningly."

I wondered if he knew just how pertinent his words were. "I know that now," I managed to say.

"Good," he replied. An awkward silence fell between us. I started looking around the street, desperate for anything to focus on but him. My eyes landed on a building, taller than the ones to either side, with a red cross painted on front.

"Is that the hospital?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered, giving me an odd look. I knew he wanted answers, but I couldn't give him any.

"Well, that's good to know," I said brightly, turning away. He saw right through me, as usual, but he didn't as for an explanation. I thanked the heavens that this Edward was much less nosy than the one I knew.

"It's getting dark," he sighed, turning us around. "Let's get home."

He was unhappy with me, of course. I wished I could confide in him; I longed to tell him everything and to have him tell me it would be fine. That was impossible, though, so I settled for taking his arm and following in silence.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Only Human (6/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

I went up to bed early and turned the lights out, hoping that would lead everyone to believe me asleep already. It seemed like ages before Mrs. Masen finally came up the stairs for bed. Her husband and son had passed my bedroom door nearly an hour ago, but she seemed to have endless stores of energy.

Finally, the light in the hallway went out and I heard the close of a door down the hall. I waited, impatiently, another half hour to be sure she would be asleep. Then, I crept as quickly and stealthily as possible down the stairs.

I paused in the foyer, listening for any following footsteps. My eyes landed on the table, where today's newspaper lay, discarded. I reached for it, curious to see the date. I still had no idea _when_, exactly, it was.

_July 19, 1918_. I swallowed and glanced over the stories. News about the war. From the tone of the article, it seemed like the war was turning in our favor by now. Czar Nicholas II had been killed days ago. I shook my head, marveling at what I was seeing. How could I be living in this era?

"What are you doing up?" a soft voice asked, startling me into dropping the paper. I whirled around and met Edward's suspicious eyes.

"I couldn't sleep," I lied. He smirked.

"I went into your room. Your bed is made, and you're still dressed. It doesn't look like you ever tried to sleep."

"I made my bed and put my clothes on when I got back up," I tried, but he rolled his eyes at me.

"Tell me the truth, Bella. Where are you going?"

"The hospital," I sighed, defeated.

He stepped closer, making my heart flutter nervously. "Why?" he demanded.

"I need to speak to someone who works there."

His eyes roamed my face appraisingly. "Are you ill, Isabella?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not. The person I need to speak with just happens to be a doctor, but that doesn't have anything to do with my reasoning…"

Edward tilted his head, taking another step forward, trapping me between him and the table. "Is it him? Jacob?"

I almost laughed. I'd given him reason to be jealous of Jacob in this time, too. Good one, Bella. "No, I don't even know where he is right now." It was the truth.

"Who are you going to see, then?" His eyes kept me locked in place.

"An old family friend." Never mind that _old_ referred more to his actual age than his status as a family friend… "He might be able to help me."

Edward's face relaxed slightly, but he didn't move away. "You can't go alone, and especially not at this hour. Why aren't you going in the daytime, anyway?"

"I don't know where he lives," I said honestly, "But I do know that he works nights at the hospital. This is the only time I can find him. I have to go."

Edward sighed. "At least let me go with you. It's dangerous."

I frowned. "I need to talk to him alone, Edward."

He crossed his arms, and I realized he was still dressed as well. Had he been waiting for me to try to sneak out?

"I'll wait outside, then, but I'm coming with you. You're not traipsing the streets of Chicago all by yourself at this hour."

I scowled at him, recognizing the stubborn sense of chivalry that had often irked me in _my_ Edward. There would be no arguing with him, so I gave up. "Fine," I said. "But if your parents realize we're gone, you get to come up with an explanation for them."

Edward cocked an eyebrow. "If you really are going to visit a family friend, I don't see why we can't tell them the truth."

"Right," I mumbled, turning for the door. Edward followed close behind.

He hovered close, at times placing a hand on my lower back as we passed through more suspicious areas. Twice, he had to correct me as I attempted to turn the wrong direction, and I blushed each time. I'd gone and proven I need assistance after all, which would only encourage him.

"Who is this friend of yours?" he asked, evidently still suspicious.

"His name is Carlisle." I hoped he would be satisfied with that answer, but of course, he wasn't.

"How do you know him?"

"He was the doctor in our town for awhile." _Or he will be, at least_. "He didn't like small town life, so he moved back to the city."

Edward pursed his lips. "And how did you know he was here?"

I blinked. "Um…well, he kept in touch with some people in town. Word gets around, you know."

"Right," he muttered. "And what makes you so sure he's at _this_ hospital?" We were standing outside the building now.

"I'm guessing," I admitted. _Guessing he'll be at the hospital closest to you_.

"I hope you've guessed correctly," Edward said, following me through the double doors.

I was surprised by the interior of the hospital. It wasn't at all like a modern hospital – no halls lined with rooms, no waiting area, no smell of chemicals. It smelled worse, like decay. I focused on breathing through my mouth as I searched for someone that could help me.

I spotted a nurse at the other end of the room, and I moved quickly toward her. Edward followed silently. I should have asked him to wait by the entrance, but I wanted his comforting presence.

"Excuse me," I said before she could scurry away, "I'm looking for Dr. Cullen, is he here?"

She eyed me suspiciously, then shot a glance at Edward, who hovered behind me. "Upstairs," she said briskly, pointing to a doorway behind her.

I turned to Edward. "Wait here. Please."

He nodded his agreement as I went into the rather dark stairwell and climbed to the next floor. Carlisle was immediately recognizable. He hadn't changed at all, but that was to be expected. As he turned, taking down notes, I saw the difference, however. This Carlisle looked unhappy…lonely. As of now, he had no one, I realized. But that would soon change. Or it was supposed to.

"Dr. Cullen," I said, hesitating only slightly as I approached. He looked up, merely curious, but I don't know why I expected to see any recognition in his eyes. "My name is Bella Swan, and I need to speak with you. Privately, if possible."

If he was puzzled, he didn't show it. "Very well," he said. "Right this way."

He led me into a room off the main area, little more than a storage closet. Carlisle turned on a lamp and I realized it was where they kept the medicines.

"How may I help you?" he asked in his bedside-manner voice. I swallowed past my nerves and plunged ahead.

"I know what you are," I declared.

His reaction was one I knew well, one I'd seen on Edward's face, in the hospital after he saved me from Tyler's van: practiced skepticism.

"What I am?" he repeated, quirking an eyebrow.

"A vampire," I said, preparing to recite his history as Edward had told it. "You were born in the mid-1600s in London. Your father was a preacher. He had you take over his raids when you were old enough, looking for demons. You were smart; you actually found a real vampire, but you couldn't possibly have been prepared for it. You led a raid, and the vampire attacked. He bit you. You knew you were contaminated and that your father would destroy you if he found out. You hid in a cellar for three days in agonizing pain, until your transformation was complete. Should I go on?"

"No need," he said, curious but wary. "How do you know all this?"

"I know because I know you – not now, but ninety years in the future, where I was until earlier today. Somehow, I went back in time…and you're the only person that I know of in this time who could even begin to understand. Who could even believe me."

I watched Carlisle take a slow breath before leaning against the shelf behind him.

"All right. Let's start with how you know me, in the future."

With a sigh of relief, I began to explain. "In the future, you have a whole coven, a family, really. Four that you changed and two that found you, who all share your diet. The first you change is Edward. He'll be dying of the Spanish flu, which will hit Chicago sometime this year…I don't know what month, but I know he's still living, and human now."

"The Spanish flu?" he questioned, brow furrowing.

"Oh…um…I guess it's not called that yet. It's an epidemic…a pandemic, I guess, of influenza that's going to spread around the world. I don't know for sure – I don't know much about it – but it was probably the worst epidemic since the bubonic plague…"

"This Edward…you're close to him? That's how you know me?"

"I'm married to him," I said, feeling the missing weight on my finger. "We were just getting back from our honeymoon when this happened. He was going to change me…now it might never happen."

Carlisle actually showed his surprise. "You married a vampire?"

"He has extraordinary control," I said, full of pride for my vampire. "He doesn't believe it, but he does. He's never once hurt me…even though my blood calls to him more than anyone else's…"

Carlisle frowned. "And you came back to this time…to Edward? As a human?"

"Yes," I sighed. "The last thing I did before it happened was make a wish – it was my birthday, I was blowing out the candles on my cake. Then I opened my eyes, and I was here."

"And your wish?"

"To give Edward all the human experiences he'd been giving me, making sure I did everything possible before he changed me…do you think that's it? That I actually wished my way here? Because it seems so far-fetched…"

Carlisle chuckled. "More far-fetched than vampires?"

"Well, if that's really how I got here…how do I get back?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't have an answer.

Carlisle frowned. "You could try a few things, I suppose, see if anything works. You could try making another wish. Or maybe fulfill the one you made. And if that doesn't work…you do the best you can."

I swallowed. "I'm scared. I don't know this time – I don't know how to act, I don't have any place to go… Edward's family has taken me in, but what if they ask me to leave?"

Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder. "If this is the same Edward you fell in love with, then you should have faith that he won't let any harm come to you. But," he went on, pulling out his tablet and scribbling something down, "here is my address and my telephone number, if you need anything. You're not alone."

I took the paper from him and felt relief all the way to my bones. "Thank you, Carlisle."

"You're welcome." He smiled warmly. "I really have a family in the future?"

I was surprised by the question. Carlisle seemed so hopeful, so…_young_. It was strange. "Yes," I said. "Would you like to know?"

He hesitated. "Desperately, yes. But I think it would be better if I didn't."

I nodded. "All right, well, Edward is waiting for me. I should probably go, before he gets worried."

"He's here with you?" Carlisle opened the door and gestured me out.

"Yes," I sighed. "I tried to sneak out, but he caught me. He wouldn't let me go alone. Too chivalrous for his own good."

Carlisle merely smiled. "It sounds like he cares about you."

"Would you like to meet him?"

"Perhaps another time, when I know what you've told him about me. I wouldn't want to ruin your story."

I nodded. "Okay, then. Thank you, for everything."

He nodded and smiled. "It was wonderful meeting you, Bella."

I left Carlisle upstairs and went to look for Edward. I found him near the front entrance, with his arms crossed, fidgeting like any schoolchild. It was such a contrast to the Edward I knew, who would have been completely still, unnaturally so…

"Thanks for waiting," I said, catching his attention.

He nodded in acknowledgment. "Was he able to help?"

"Yes," I said, leading the way out of the hospital. I was ready with my story. "He's going to help me look for some kind of employment and a place to stay."

"You don't need a place to stay," Edward said, walking close as if he expected attackers to pop out at any moment. Typical Edward. If he only knew the kinds of dangers I'd faced…

"But I can't stay with your family forever," I argued. "I don't want to impose on their kindness."

Edward shook his head. "We _want_ you to stay."

I swallowed. "But you hardly know me."

Edward shrugged, head down. He looked so…shy. "I feel like I've known you forever."

"I feel the same way," I admitted. I wasn't merely referring to the future, but to the day I'd spent with him as well. This was Edward, a little different but essentially the same, and I was slowly realizing that I couldn't help loving him. "But this all sort of scares me…"

Edward took my hand in his warm one. "I don't want you to be afraid."

My heart ached for another time, a sunlit meadow and pained golden eyes… I squeezed his hand. "I'll try not to be."


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Only Human (7/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** Back to the future. Again. And then back to the past.

* * *

I was prepared for the moment Carlisle gained new memories, already curious from remembering myself questioning Bella about their visit.

…"_I'm married to him," she told Carlisle. She looked so lost. "We were just getting back from our honeymoon when this happened. He was going to change me…now it might never happen."_

_Carlisle's response was almost comical. "You married a vampire?"_

"_He has extraordinary control," she said. Her eyes gleamed in the dim light. "He doesn't believe it, but he does. He's never once hurt me…even though my blood calls to him more than anyone else's…"_

I sighed to myself. She hadn't even been gone an hour – which I didn't understand at all, because she'd been in my time for nearly twelve – but I missed her terribly. Perhaps the feeling was made worse by not knowing – not knowing if she would ever return, if I would have to watch her through my memories until…until she died or my human self died, I supposed. How could I endure it?

"_And your wish?" Carlisle asked Bella, who chewed on her lower lip like she did when she was anxious._

"_To give Edward all the human experiences he'd been giving me, making sure I did everything possible before he changed me…do you think that's it? That I actually wished my way here? Because it seems so far-fetched…"_

So that was it. So simple, and yet with such great consequences. She was so foolish. As if I needed anything but her…but I suppose she would see us as uneven until she was one of us…if she ever became one of us.

"_Did you catch all of that, Edward?"_ Carlisle asked.

"Most of it," I sighed. "Do you really think she can get back to this time?"

"_I think she'll be back, once the wish is fulfilled. You'll have to be patient. Try to enjoy it – that's what she intended."_

"Thanks, Carlisle," I murmured, falling back into the memories.

"_I feel like I've known you forever."_

"_I feel the same way," she said to me. "But this all sort of scares me…"_

_Her hand was soft in mine. "I don't want you to be afraid."_

My past self didn't notice anything amiss, but I recognized the sadness in her eyes when I said those words. I wondered if she remembered how she replied…she'd been afraid because she'd wanted to stay with me, and neither of us believed she could…

_Please come back to me, Bella…

* * *

_

Over the next few days, I went job hunting. If I _was_ stuck in this time, it was important that I could provide for myself. And if I wasn't, it still needed to appear like I was.

Edward tried to dissuade me, but eventually settled for accompanying me, to make sure I didn't wind up in "some _factory_." I suspected he only wanted an excuse to spend time with me, but I argued anyway.

"Just what's wrong with factories? Plenty of respectable people work in them."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I'm not being snobbish, Bella. Factory work is grueling and dangerous, and you'll be stuck working from dawn 'til dusk. I don't want that for you, and I have a feeling you don't want that, either."

"Well, not especially, no," I replied, appeasing him – he looked ready to drag me back home if necessary to keep me from working in a factory. "But I do want to do something. I hate not providing for myself."

"You know, any sane girl would be husband-hunting instead of looking for work," Edward commenting, looking askance at me.

I snorted, most unladylike. "Just what do you think my chances there are? Who would have me?"

"I would," Edward said, holding himself confidently but unable to hide the betraying hesitation in his eyes.

"Oh? Is that a proposal?" I countered, expecting him to back down.

"Yes," he said, grinning. I rolled my eyes. I should have known better.

"Gee, thanks," I said, picking up my pace a bit. I felt the same frustration I did when I first met my Edward, before I knew what he was and had to constantly wonder what on earth he was thinking.

"Is that an acceptance?" Edward asked, keeping pace with me, his eyes full of mischief.

"Yeah, sure," I laughed, shaking my head.

He grinned again. "I'll hold you to that."

"Wouldn't surprise me," I muttered under my breath.

Job hunting was much, much harder in 1918, it turned out. Basically, my options were sewing, cooking and cleaning. Although I'd claimed to work with a seamstress, I actually couldn't sew more than a button, so that wouldn't work. I told Edward I was sick of sewing for a living, so that my overlooking those jobs would seem less suspicious. I tried to apply for a few cooking jobs, but they all told me I was either "too young" or "overqualified." Edward had to explain it to me.

"I suppose this isn't the case in Washington, but a lot of employers try to fill jobs like that with negroes. They can pay them less."

It was hard to mask my horror. "But that's not right!"

"No," Edward agreed, "It's not. But unfortunately, that's the way it is."

It was strange to realize that I was living in a time before the Civil Rights Act, before minimum wage, even before labor rights…what on earth was I doing here?

"Can I convince you to give up now?" Edward asked at the end of the third day. We walked slowly back to his house, bogged down by the heat and humidity after walking several city blocks.

"Yes, I think you probably can," I sighed, pushing my loose hair away from my face. His mother had shown me how to pin it up properly, much to my relief, but my hair was continually escaping to drive me insane.

"Thank goodness," he sighed. "It's much too hot for this."

"You volunteered to come," I pointed out.

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "To keep you from getting into trouble. And it's a good thing I did! You tripped four times today, and if I hadn't caught you the last time, you would have cracked your skull open."

I blushed and crossed my arms defensively. "I'm just a little clumsy, that's all."

Edward burst out laughing. "Did I forget to mention the paper cut? And the jug of water you spilled? And the car that nearly ran you over? You're like a magnet for trouble!"

Once again, the similarities between this Edward and mine stunned me. Their minds worked in exactly the same way, it seemed, down to their choice of words. And yet, this Edward was so carefree, unburdened. I mourned a little for him already, knowing the suffering he would endure if things worked out the way they were supposed to.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he interrupted my thoughts. "I've lost you."

"Just embarrassed to have my clumsiness so eloquently detailed," I lied. His mouth tightened; he knew I was lying. I cut off further questioning.

"What about you? Surely you have your flaws, too."

"My mother always says I think too much," he smiled.

I couldn't stop my answering smile. "Hmm, I can see that. I don't think it's a bad thing, though."

"No?" He leaned closer, stopping me in my tracks. "What if I was thinking about you?"

I swallowed, feeling the heat of his intense gaze. "That…wouldn't be bad, either."

"Really?" his whole face lit up with hope. "Because I'm serious, Bella. I never thought I'd meet someone whose company I enjoyed more than my own, but these past few days…the more I know you, the more I want to be near you."

I realized then, as he tentatively took my face in his hands, that this was an Edward with nothing holding him back. This Edward didn't have to struggle with his conflicting desires every moment of the day; he had everything in the world to offer, and nothing to protect me from. This was what our relationship could have been like all along, if only…but maybe it would be that way again, after he changed me…maybe he would be this confident, intent Edward that I was so besotted with now.

"Edward…" I murmured, unsure.

And then his lips covered mine.

This Edward was warm, and his lips felt like satin. His mouth moved gently, chastely against mine before he stepped back. His hands dropped to his sides.

"I'm sorry – I know it's too soon for that, but I just –"

"It's okay," I interrupted, grabbing his hand. "I didn't mind."

That lopsided grin appeared, and we started to walk again while my mind shuffled through my hazy thoughts. This all felt right, but wrong…right, because this was Edward – Edward's soul, even if the body was a little different…but wrong because it wasn't _my_ Edward. Wrong because my secret remained between us…because I couldn't _stay_ with this Edward. I knew that now. I had to find my way back, somehow, because I needed eternity. Nothing else would be enough.

Yet my body called to this one, enchanted with the possibilities that had always been off-limits before. I wanted to feel Edward love me without restraint.

"Bella?" his voice broke into my thoughts. "There's a dance tomorrow. Would you like to go with me?"

I winced. Why did they always want me to dance? "Um, well, I would, Edward, but I don't have anything to wear, and I really _can't_ dance."

"Come on, it's all in the leading. And we'll find you something. Please?"

How could I resist those eyes?

"All right, but you can't let anyone else dance with me. I'm likely to do someone serious injury."

He laughed, his eyes sparkling. "Sounds like a bargain to me. Deal."

* * *

Laying in bed that night, I tried to keep my mind in this time, on this Edward, but my thoughts continually wandered. I longed for my Edward's heavy arm around my waist, his cool breath on my neck. I wanted to be able to turn over and burrow into his chest, feel his lips on my hair, kiss his cool lips… I wanted to feel our naked bodies pressed together and wrap my legs around his hips…

I sighed and rolled over for the umpteenth time that night. What was my Edward doing now? Did he know where I was? Was he panicking? I hoped to God he wouldn't give up until he found me…that he wouldn't try again what he did after I jumped off that cliff…no, surely he wouldn't. Surely he would wait for me to return.

I closed my eyes against those thoughts. Somehow, this would all work out. I just couldn't feel very confident about it at the moment.

I wanted to be comforted. I thought of Edward, sleeping down the hall…I didn't think he would mind if I went to him; he would understand. But I didn't want his parents to find out and think badly of me…

_Just don't trip in the hallway_, I said to myself as I threw the covers back. I crept out of my room, closing the door as quietly as possible behind me. Five steps later, I was at Edward's door. Knocking would be too loud, so I went on in, hearing the barest click as the door shut behind me.

He was fast asleep, with one arm curled around his pillow and the other underneath. I'd never seen him look so peaceful. Even my Edward, who could be as still as a statue, had never looked this relaxed.

I approached tentatively, listening to his soft breathing. Then I reached forward to touch his shoulder.

He woke almost instantly, peering blearily up at me. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"I just – I miss home," I told him. It was the only way I could think to tell him the truth without giving myself away.

"What can I do?" he asked, sitting up.

"Can I just stay with you for awhile?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course, come here." He pulled the blankets back for me to slide into the bed. I did, sinking into the comforting warmth as he spooned against me. His arms held me tightly, and it wasn't as hard to sleep after that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Only Human (8/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** In this chapter, Edward's mother magically turns into Alice.

* * *

Edward was still asleep when I woke.

I lay watching him for longer than I should, but I was captivated by the little things I'd never been able to witness before. The way his lashes fell against his cheeks, the same shade as his hair…the way his breath came out in soft puffs, almost a snore but not quite…the way his eyelids fluttered as he dreamed.

I wanted to kiss him, to find out what sounds he would make waking up, if he would hold me tighter as he tried to go back to sleep. But that was a line I wasn't ready to cross, so I pulled myself from his grasp and crept out of the room.

I forgot to check if the hallway was clear first.

Elizabeth Masen stood there, arranging flowers in a vase on a small table against the wall. I froze as she turned to look at me.

"Um…I…this isn't –" I stammered, meeting her calm eyes with desperation.

She finally smiled, chuckling. "This may sound very strange to you, Bella, but I trust my son. I know I raised a gentleman who wouldn't dare do anything inappropriate with a young lady before marriage. Besides, I have a very strong feeling about his intentions toward you. I also know that he wouldn't choose anyone that wasn't absolutely worthy, so I trust you, too, Bella."

I blushed. My significantly more modern parents would not react nearly as well as she had – but then, there were always double standards when it came to sons and daughters – and I didn't know what to say. Elizabeth was so perceptive, too…did she know more about Edward and I than she was letting on? "Th-thank you."

"Not at all," she said, returning to her flowers. "Edward tells me he's taking you out tonight. I've laid out something on your bed that I think will do. Why don't you try it on and come show me? We can make a few alterations if necessary."

"All right," I agreed, still trembling a little with relief. I'd felt sure she would call me a harlot and throw me out of the house.

The dress I found lying on the unmade bed was lovely, a vintage classic – except it wasn't vintage in this time. It was a rich, cream-colored, ankle-length gown, loosely draped like the dresses in the movies… The elbow-length sleeves were trimmed in delicate lace, the same lace with which the bodice was decorated. The soft satin fabric was bunched on either side, as if holding the dress up from the floor. It was…absolutely beautiful.

I pulled off my nightgown and slipped the dress over my head. It fell smoothly over my body, and it was _so_ comfortable. I would have to tell Alice that I wanted to dress 1918-style all the time…

I turned to look at myself in the full-length mirror in the room. The dress showed just a subtle hint of my body's shape, just tight enough to reveal that I had hips and a chest. It was sexy, not in the modern way, but in a way that I knew my Edward would find appealing…and this Edward probably would, too.

I tentatively reopened my bedroom door and peeked in the hallway. Mrs. Masen had disappeared, so I crept over to her bedroom door, worried Edward would see. It was open, and she sat at the vanity table inside.

"Oh, Bella, it's lovely on you," she said, turning to face me. She stood abruptly and circled me, frowning thoughtfully. "We'll need to raise the hemline just a little bit, but it fits you well."

"Oh, you don't have to do that," I stammered. "I mean, isn't this your dress? If you raise the hemline –"

"Don't worry, I wasn't planning to wear it again, anyway."

I bit my lip. "You've already done so much for me. I don't want you going to more trouble."

Elizabeth shook her head, returning to the vanity table to rummage around in the top drawer. "If it makes you feel better, don't think about it as me doing this for you. Think of it as something for Edward."

For Edward…wasn't that exactly why I'd come here in the first place?

"Okay," I smiled tentatively.

"There now," she said, and I realized she'd retrieved a box of straight pins. I winced. With my luck, the box would fall and half of them would end up embedded in my skin. "Let's get this pinned so I can get to work."

* * *

After lunch, a mere three hours later, she returned the dress to me. I marveled at the neat stitching along the hem, better than anything I ever could have done.

"Thank you so much," I enthused.

Elizabeth grinned. "Don't thank me yet. We still have your hair to do."

In the end, I let her tend to my hair without a fuss. In less time than I would have thought possible, she had it pinned up into an elegant formation – I didn't know what to call it, but it was perfect.

"Are you excited for this evening?" Mrs. Masen asked as she prepared to put make-up on my face.

"I suppose," I replied. "I don't really know what to expect."

"What did Edward tell you?" she asked. She seemed surprised.

"Nothing," I shrugged. "He said there was a dance and asked me to go…"

This time her eyebrows shot up. Her green eyes glinted with speculation. "It's more than a simple dance, I'm afraid. It's one of the biggest events in the city. One of our acquaintances holds the party annually. Mr. Masen and I usually attend, but we have another obligation tonight with his work associates. I can't tell you how surprised I was when Edward said he planned to attend…usually he'll do everything he can to avoid going."

"Really?" The thread of apprehension wound tight around me, making it a little harder to breathe. I didn't mind being with Edward…I didn't care that he hadn't told me what a big deal this was. That was typical Edward, really. But I wasn't ready to be paraded around high society. I would make a fool out of myself, and embarrass Edward and his family…I would most certainly fall down or knock something over and I definitely didn't know correct manners for this time period…

She knelt before me with what appeared to be lip paint – it couldn't be called lip_stick_, because there was no stick – and then she caught sight of my expression.

"Oh, don't worry, Bella. It's just a bunch of society's elite who have nothing better to do that dress up and throw parties. They're not worth impressing – it's just easier to deal with them if you do. Just have fun tonight."

I smiled grimly as she came at me with a brush dabbed in the lip coloring. "I'll try."

* * *

After shoving my feet into shoes that were too small – and heeled, no less – and putting on the cream-colored, wrist-length gloves that matched the dress, I let Elizabeth help me down the stairs to meet Edward.

I saw him before he heard us approach. He was dressed to the nines, sitting at his piano but not playing. Instead, he fidgeted like any schoolboy. My heart ached a little at the sight.

When he turned to see me, I received the full effect of his attire – a full tuxedo, almost identical to the one Edward had worn when he'd taken me to prom. His hair was combed neatly and plastered to his head with…some kind of substance. Pomade? I didn't know how to tell. But he looked like a proper gentleman out of the early 1900s. Just like he was.

I met his eager eyes as he took me in and a smile spread across his face. "Very well done, Mother," he said without looking away from me. Even I had to admit, the finished effect was intriguing. With my lips painted red and rouge on my cheeks, I actually felt like I belonged in this time.

"You're like something from a dream," he said, approaching. "I wish I could stop time and keep you like this forever."

I almost laughed, it was so ironic. If only he knew that his future self could do just that – or that he would one day try anything to prevent it.

But I managed to keep a smile plastered on my face and thank him. "You look pretty handsome yourself."

He grinned and took my hand. "Shall we?"

I swallowed down my trepidation. "I guess so."

He led me outside to the black car parked against the curb. I looked it over uneasily. I'd never ridden in it, and I didn't really want to – it didn't look like the cars I knew. Edward just smiled at my hesitation.

"Are you that afraid of my driving?" he asked, opening the passenger door.

"No. Well, I do hope you keep the speed reasonable," I said, wondering if Edward's penchant for speed had been present in his human life. "But won't your parents need it tonight?"

He shook his head as he lifted me carefully onto the seat. "No, my parents are hosting dinner at home."

I watched him walk around the car and climb in the driver's side. As he turned the ignition, the image of him struck me, hard – in his old-fashioned suit, driving his old-fashioned car…Edward had never looked so much the epitome of _1918_. I liked it, I realized. All that time spent arguing that I wasn't _that_ girl…but maybe I would have been, in this time and place. Maybe I was more old-fashioned than I thought.

"So…who are these people?" I asked as the silence wore on. "The ones throwing this party, I mean."

"The Benedicts," Edward replied. Something in his tone triggered a response.

"You don't like them," I guessed. I wondered why we were going to this party, then.

"No, no, they're fine," Edward sighed, glancing at me out the corner of his eye. "But...well, you may as well be warned now. They have an…overzealous daughter. I tend to do whatever I can to avoid her."

My reflex was to roll my eyes, but I fought it. Of course, girls in every time period were drawn to my Edward…I shouldn't be surprised. And I shouldn't be jealous or insecure, either, I reminded myself as the old feelings tried to resurface. How many times had Edward told me that he'd never loved anyone before me? Never even felt a spark of interest. And surely he wouldn't care for some girl that continually threw herself at him. That wasn't at all Edward's type.

I decided to tease him about it. "So, you decided to take me with you this time as a human shield."

"No!" Edward cried, quickly defensive. "Until yesterday I had every intention of staying home, as usual, but I thought it might be pleasant to attend for once with someone whose company I truly enjoy."

I couldn't deny the rush of happiness that followed his words. "Well, still, I'll be prepared to beat the other girls away. Can't leave your virtue unprotected."

He laughed freely, loudly. "As much as I appreciate that, you, Miss Swan, are the last person who should be guarding my virtue." The suggestive hint to his voice made my legs tremble.

"And why is that?" I asked, watching the corner of his mouth inch up in an irresistible smirk.

"Because, Bella, you're the one woman I would be very much tempted to throw my virtue away for."

I gaped at him. The statement was hardly shocking to my sensibilities – I'd been _more_ than happy to steal my Edward's virtue, numerous times – but I'd never expected to hear it from this Edward. Evidently, I'd underestimated the power of his human hormones.

He glanced at me and his smile fell. "I'm sorry, I've offended you, haven't I? I shouldn't have said that. It was inappropriate."

And there he was again, the gentleman. My grin was unstoppable. "No, you haven't offended me. Just surprised me, that's all. Maybe your virtue doesn't need as much protecting as I thought."

He laughed and pulled onto a long driveway – I realized we were heading for a massive house, one that definitely wouldn't be found in modern Chicago today. A line of cars pulled up to the entrance where exquisitely dressed couples stepped out in flashes of color.

"No, Bella, I think you'd better get out the sword and shield. My virtue is in definite need of your assistance."

He grinned at me, idling in the line of cars, but I felt suddenly nervous. "I think you'd better remember your promise. Don't let anyone else dance with me."

Edward shook his head, smiling faintly as he leaned closer to speak softly in my ear, his tone delightfully possessive. "Of course I won't, Bella. It's in my best interests to guard _your_ virtue, you know."

The blood pooled immediately in my cheeks as he moved away again, eying me slyly. I laughed shakily, trying to give him a stern look, but I knew immediately that I failed. "You will be the death of me, Edward Masen."

He merely grinned.

* * *

A/N: If you need a visual, I've posted a link to Bella's dress in my profile.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Only Human (9/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

The Benedicts' home was even lovelier inside than it was on the outside, although everything – from the crystal chandeliers to the thick carpets – screamed of money. Some parts were beautiful; others were merely ostentatious.

"What are you thinking?" Edward murmured low in my ear as I clung to his arm and we walked through the foyer.

I swallowed. "I'm thinking I'm going to embarrass myself very badly during the course of the evening, knowing me."

Edward laughed. "Don't worry so much, Bella. I'll keep you upright."

"Good luck," I snorted, but internally I was pleased. With Edward at my side, I did feel more sure of myself…I always had.

The smile stayed on his face as he led me to a large doorway which opened to a long gallery – a giant parlor, really, already full of people. An elegantly dressed couple stood at the doorway, smiles plastered on their faces. The hosts, I realized. She wore a pure white gown, sparkling with silver beads. He wore standard black and white. Had they not both been slightly aged, both with dark hair and eyes, they would have looked like a catalogue ad.

"Edward!" the woman cried, stepping forward to kiss him exuberantly on the cheek. I could imagine where the daughter got her "overzealousness" from. "Oh, I'm delighted you decided to come after all. And who is this delightful young lady?"

I was surprised to see nothing but friendliness as she turned to me expectantly. Truly, I'd expected the sort of mother who thought her daughter deserved whatever she wanted and would do anything to obtain it for her. Evidently, she either knew better or was oblivious to her daughter's wants. Or Edward had been exaggerating, but I doubted that. He was too gentlemanly to critique a woman's behavior unless it was honestly deplorable.

"This is Bella Swan. She's with us for the summer," Edward said. The disappointment that weighed on me was a surprise. Had I expected him to declare his undying love for me? I didn't know what we were yet…of course he wouldn't introduce me as anything other than a houseguest. "Bella," he continued, "allow me to introduce John and Claire Benedict."

"It's wonderful to meet you," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. They seemed perfectly nice – he quietly humoring his wife, she offering a welcoming smile – but my nerves still controlled me.

"And you as well," Claire said. "Edward, be sure to introduce her to Rebecca. She's already run off with her friends, but she'll be so glad to see you."

Slyly, I glanced at Edward as we walked away. His face looked a little tight.

"Let me guess," I said, unsuccessfully fighting a smile. "She's the one I need to be warding off with a stick?"

Edward sighed. "Sadly, yes. But hopefully we can avoid – oh, damn. Never mind."

I'd never heard this Edward swear in the slightest, so I was prepared for it to be bad when I followed his eyes to the young woman approaching us. And it was bad. Of course, she was gorgeous – rich dark hair and eyes turned up just enough to give them an exotic look. I sighed. If only it had been a blonde – I could handle blondes. But I wasn't used to competition among brunettes.

"Edward, you came!" she cried, completely ignoring me. Instinctively I clutched his arm tighter. Even still, she latched herself onto his other arm, forming an awkward tug of war between us.

Edward shot me a glance, his gaze oddly calculating, before he turned back to her. "Yes, I thought Bella might enjoy it." He chose to punctuate my name by placing his hand over mine as he spoke it. Rebecca's eyes narrowed as they zoned in on our hands, and I decided to put the final nail in the coffin, so to speak.

"Yes, he was afraid I would be getting bored – my Edward is _so_ considerate, isn't he?" I gushed with false innocence, relishing the shock in her eyes. My Edward…he _was_ my Edward, even though I'd been thinking of the vampire version of Edward with that title…he was mine in any incarnation, I realized, because beneath the subtle changes he was essentially the same. Just Edward.

"Oh, yes, how nice of him," Rebecca said flatly, unable to infuse the right amount of politeness in her voice. She shot me another dark look before looking at Edward from under her lashes. What a dirty trick that was – one I was very familiar with.

"Will you at least save a dance for me, Edward?" she asked. I glanced over her shoulder to see a group of girls watching us curiously – her friends, I supposed.

"I'm afraid I haven't any to spare," he replied, unfailingly polite, but I heard the warning edge in his tone. I recognized that tone well – the tone he'd use with me when I crossed the line of his delicate control…so he'd _always_ been that bossy…

"Oh, well…" a hint of a blush grazed her cheeks, and I felt a little sorry for her. Being rejected by Edward had to be absolutely devastating. But she forced a smile and pressed on. "Would you like to join us for a game of cards? We were just about to start."

"No, thank you. There are a few more people I'd like Bella to meet," Edward said. It sounded like his patience was wearing thin; I squeezed his arm in an attempt to calm him.

"Well, enjoy yourselves, then. I'll see you later."

And finally, she was gone. Her friends took her in like a bird returning to a flock and they immediately started tittering away.

"Are there really more people you want me to meet?" I asked a little apprehensively, though I had my suspicions.

"No," he admitted, grinning. "I just didn't want to play cards. Brilliantly handled, by the way. I think I'll make you the full-time custodian of _your_ Edward's virtue."

I blushed, trying to read his eyes. He seemed to like the possessive pronoun, so I didn't shy away from it. "I think that's a job I'd like to take. What are the wages?"

"Hmm." His eyes danced in response to my flirtation, which in turn made butterflies erupt in my stomach. I hadn't felt so giddy since…since my wedding night. The thought was sobering, but I tried to hide it. "I think the wages are negotiable. Why don't we start with my undying affection and go from there?"

"I don't know…" I pretended to contemplate. "I think I'm going to need your undying affection _and_ your eternal devotion."

"Done," he smiled, and the underlying seriousness in his eyes made me shiver. I knew he meant it, and it scared and thrilled me at the same time. Certainly, I had already fallen for this Edward…but falling in deeper only seemed cause for more pain when I left him…

As I avoided his eyes, I came to the abrupt realization that we'd been standing in the same spot for several long moments while the party continued around us – groups of people surrounded the room, talking, laughing, smoking, being young and happy. I tried to pull my mind back into the moment, away from the husband that might be missing me and worrying over me right now.

"So," I said, forcing a smile, "What do we do now?"

He had caught my change in mood; I saw his face fall. I didn't know how to explain that it wasn't his fault, so I didn't try.

"Well, dinner will be served shortly, and after that, the dancing will start."

I worked to look cheerful. "And are we going to keep standing here until then?"

"No, as much as I'd like that, we should probably make the rounds," he sighed, eying the people around us. "This is the part I'd rather skip."

"I feel the same way, but I don't think I should encourage you to shirk from your social obligations," I said.

Edward smiled. "Well, then, brace yourself."

I did, and he led me around the room, introducing me to people whose names I would never remember. The majority were his parents' friends and acquaintances, older people who gushed over Edward and shot quizzical looks at me. I tried to make a good impression, to prove myself worthy of Edward and his family, but most of the people retained their bemused expressions as we walked away.

Everything was going normally when Edward suddenly stopped and then dragged me away – away from a group of boys at the fireplace, I realized, all smoking and laughing. Whatever he was trying to avoid, he wasn't fast enough – a boy with dirty blonde hair and grey eyes saw us and called out Edward's name. The boy's smile wasn't quite a grin, wasn't quite friendly – it was almost…feral. Obviously, he was what Edward was trying to avoid.

"Edward, introduce us to your friend," the boy said, letting out a puff of smoke from his cigarette. The others eyed us, clearly speculating.

Edward frowned. "This is Bella," was all he said.

The boy smirked. "Come now, Eddie, don't be so rude. I'm Norman Bouchard," he said to me, holding out his hand. Sensing Edward's discomfort, I didn't take it.

"Nice to meet you," I said conventionally, leaving my left hand on Edward's arm and clutching the right in my dress.

Norman smirked, as though he sensed my uneasiness. "Edward and I attend the same school. We had the pleasure of boarding together last year."

"Fascinating," I murmured, guessing that the arrangement hadn't worked out so well. Edward, scowling, finally opened his mouth to speak.

"I hate to end the reunion, but we have a few more introductions to make. See you later."

And with that brisk excuse, Edward tugged me away.

"What was that all about?" I asked, watching his profile – his jaw was rigid with tension. Such a familiar expression.

"Norman Bouchard is…not a gentleman," Edward said through gritted teeth. "In fact, he delights in seducing women and boasting about it later."

I couldn't help smiling as I realized what Edward was so upset about. "Aww, Edward – don't worry. I'm too smart to fall for his tricks."

Edward turned to face me, struggling to keep a frown, but a smile was breaking free at the corners of his mouth. "Yes, I can see you doing a lot of damage to him first. But that doesn't mean I have to stand there and watch him ogle you."

The scowl deepened as he contemplated that thought. My grin was impossible to prevent. "Oh, Edward. You're adorable when you get possessive and jealous."

"I'm not possessive. Or jealous," he said defensively.

"Of course you are," I teased. "But I really don't mind – I think it's sweet."

But Edward was still frowning. I stopped walking, forcing him to stop and face me. "What's the matter, Edward?"

He heaved a very uncharacteristic sigh and his eyes pierced right through me. "I don't know exactly what to make of you, Bella. There are moments like these when I think you might feel as much as I do – and then other times it's as though you're miles away, like you're dreaming of someone else…"

I felt horrible. How could I have given this Edward reason to doubt me, too? With my own sigh, I stepped closer, shocked as always by the feel of his body heat in this close proximity. "Edward, I promise, every part of me is with you."

"Every part?" His voice was calm, but his eyes were hopeful.

"Every part," I repeated. "Of course, it's not easy to let go of the past completely – but with you…that's where I _want_ to be." It wasn't a lie, but only half-true – I wanted to be with Edward. But my heart couldn't decide which Edward that was – nor could it mesh the two together, like it ought to.

"You really mean it?" he pressed. "You're not just saying it –"

"I wouldn't lie about this," I interrupted. My heart fluttered at his smile – I would never tire of seeing that grin, the dimple in his left cheek and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. The same smile he would give for an eternity.

A clock chime broke the spell between us, and Edward's smile dropped slightly. "Time for the meal. Are you ready?"

I did feel more ready – not only for the rest of the night, but for my time here. "Yes. Let's go."


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** Only Human (10/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

Dinner was an overwhelming affair. I was seated along the side of an extraordinarily long table with Edward on one side of me and a shy, sandy-haired boy on the other. He introduced himself as Arthur Mitchell, but I didn't get much else out of him.

Although conversation flew rapidly around us, mostly I talked to Edward. It was impolite, I knew – even in my time, it wasn't good etiquette to devote all one's attention to one person at a social gathering. But I couldn't help myself. He was too enthralling.

"Tell me about your school," I said, my curiosity piqued from our earlier run-in with Norman. "Where is it? How long have you gone there?"

Edward smiled at my barrage of questions. "It's a school in Pennsylvania that prepares students for higher education – I've been there for five years now. My father wants me to go into law, like him; I'm sure he's already trying to pull strings at Harvard, even though I've a year to go."

Something in his tone suggested discontentment. "And you don't want to be a lawyer?" I surmised, still picking at my dinner. It was finer dining than I was used to, and I was rather unsettled by the fact that I didn't exactly know _what_ I was eating...but I didn't want to appear rude by avoiding it.

"I suppose it would be a tolerable profession, but it's never held much interest to me," Edward replied. He sounded relaxed enough, but I wondered if he'd ever spoken to anyone about this before.

"What would you like to do, then?" I asked.

Edward grinned. "Go to war, of course."

I rolled my eyes, fighting the urge to poke him with my fork. That would be _most_ unladylike. "_Besides_ that. The War won't last forever."

Frowning, Edward turned pensive. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. I like music…but that's not much of a profession, is it?"

"It could be," I encouraged, "If you wanted it to be. You could be the next great composer."

Edward grinned. "A lot of the great composers were miserable. Their lives were really scandalous, too – how could I do that to my future wife and children?"

I forced a smile, knowing he would never have that life. "Maybe you could break the mold and become a non-scandalous composer. I'm sure your family would happily support you."

Edward cocked his head. "Would _you_ marry a composer?"

Oh, there was a loaded question. "If I loved him, yes." I chased that down with a drink of water.

"Hmm," Edward mused, taking a drink as well. "What sort of man could you fall in love with, then?"

Another loaded question. How seriously would he take my answer? Judging by the look on his face, I would have to be careful. "Well…" I began, "I would want someone kind, but with strong principles… Someone who would always have my best interests at heart. Someone I could talk to easily, but could also be with comfortably without talking… Someone who would love me unconditionally," I finished. Yes, that would do for an answer. All of it applied to Edward – _both_ Edwards.

I was saved from hearing his response by the appearance of the servants coming to take away the current course. I took a moment to look around the room, and then regretted it – my eyes locked with Norman Bouchard, who offered me a sly grin. I turned away, back to Edward.

"What's the story with Norman?" I asked, catching Edward by surprise. "You really seemed to dislike him."

"It's just like I told you," Edward replied, but I knew there was more. His jaw was tense.

"Are you not telling me because it's that bad, or are you just afraid of offending my delicate feminine sensibilities?"

Edward's scowl deepened and he took another bite of his meal, stalling. "It's just that…he used to take girls to our room. And I should have reported it, or tried to stop him, but…"

The laughter bubbled just under the surface. Only Edward would feel guilty for not stopping his roommate from having liaisons with willing participants. "He would have found a way no matter what you did, Edward. You would have just made your own life miserable by going against him, I'd imagine. He seems like the vindictive type."

His face slackened – he looked so relieved. "So you don't think I'm – that I'm –"

"A co-conspirator in a series of dastardly deeds? No, Edward, I don't," I said, unable to hold back the laugh at the end.

He actually rolled his eyes at me, when I'd been fighting the urge all night. "This is funny to you."

"A little," I admitted sheepishly. "But I did say I liked strong principles, didn't I?"

I could tell he understood what I wanted to say but couldn't. His answering smile was brilliant. "The next course will be the last, you know," Edward said, neatly changing the subject. "Then the dancing will begin."

My groan was embarrassingly loud. I flushed as several faces turned to look at me. When their attention was occupied elsewhere again, I smacked Edward on the arm – he was shaking with laughter.

"You know I'm going to step on your feet, right?" I hissed.

He grinned. "If I have it my way, you'll be stepping on my feet all night."

* * *

In the end, we did dance, and it seemed to last all night. Edward did his best with me, and he did dance very well…but evidently only a vampire could deal with my lack of coordination, because Edward would have several bruised toes later.

"Is this as horrible as you imagined?" Edward asked in a whisper, holding me tightly as we circled the Benedicts' ballroom to a slow song.

"Not quite," I smiled, locked in his gaze. I still couldn't get over the deep green of his eyes, how they drew me in just as easily as his amber eyes ever had.

"Damned by faint praise," Edward sighed, his fingers tightening slightly on my hip. "I suppose I'll have to work harder to impress you."

I chuckled. "You don't need to impress me, Edward."

"For what I want, yes, I think I still have more impressing to do," he insisted. I was afraid to know exactly what he meant by that, so I didn't ask, and he didn't press the issue.

I was content enough to be in his arms right now; I wasn't completely ready to face what the future held, here in this time, with this Edward…I'd just come to terms with my feelings for this Edward. My _love_ for this Edward. But what that meant for me was more than I could cope with.

We danced for two more songs. I was vaguely aware of the people around us – Norman leading Rebecca around the floor, her mooning over him like he was some kind of movie star. I couldn't spare them too much attention.

The crowd was thinning out now; only the most persistent dancers remained. I felt my eyes drooping as I relied more and more on Edward to keep me up.

He chuckled. "I suppose I should get you home before you fall asleep here on the dance floor," he said, reluctantly pulling away, although his arm remained around my waist to support me.

"Probably a good idea," I murmured, letting him guide me out of the warm room. Mr. and Mrs. Benedict were already at the door, saying goodbye to guests. I forced myself to perk up enough to make the usual pleasantries. They didn't keep us long, and soon we were walking to the car. Well, Edward was walking; I was stumbling.

He actually lifted me into the car. When he got in, he pulled me to his side, and I drowsed against his shoulder as we drove home.

I woke to a strange rocking motion, and after clearing my vision, I realized Edward was carrying me into the house.

"I can walk," I mumbled, struggling to get down.

"Be still or I might drop you," he said, already carrying me up the stairs. I relaxed, content enough, although I couldn't imagine I was light as a feather to _this_ Edward.

Edward entered my room and sat me gently on the bed. I fought to stay sitting up.

"Do you need help? I can get my mother," he offered, already plucking the gloves off my hands.

I smiled. "No, no, don't wake her. But will you help me get the pins out of my hair? I don't think I could find them all…"

He laughed. "All right." He switched on one of the wall sconces and returned to me, frowning down at my hair. "Goodness, what did my mother do to it?"

I snorted. "That's what it takes to make a girl like me beautiful."

Edward shook his head, plucking pins free wherever he could find them. "You're always beautiful, silly girl."

"Only you seem to think so," I said with a sigh that quickly turned into a yawn. "Maybe that means something."

"Maybe," he agreed softly. His hand rested on my shoulder as he looked for the pins hiding in the back.

We were silent as he finished; I savored the feel of his fingers brushing against my scalp, my neck. The warmth of his fingers was strange but undeniably pleasant…it still felt like Edward touching me, down to the sparks that flowed through our skin.

"There," he murmured as the last of my hair fell free. I sighed in relief.

"Thank you."

His fingers remained, combing through my undoubtedly tangled locks. I leaned into his touch, allowing myself to enjoy it.

"I'm glad you came with me tonight," he said quietly. The fingers that were in my hair moved to stroke the sensitive skin behind my ear. I hummed in pleasure, and his movements stilled.

"I'm glad, too," I managed to say, looking up to his dark eyes – lustful eyes. I swallowed heavily.

"I should let you sleep now," he whispered, pulling his hand away completely.

I wanted to ask him to stay, but I knew what could happen if he did, and that would have consequences. "All right."

"Goodnight, Bella," he sighed. He leaned down and kissed me chastely, but I held him to me, kissing back. I opened my mouth against his, enough for him to understand what I wanted. Our tongues slid sensuously together, hot and eager. I moaned, and he pulled away abruptly in reaction.

"I'd better go…before I do something we'll both regret."

I tried to bring the flush in my face under some control. "Yes, that might be for the best."

He smiled wistfully, lingering in the doorway. "Goodnight," he said again.

"Goodnight, Edward."


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** Only Human (11/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** Congratulations! It's a whole chapter of vampire!Edward!

* * *

It hadn't been a full day since Bella's disappearance, but from my memories, I was sure she'd been in the past at least a week. I could only dare to hope that the strange time difference would mean having her back with me sooner. Any other thought was…unbearable.

My past self was making the most of the situation…not that I could blame him. Hadn't I said before that I would have done everything to make her mine, had I found her then? And my past self was proving me correct; thoughts of war had flown right out of his head, though he still pretended…now, all he thought of was providing a home and a life for Bella. I couldn't feel jealous anymore…I _knew_ those feelings. Those _were_ my feelings. But the fear always remained. If I succeeded with Bella in the past, if I avoided the influenza epidemic and managed to marry her like I wanted…would I ever see her again?

I let the memories flow over me…our first kiss in the summer heat, mingling with our kiss after leaving the meadow…different sensations, but both irresistible. Both _Bella_. I sighed to myself, fighting the longing that the new memories stirred in me. My Bella…what I wouldn't give to hold her now, to feel her softness under my fingertips…

"_I want to take her to the Benedicts' party," I told my mother, fighting my embarrassment. She knew as well as I did my hatred of such social functions; she could easily guess my motivation – my desire to please Bella, to impress her, to win her heart…_

"_Well, I can't say I'm completely surprised," she replied, smiling knowingly. "She's already agreed to go?"_

"_Yes," I mumbled. My face was flushed._

"_I'll take care of her for you, then," she said. "She'll be the belle of the ball."_

_I rolled my eyes at her smirk…_

…_I woke in the middle of the night. She stood there in her pure white nightgown, like an angel or a ghost, come to whisk me away_.

"_I miss home," she'd told me. I'd taken her into my arms, glad of any excuse to be this close to her, happy to imagine a life where I could lie beside her this way every night…but her sadness haunted me. The longing in her eyes wasn't completely mine. She still thought of someone else…her Jacob? I felt sick at the thought…_

No…I knew better. It wasn't Jacob. She missed _me_; I had to believe that, or I would go insane. Clearly she was reciprocating my past self's feelings, but why? Was it because of missing my present self? Or did she feel the same tug that I did in both times, the need to have _her_, in any setting, any form. Did she feel the same in regards to me? Could she love my human self and my vampire self equally, unconditionally?

Could she come back to me here when my human past held so many more opportunities for her?

"_I wish I could stop time and keep you like this forever."_

Yes…I knew the feeling.

_Edward?_ It was Rosalie this time, approaching slowly. I nodded, acknowledging her and simultaneously giving her permission to approach. My family had been on tenterhooks with me for the hours since she'd left, and I hadn't helped any by refusing to move from my spot in the forest, where I watched her.

"You're scared shitless, aren't you?" she said as she sat beside me. I smiled at her lack of subtlety.

"Completely," I agreed. "Wouldn't you be?"

"Yes," she nodded slowly. "If it were Emmett…I'd be afraid he wouldn't be able to get back to me. Or that he would love me more, if we were human…if I could give him children, a family."

"Shouldn't I be worried?" The insecurities spilled forth easily, now that she'd been the first to voice them. "If you had the chance at the life you'd always wanted, with Emmett and all, wouldn't you take it?"

Rosalie shrugged. "If it were possible, maybe. But if I were in Bella's situation, I don't think I would. I wouldn't change any of the circumstances that led to me meeting Emmett. I wouldn't risk letting him spend an eternity alone; I'm sure he would feel the same way. And I'm sure Bella does, too. Besides. Bella's not the type to settle down and have a family. That's too ordinary for her."

I smiled to myself. "It would be remarkable for her to make the safe choice for once."

"You don't _want_ her to stay behind, do you?" Rosalie asked, knowing my tendency toward self-sacrifice.

"No…no, we've come too far for me to go an eternity without her now."

Rosalie clapped a hand to my shoulder in a very Emmett-like gesture. "Give the worrying a rest, Edward. You'll only give yourself a headache."

I watched her go, feeling only moderately better. Her reassurance helped, but how much could it do against the images that continued to flood my memory?

"_I don't know exactly what to make of you, Bella. There are moments like these when I think you might feel as much as I do – and then other times it's as though you're miles away, like you're dreaming of someone else…"_

_Someone else like Jacob. Like her past love. Would she cling to those memories forever, continually dream of someone unworthy of her? I could do better. I could be good for her._

"_Edward, I promise, every part of me is with you."_

_My heart thrummed with hope. "Every part?"_

"_Every part," she said. "Of course, it's not easy to let go of the past completely – but with you…that's where I _want_ to be."_

"_You really mean it?" I pressed, wondering if she were only trying to spare my very obvious feelings for her. "You're not just saying it –"_

_"I wouldn't lie about this," she said, so sincerely that I had to believe…and the joy that came with that belief was powerful._

_I would marry this girl. I was absolutely determined. I would make her so happy that her past love would be nothing but a bad dream, forgotten upon waking…_

What did she mean? I reviewed her words over and over again. Was that doublespeak? Did I imagine a strange point of emphasis every time she addressed my past self, pointing to both of us…or was she completely honest? Was 1918 where she wanted to be? Was she ready to let go of what had happened in this time, of our plans for the future?

I groaned aloud. If only I had answers! I would give anything to speak with Bella, to know for certain what she wanted. Knowing would allow me to decide my next course of action. I could wait patiently if I could be sure she wanted to come back to me. I would wait forever for her. But if she was never coming back…

"_I suppose I should get you home before you fall asleep here on the dance floor," I said to the girl nearly dozing off in my arms. She was adorable in her sleepy state, a little extra pout in her full, red lips. Her dark eyes were incredibly warm as she looked up at me._

_She fell asleep in the car, and I savored the feel of her body against mine, her soft curves and her warm skin under my fingers. I had to keep reminding myself that she was in my arms willingly…I couldn't escape the worry that I was taking advantage or the guilt that I was lusting after her. She deserved better than that…_

_Unwilling to wake her, I carried her inside. She woke, protesting weakly, but I was of no mind to put her down. Carrying her this way, bridal style, with her in that gown made my heart swell with joy and hope. Someday, perhaps, we would be just like this, but I would carry her into our very own home, and into a bedroom we would share… It would be completely proper, in that situation, to remove the dress from her body, to touch her like I so desired…_

_I pushed away the fantasies as soon as I entered her bedroom. Time to be a gentleman, and I would treat her with all the respect she deserved._

_Help me take the pins out of my hair, she'd asked. I couldn't be happier; the desire to run my hands through her thick, silken locks had plagued me since the first time I laid eyes on her. Any excuse to touch, to feel…_

_All the pins were free, but I couldn't stop touching…her hair was just as soft as I'd imagined. I could picture it fanning out beneath her on a pillow; I dreamed of burying my hands in it as I moved over her, kissing her soft mouth, holding her body as close as I had tonight, while we danced…_

"_I'm glad you came with me tonight," I said, finding a patch of skin to caress._

"_I'm glad, too," she said. Her eyes were so innocent. It was time to leave._

_But first…one kiss. A kiss would be acceptable, wouldn't it? She hadn't minded the first time. So I touched my lips to hers, careful not to overstep any invisible lines, and she proved to be temptation incarnate, offering me a heated, open-mouthed kiss…the kind of kiss lovers shared between the sheets…the kind of kiss that would have me waking in the night for some time…_

_I pulled away out of necessity. If I didn't, I would keep pressing for more, and now wasn't the time._

_I left her reluctantly, and I hoped I wasn't imagining things when I saw the same reluctance on her face…_

The memories were fresh enough to torment me, to bring up images of hot nights in Italy and those same passionate kisses…except I had never felt the same freedom as I did in that one excruciating memory. To be so lost in her…what an exquisite feeling…I wanted to experience it anew, as my current self, again and again…

…"_How was the party?" my mother asked, smiling. "You got in rather late."_

"_It was wonderful," I admitted, turning to the open window where I could see children playing in the street. Bella had gone out, to see her friend, the doctor; this time, she refused to let me come. I tried not to let it bother me._

"_I probably danced with her too long," I said, knowing my mother would not settle for the simple answer I'd given. "She was exhausted when we got home. But I couldn't help myself. And I couldn't bring myself to leave her side all night. There will be gossip. But I don't care."_

_I turned back to her, assessing the wry smile on her face. "What? I always knew you'd fall in love with her. It was all over your face the first time I saw you talking to her."_

"_I want to marry her," I said, uneasy. My father wouldn't like it. I wasn't supposed to marry until after law school, and I definitely wasn't supposed to marry a girl with no family, no money, and no connections. But somehow, my father's disapproval didn't scare me as much as it used to. I would risk it for her._

"_Again, I'm not surprised," my mother smiled. "Things will all work out, somehow. Someday. I can see it."_

_I frowned. I wasn't one to doubt my mother, but I definitely didn't like the way she'd phrased that…_

I frowned in the present, too. What did my mother know that I didn't?


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** Only Human (12/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** I hope this clears some things up. It might just confuse you.

* * *

I followed the directions I'd obtained from Edward's mother to the address Carlisle had given me. After spending the previous night awake, thinking of all the possible outcomes of pursuing a relationship with this Edward, and then thinking of all the possible consequences on the future _I'd_ come from, I realized I was in way over my head. I needed a voice of reason, a logical, sensible person to talk this through with. And luckily, the one person who knew my situation was just that.

Carlisle had a classic townhouse near the hospital. I smiled at the tidy brick and neat trim. Esme would have loved it.

The door opened before I could raise my hand to knock, and Carlisle greeted me with a smile.

"I could hear you coming up the walk," he explained. "Come on in."

"Thanks," I murmured, walking past him to enter. The door shut gently behind him.

He gestured to a doorway to the right. "Living room is that way."

The room was light and spacious, just like their house in Forks, but the furnishings were much sparser. There was a comfortable-looking blue sofa, perfect for lounging, and a large coffee table which had books spread across it. One wall featured a large fireplace, another had large windows.

"This is a lovely house," I commented, sitting on one end of the sofa.

"Thank you," he replied, taking the other end, facing me. "What is it that brings you here, Bella?"

Nervously, I smoothed my blouse. "Things are getting…serious, with Edward. I think. Last night he was dropping hints about marriage. And, well, that in itself isn't a bad thing, but…I'm worried. I mean, this is all going so fast and I'm already in Edward's past where I'm not supposed to be – what if I really mess things up and he never gets sick and never becomes a vampire? Because then I would never meet him and I wouldn't make the wish that sent me here, and then none of this would happen in the first place and – and I'm confused."

Carlisle had listened patiently while I rambled and now smiled. "You're definitely in something of a quandary, aren't you? I wish I had some definite answers for you – as you can imagine, however, your situation is rather unprecedented. I've been thinking about it, though, and I have a theory that may help you."

I latched onto that like a lifeboat on the Titanic. "Anything is better than what I've got."

Grinning, Carlisle nodded. "It seems to me that you physically _can't_ do anything that would make it impossible for you to be here. As you said, if you change something here that changes your future in a drastic manner, it prevents you from coming here – thus canceling everything out. And if everything is canceled out, what do you go back to? Does it all just reset? That doesn't seem possible to me."

I frowned. "That makes sense, but…what happens, then? If I try to do something that would change too much, does some invisible force just stop me…?"

Carlisle actually shrugged – I'd never seen him make such an undignified gesture. "Maybe it means that no matter what you do, things are going to turn out the way they're supposed to."

I nodded slowly. "I hope you're right…you have to be right, because I can't…I can't be _stuck_ here. I can't live out my life here, no matter how much I love this time's Edward, because I have to get back to _my_ Edward…I had a chance at eternity with him, and I miss him _so much_, it kills me…"

I was embarrassed to feel tears on my face and I swiped them away hastily.

Carlisle surprised me by placing a hand on my shoulder. "Have _faith_, Bella. Clearly, your love is extraordinary – you wouldn't have made it this far only to lose now."

"You're right," I murmured, rubbing at my face to get it back to some semblance of normalcy. "It's just really hard not to be terrified right now."

"I know," Carlisle said sympathetically. "I can't say how I would react to being – how far into the past is this for you, Bella?"

I bit my lip. "About ninety years," I admitted.

Carlisle actually seemed to struggle with that confession, gaping a bit. "Yes, well. Very difficult for you, then."

I snorted. "You could say that."

"Is there anything more I can do to help?"

"No," I shook my head. "Unless you can follow me around and let me know whenever I do or say something incorrect. I'm muddling through."

Carlisle took that moment to glance out the window. "The sun is setting," he commented. "I'll need to go in to the hospital soon. Will you make it home safely by yourself?"

"It's not far," I reassured him. "I'm sure Edward will be waiting impatiently, too. He wasn't pleased when I wouldn't let him come with me on this visit."

Carlisle grinned. "Afraid he has competition, I'm sure. You'd better go reassure him."

"Right," I rolled my eyes. "Wouldn't want him to be insecure for once."

Carlisle showed me to the door, although there was still too much sunlight for him to walk me out. I wasn't particularly worried. Although I was well aware that Chicago was a dangerous place, even in 1918, human dangers seemed paltry when compared to the supernatural dangers I'd been exposed to.

The walk home was really quite pleasant, watching the sun dropping behind the houses as men, women, and children hurried home for the night. I made it to the corner of the street – my street now, I supposed – without incident.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't make it all the way home without incident.

"Bella!" The voice was jovial, but it still sent chills down my spine. I looked across the street to see Norman Bouchard, smiling as if we were old friends. My face twisted automatically into a grimace before I fought it back.

"Hello, Mr. Bouchard," I said, but I didn't stop walking. I'd seen the look in his eyes before on other men, and I didn't like it one bit.

Norman ran across the street, huffing, and caught up with me easily. I cringed as I heard his breath close to my ear.

"Why so formal, Bella?" he asked as he caught his breath. "Aren't we friends?"

"We're barely acquaintances," I gritted out, walking faster. We were two houses away now. If I could just make it that far…surely he wouldn't try anything in front of the house… "And considering your reputation, I'm not sure I even want to be that."

Suddenly I was jerked back as his arm caught mine. "Come, now, Bella. Surely you haven't been listening to the gossips talk. I'm not so unsavory as they make me seem."

I cast my eyes both ways down the street, hoping to see someone who could help or at least scare him off. "The tales your former roommate has to tell are hardly gossip. Let me go, please."

Norman laughed lightly, his grey eyes glinting. "Oh, Edward. What has he been saying, with his high moral standards? That I'm a no-good rake who takes advantage of poor young women?" He clucked his tongue condescendingly. "What Edward doesn't understand is that _I_ know how to treat a lady." He leaned in closer as he went on, "I know how to make her happy, keep her…satiated. That's something I doubt dear Edward will ever understand."

The young man was distracted enough, singing his own praises, that I was able to wrench my arm away in that moment and take off down the street. Inertia caused him to stumble forward before he could follow after me.

"Bella!" he called after me, his footsteps loud on the sidewalk as he followed. "Don't be angry. I only want to give you what a beautiful woman like yourself deserves."

I snorted. Just steps away now. "I know what you think I deserve, and trust me, I don't want it!" I tossed over my shoulder before I flung open the gate in front of the Masens' home. I slammed it shut just as quickly and raced up to the porch…where Edward stood waiting for me.

Relieved, I threw myself into his arms. It wasn't that I couldn't handle being propositioned; it was just…being propositioned in _1918_. Things like that weren't supposed to be so…out in the open in this time, and when they were, it probably wasn't a good sign.

"Bella!" Norman was still calling after me, rushing up to the gate.

Edward clenched his arm around my waist, and I realized his eyes were furious – much like they'd been that night in Port Angeles, the night he saved my life and I realized I was in love with him.

"Are you all right?" he asked me quietly, his eyes focusing intently on me. I nodded, speechless.

"Edward!" Norman called loudly from the gate. I turned enough to see a Cheshire grin on his face. "Bella and I were just discussing the best way to please a woman. You'd better take good care of her needs, lest she should go looking for satisfaction elsewhere."

"I heard the end of your conversation," Edward ground out. "And it's one you will _not_ be having again."

Norman just laughed as he turned to walk away. "We'll see about that!"

Several moments of tense silence followed his departure. Edward never relaxed his grip on me, and I didn't dream of asking him to.

"I was just about to come looking for you," he finally said. I was relieved to see his shoulders relax. "It was getting dark…I was worried. For good reason, evidently."

I smiled a little, much less afraid now that I was with him. "I don't think you really have to worry. Norman's a pain, but I don't think he'd step too far out of line."

Edward scowled deeply. "You don't know him. He's absolutely relentless – he never stops until he gets what he wants. The challenge only makes it more fun for him."

That reminded me of a much worse kind of creature, another one who loved a challenge. "I've had worse, Edward. Don't worry."

"As if I could just stop worrying about you," Edward rolled his eyes. "You and I both know the kind of trouble you can get up to under normal circumstances. I can only imagine what happens when someone's determined to cause the trouble for you."

"I manage well enough," I huffed, pulling away from him. "Really, Edward, I don't want you stewing over this."

Edward hustled me into the house. "I do _not_ stew," he added defensively. His mother, who was just passing through the hallway, smiled.

"Of course you do, dear. Now let Bella freshen up before dinner."

Edward shot a dark look at his mother as I escaped up the stairs, laughing. Once out of sight, I let my smile fall. What _was_ I going to do about Norman Bouchard?

* * *

_Present time_

The sight of Bella's tear-stained face in Carlisle's memory both made me ache and filled me with joy. I hated anything that caused her sadness, anything that caused her pain…but I knew now. I'd seen her tears, heard the longing in her voice.

"_I hope you're right…you have to be right, because I can't…I can't be __**stuck**__ here. I can't live out my life here, no matter how much I love this time's Edward, because I have to get back to __**my**__ Edward…I had a chance at eternity with him, and I miss him __**so much**__, it kills me…"_

She still loved me; she missed me the way I missed her. That was all I needed to hear. It still wouldn't be easy to watch her dance through the past, to wonder if she could ever come back to me…but knowing that she wanted to return made the wait possible.


	13. Chapter 13

**Title:** Only Human (13/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Rating:** M/NC-17

**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance

**Pairing:** Edward/Bella

**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**A/N:** This started out as kind of a fluff chapter, but it turned into one of the most pivotal chapters in the story. It's a little longer than usual, and I hope it was worth the wait. I really enjoyed writing it.

* * *

The following days passed quickly and quietly. July bled into August with little fanfare. I didn't run into Norman again, much to my relief – I wasn't sure if he'd given up or if he just hadn't had opportunity to harass me. These days, I only left the house with Edward for little things. There were no more big parties, and I had no reason to go out on my own.

We never spoke of our changing relationship, but it was always there in the casual touches and countless hours we spent together. A part of me wanted more; another part was happy to be near him without constantly worrying.

August 3rd was proving to be the hottest day of the year thus far. I was in the parlor, where all the windows were thrown open, reading. Elizabeth was nowhere to be found; I supposed she was finding her own relief from the heat. I was completely unsurprised when Edward wandered in, sleeves up to his elbows, with a miserable expression. He flopped onto the sofa with me, letting his legs dangle over the armrest and dropping his head into my lap. I looked down at his pained expression with amusement.

"It's really not _that_ bad, Edward," I said, marking my page before I set the book aside.

"It is!" he groaned, closing his eyes. I was fascinated by the sweat beading at his temples…my Edward wasn't capable of sweating, I assumed. This one made it look…sexy.

"What do you propose I do about it?" I asked, amused.

"I don't know," he mumbled, thinking on it. His eyes snapped open a moment later, surprising me. "Come swimming with me!"

I blinked. "Swimming? Where?"

"Outside the city," he said eagerly, sitting up so fast he should have been dizzy. "We have a vacation house – we haven't gone this year because my father's been too busy with work – and there's a wonderful creek on the property; it's perfect for swimming."

The idea was appealing. I was sweaty all over – long skirts were such a bother – and the thought of cool water was almost irresistible.

"I don't have anything to wear," I pointed out, though I knew I would lose this battle. "And how will we get there?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "I'll hire a horse and buggy. And we'll swim in our skivvies. No one will see us, and I swear, I'll be the perfect gentleman. Come on, Bella…please?"

My brain was reeling, vacillating between thoughts of the damage I could do with a horse and just what would happen to my thin underwear once they got wet, but all that broke through were his hopeful eyes.

"Oh, all right. I'll go."

He practically glowed with his triumph. "Wait here!" he exclaimed.

I returned to my book, knowing full well that Edward's calm demeanor could hide a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm underneath. Who knew what he was doing now?

Five minutes and three pages later, he returned with a loaded bag over his shoulder. I quirked an eyebrow. "What's all that?"

"Food, towels," he grinned, "You know, supplies. You ready to go?"

I followed him dubiously – I still wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, but I never could refuse Edward something he wanted.

We went several torturously warm blocks to a large set of stables. The sight of all the horses and different carriages was perplexing to me – the archaic car had been within the range of things I understood, but this? I don't know why I was so surprised. Cars were still relatively new to this time, of course, and only the wealthy would be able to afford that kind of transportation.

Still, it was a surreal experience to have Edward help me into the open carriage and join me after paying the owner. Edward directed the horses out of the stables and onto the street with perfect ease; of course, Edward was a perfect driver, no matter the vehicle.

It was certainly a relief to get out of the city. As the houses grew further apart and the brick roads turned to dirt, the open wind of the fields was much more apparent, and incredibly pleasant.

"Does it get this hot in Washington?" Edward asked, his mood clearly improved from earlier.

"No," I smiled, suddenly missing the cool dampness of home, "The sun isn't out enough. It rains too much."

"Sounds dreary," Edward commented.

"I used to think so, too," I laughed, remembering my unhappy childhood visits. "But it grows on you."

"You miss it, don't you?" he said, casting an appraising eye on my expression.

I framed my answer carefully. "I miss the life I had, before my parents died." _Before I went back in time_. "I miss having a home and a family. But my geographical location isn't so important to me."

Edward didn't smile again; instead his eyes were serious, and they were speaking volumes. "You know your home can be with us, right?" he said, leaning closer. "You never have to be alone again. I would – "

I placed my hand over his nearest one which held the reins. "Thank you," I said, cutting off anything he might be ready to say that could take this conversation well out of my comfort zone. "I appreciate that."

I knew my answer didn't satisfy him, but he didn't say anything more. We rode in silence, and I looked out across the fields – these were farmed fields, growing high plants that I didn't recognize. It appeared to be some kind of grain. The golden stalks waved in the wind, and it was incredibly peaceful. Not a soul was around; I imagined it was too hot for many people to stir. It was like floating along in a dream.

Edward's voice shocked me out of my trance. He'd called a command to the two horses, and we made a left turn onto a narrower, tree-lined road. It gave me a heady sense of deja-vu.

"That wasn't far," I remarked. The entire journey had taken an hour at most. It would be much shorter with a motorized engine.

"My father doesn't like to be too far from the city. He has some demanding clients that he needs to stay close to."

The trees split off to reveal a wide clearing, surrounded by the woods. In the center of the clearing sat the massive house, a beautiful two-story Victorian, complete with a wrap-around porch. Judging by the number of windows, I would guess that the second story held at least 5 bedrooms. It looked like a place the Cullens might have lived…I wonder if Edward had ever realized how little his life had changed.

"What do you think?" he asked beside me, taking in my reaction. I smiled.

"It's enchanting," I smiled. "Do you often have guests here?"

"Yes, my mother likes to entertain. Of course, she'd like it better if she had better people to entertain, but beggars can't be choosers, right?"

I shrugged, but he didn't see – he had already hopped down and was coming around to my side to help me out. He lifted me easily out of the carriage and turned to the horses. I watched with fascination as he easily unhitched them and tied them up to the porch.

"There's a stable in the back still, but I think it's locked up," he explained, finishing. "Normally we'd send servants ahead to prepare the place."

I nodded my understanding as if this were all very normal. Edward grabbed the parcel he'd brought along and took me by the hand, leading me around the back of the house.

"The creek is a little ways out, in the woods," he told me, the excitement in his voice growing. "I swam there all the time as a boy, although not so much of late. It seemed too undignified."

I laughed. "And it's not too undignified for you now?"

He turned to me with his broad, crooked smile. "I don't mind being undignified with you. I can't help feeling as though…as though you would accept me unconditionally."

"I would," I confessed, smiling at his shy glance. "And you would do the same, wouldn't you?"

"Without question," he replied, leading me carefully through the trees. He was very conscious of the ground beneath us, helping me through any unsure footing and swatting foliage out of the way as we followed the sound of running water. Again, there was the sense of deja-vu as I remembered another day when Edward had led me through the forests. A sense of foreboding overtook me. This day would be as pivotal to our relationship as that day in the meadow had been. I wouldn't reveal my secrets – I couldn't afford to – but I might very well reveal my feelings. And that would change everything.

"Here we are," Edward said as the creek came into view. The sunlight filtered down through the shade of the trees, catching the water in dazzling sparkles and prisms of light. The stream was several feet wide but didn't appear too deep. Hopefully I would be safe in such shallow water, but I was a marvel when it came to accidents.

I glanced over at Edward to find that he'd already unhooked his suspenders and was stripping off his shirt. My brain told me to look away, but my eyes didn't follow, and he caught me staring.

"I'll keep my back turned until you're in the water," he promised, oblivious, as he unbuttoned his pants. I was too numb to speak, so I turned around and started unbuttoning my dress. Edward splashed into the water as I slid it off. I swung it over a tree branch to keep it out of the mud and tentatively turned to the water. This was a bad idea. My chemise and underwear would be fairly transparent once they were wet, and how would Edward react to that?

Did I really matter? This was Edward, and I was Bella. The thing building between us was unstoppable; it didn't care for propriety. I sighed and jumped in after him.

The water was shockingly cold for such a hot day, and I was still adjusting as I surfaced, sputtering. Edward was waiting to splash me, flashing an absolutely devilish grin. When I recovered from my surprise, I splashed back, scowling.

"That's not very gentlemanly," I complained. "You could at least have given me time to recover."

He flicked another stream of water in my direction, laughing. "Being a gentleman all the time isn't much fun."

Playing in the water with Edward was the easiest, most natural thing in the world. He seemed to delight in tormenting me – grabbing me from under the water, sneaking up on me, chasing my downstream. I humored him, because the grin on his face delighted _me_ so much. I wanted to keep him smiling forever. I _would_, I promised myself.

After what felt like hours, we both grew tired of the games and relaxed in the cool water. The sun was no longer directly overhead, starting to drift down toward the tree line. I knew the day would have to end soon, and I didn't want it to. I could stay in this enchanted spot with Edward for days and never long for anything else.

He swam up beside me, and I could tell by the same reluctant look on his face that he'd been having similar thoughts.

"We probably shouldn't stay in much longer," he said, grasping one of my pruny hands. "I wouldn't want you to catch cold."

"Right," I sighed. I didn't think there was much chance of that, but arguing probably wouldn't do me much good. "We should do this again. It was fun."

Edward's answering smile was bright. "It was; I haven't felt so carefree in years."

With a lingering grin for me, he finally turned and clambered out of the stream. I was fascinated by the sight of water streaming down his leanly-muscled back. He turned, and my distraction shifted to the droplets on his chest, following gravity's intended course down his torso, to the undergarments that clung to his skin…and left absolutely _nothing_ to the imagination…

I tore my eyes away, heat searing my face. He pretended not to notice and offered his hand to help me up the slippery bank.

I could tell the exact moment when Edward realized just how much of me he could see. His hand tightened around mine and his neck flushed as his eyes skirted down my body. He looked away immediately, but I knew the damage had been done.

Unfortunately, his attempts not to look at me distracted him from getting me out of the water safely. My foot gave way against the muddy slope, and I went toppling forward into Edward, taking us both to the ground.

We both remained absolutely still while we recovered from the shock, but the growing awareness between us was undeniable. Our chests heaved like some scene from a smutty romance novel, our breathing ragged. I could feel every detail of his body under mine, and I knew he must feel mine, too. There was no way he didn't feel my nipples hardening against his chest or the placement of my hips over his growing hardness.

"_Bella…_" The sound was strangled, harsh with lack of breath, and it excited me.

Abruptly, he flipped us over, pressing me into the grass. I caught the briefest flash of fire in his eyes before his lips crashed down to mine, hot and passionate and frantic. This was a kiss of utter abandon, unrestrained – his tongue and teeth went where they would, ravaging my mouth, bruising my lips with his force. The only thing I could ask for in that moment was that he not stop.

His mouth moved to my neck, suckling, licking up the trails of water there. All the while, his hands wandered over my body – never quite daring enough to cross any lines, but tracing over my curves worshipfully. I wondered if he even noticed that my legs had fallen open or that his hips were rocking incessantly into mine. Regardless, I was desperately turned on, and if I didn't get some kind of release, I might burst.

My fingers tangled in his wet hair and I moaned his name. For some reason, that broke the spell. He jerked away from me as quickly as he'd launched himself upon me. I watched as he shook his head furiously and then buried it in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I can't," he said quietly, refusing to look at me. I sat up and arranged myself into something more presentable, feeling the all too familiar disappointment and rejection that I'd known before…before I'd taken that step with Edward in my time.

"Why?" I croaked. I had a feeling I knew, but that didn't ease the ache my body felt for him.

His eyes met mine with light flickering through them just like the green canopy above us, imploring me to understand. "I love you too much, Bella. I want to do right by you."

I swallowed heavily. There it was, strewn out between us like the contents of an overturned handbag. How could I refuse to return his offering?

I reached out to touch the tense line of his jaw, savoring the tantalizingly smooth skin. "I love you, Edward."

I could _feel_ the strain leave his body as he moved closer, close enough to clutch my hands in his as he shone with hope and excitement. "Say you'll wait for me, Bella," he pleaded, allowing no chance of escape. "I'm going to quit school, get a job – I'm going to establish myself so I can take care of you. Say you'll be there, Bella, please. Say you'll marry me one day."

I stared at him, stunned by the turn of events and yet completely enamored. Here was _that boy_ again, the one he had told me about – the one who would throw away every plan he'd ever made to secure our future together. I didn't know what consequences my answer would have, but I knew I had to trust Carlisle's advice, to have faith – and I knew I could never, ever say the words that would break Edward's heart.

"Yes. Yes, I _will_ marry you one day."

The statement was my one way of telling him the truth – that, though it might be impossible for me to marry him in this time, I would be waiting for him in the future, and I would try my hardest to give him everything he'd ever wanted.

With his boyish enthusiasm, he took my face between his hands and kissed me soundly. He grinned from ear to ear as he pulled away. "Oh, Bella. You've made me so happy."

"I'm happy, too," I said honestly; I was happy to see him happy, and I felt convinced that I'd done the right thing.

"Let's stay here tonight," he suggested, flopping back into the grass. "My mother knows where we are, and I don't have to have the horses back until morning."

I couldn't resist the opportunity to tease him. "I thought you were doing right by me? Being a gentleman?"

His expression was at once horrified and scandalized. "I didn't mean – of course I won't – "

I laughed and poked him in the side. "Relax, I was just having fun at your expense. I know just how virtuous you are."

Edward blushed, smiling sheepishly. "I'm just not ready to share you with the rest of the world yet."

"Perfectly understandable," I agreed, lying back beside him. "I never want to share you. Although this really is terribly improper. I wouldn't want your parents to get the wrong idea."

Edward shook his head, folding my hand in his. "They know better."

We lay in the grass late into the afternoon, letting the sun dry us. Eventually we dressed and went into the empty house, courtesy of the spare key buried in a flower pot. We nibbled at the bundle of food he'd brought with us in perfect contentment, and by the time darkness fell, we were both so tired from the day's activities and emotions that we collapsed into a bed together. Edward was asleep within seconds, and I remained awake a few minutes longer, listening to his even breathing and his heart beating under my ear.

If this was anything close to what my Edward had felt in the face of my humanity, I think I finally understood.


	14. Chapter 14

**Title:** Only Human (14/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.  
**A/N:** We're just moving right along now.

* * *

Our engagement remained our little secret for nearly two weeks afterward. We weren't intentionally hiding it, exactly, but Edward confided in me – after a great deal of pestering – that his father would not be pleased.

"It's not you, not at all," he said immediately, trying to reassure me. "My father has had it in his head since I was born that I would go to a great school and become a lawyer like him. Until now, there was nothing more important than my parents' approval, so I never argued. I don't think he'll take it well…but now that I know what I want, nothing is going to stop me."

"You know I would wait, right? If you wanted to go to school? I don't want to cause any problems in your family –"

Edward merely laughed and kissed me. "I appreciate that, but I can't wait that long for you. Don't worry about my father; I'll handle him. And my mother will be thrilled."

I had no doubt that his mother would be happy, if only for the fact that Edward had given up his notions of going off to war on some heroic adventure. Every day, she reported the news dutifully – with growing relief. The Allies had just won a long battle against the Germans, the Second Battle of the Marne, if I remembered my history lessons correctly. Now they had launched an offensive. The tides of the war did very much seem to be turning, which seemed to comfort everyone. Only I'd been privileged with the knowledge that the war would end in November.

Things remained very much the same as they always had during this time, otherwise. I still spent most of my time with Edward, though I tried to help Elizabeth around the house as much as possible – not an easy task, considering they had a maid and a cook, but I tried. Edward found more and more excuses for us to sneak off places alone, mostly for the sake of stealing heated kisses. Between Edward and the ridiculous Midwestern humidity, my head was constantly reeling.

Only in mid-August, when Edward's father mentioned at dinner that he ought to be packing to return to school, did things finally start to go awry.

"You know they want you up there a week before term starts. That doesn't leave you much time," he went on, oblivious to my suddenly white face and Edward having frozen in place.

Edward swallowed the bite he'd been chewing on with difficultly and met my eyes briefly before answering.

"Actually, Father, about that…I've decided I don't want to return to school."

I could see Edward Sr.'s jaw clenched with anger and Edward bracing himself for confrontation, but I felt suddenly like a strange spectator as a horrifying realization came over me.

Edward would be in Chicago when the epidemic hit because of _me_.

If he went off to boarding school like he was supposed to, he wouldn't be in the city. He might never catch the disease. He wouldn't be taken to Carlisle's hospital. He wouldn't be changed.

Edward would remain human…have the life he always wanted…

I was paralyzed with the terrifying, sickening knowledge that the future hung in the balance. My instincts flew in a thousand different directions. On one side was the impulse to protect Edward at all costs…on the other was the need to protect my future at all costs. What could I do?

"Maybe we should discuss this in my office," I heard Mr. Masen say as he stood up from the table, silverware clattering down against his plate.

Edward got up silently to follow. I wouldn't have known he was nervous at all if he hadn't given my hand a tight squeeze before he followed his father out of the room.

"Don't worry," Elizabeth said, glancing through her eyelashes at me. My face must have tipped her off to my distress. "They're just being a father and son."

I nodded weakly. My mind was still reeling, and I needed to be alone to think. I quickly excused myself from the table and hurried up to my room. What I really wanted was to talk to someone – Carlisle, perhaps – but it was much too late to go out alone. The last thing I wanted now was another run-in with the likes of Norman Bouchard.

What was I supposed to do? What would happen if I convinced Edward to leave Chicago? He might avoid the disease altogether…we might marry and have children and grow old…but then he would be dead before I ever had the chance to meet him…and then how would I make the wish that sent me here? And what was the guarantee that it would work out that way? I might spare Edward from the epidemic in Chicago, only for him to contract it elsewhere…away from Carlisle, who could save him…

How could I risk this Edward's fate and my future Edward's? Maybe I had to let things play out according to the story I knew. But if I stood by and did nothing when I knew what was coming, was that the same as condemning Edward to the damnation I knew he'd always cursed? What would _he_ want?

Maybe it really was impossible for me to change anything. Anything that kept Edward from becoming a vampire would change my future in a way that would prevent me from ever being in the past. If I didn't meet Edward in 2005, I certainly wouldn't make a wish on a birthday cake in 2006 that would send me to 1918.

And who was to say I could even convince Edward to leave Chicago? He was possibly more stubborn than I was.

No matter what I did, disastrous consequences were possible. Whether I destroyed my future, or things stayed exactly the same and I watched Edward go through hell…it was going to hurt.

_Maybe it means that no matter what you do, things are going to turn out the way they're supposed to,_ Carlisle's voice echoed in my head. And maybe he was right. Maybe there was no way for me to change things from their intended course, and maybe I shouldn't try.

A soft knock sounded on my door, the unmistakable signature of Edward. "Come in," I called.

He did come in, closing the door softly behind him, and then sprawled out wearily beside me on my bed like it was an old habit. It _was_ becoming a habit, I realized, taking in the familiar sight of him throwing his arm over his eyes, like he did when he'd just been through an exasperating ordeal.

"What happened?" I asked, reaching down to comb my fingers through his hair. What had always astounded me was that his hair was just as soft as a vampire as it was now, as a human. Only the warmth exuding from his scalp was different.

Edward dropped his arm and smiled up at me. "It went well enough. He's not making me return to school, but he insists I try out a job at a law firm, hoping I'll change my mind. It's fine; I was going to get a job anyway. Now I know where I'll be working."

I frowned at his forced smile. "But it isn't what you want."

His response was to take my hand away from his hair and kiss the back of it. My heart stumbled in my chest, as clumsy as I was. "Don't worry about that, Bella. Maybe it isn't what I want to be doing, but I only have to do it long enough to appease my father. And as long as I can see your face at the end of the day, I don't care what I'm doing."

I could only sigh a little dreamily and lean down to brush my lips against his. A pronouncement like that could only be rewarded with a kiss.

He grinned as I pulled away, grasping my hand tightly. "See, that's all I need. You have no idea how relieved I am. I'm an abominable coward sometimes, you know – I'd been putting off that conversation for so long because I was terrified he would make me leave." His face had fallen, his eyes clouding with something I recognized, that sense of dread and fear that went along with needing someone so much that one lived in fear of having that person taken away.

"We could have run away together if he had," I offered, half-joking, trying to ease the tension. "If you could find a way to bring home the bacon, I could cook it."

He chuckled. "I suppose I was worried for nothing. Silly of me. I think I could manage anything, as long as you were with me."

I smiled back as I realized I was thinking about this entirely the wrong way. Edward was right. We were _meant_ to be together, and staying together was our best bet. It wouldn't help to try to send Edward away. I could only stand by his side and try to make him happy for as long as I had with him.

"What's that smile for?" he asked, reaching up to brush his fingers along my jaw.

"For you," I replied simply.

"Hmm. I could get used to that," he teased, taking my hand again. I enjoyed the way he played idly with my fingers – unthinking, unafraid of breaking me. When I was a vampire…but now wasn't the time for that thought. He would see it on my face, and I didn't want him to think there was a single part of me that wasn't with him.

"Bella…" Edward started tentatively, although a hint of slyness played about his eyes, "Would you be terribly offended if I tried to sneak into your room tonight?"

I laughed aloud, wondering what was going on in his head. "Don't you think that would cause a scandal?"

Smiling softly, he replied, "I think I would risk it for the opportunity to hold you in my arms. Just to sleep, I promise."

I scooted down to lie beside him, facing him. "Just sleep? I don't know about that. I couldn't go without at least a kiss or two."

Edward faked a sigh of exasperation. "If that's the price I have to pay…I guess I'll give you want you want."

I grinned. "See you in a few hours, then?"

"Definitely," he promised, leaning in to kiss me quickly. I watched him go with a smile; it was easy to get caught up in watching him, studying the way he moved, the life in his every step.

True to his word, Edward returned after his parents had gone to sleep. He was adorably boyish in his nightshirt and shorts as he slipped under the blankets beside me. I gladly wound my legs with his as he wriggled closer, snaking an arm around my waist.

"You're warm," he sighed happily, nuzzling his nose into my hair at my shoulder.

"Your feet are cold," I replied, still smiling. They weren't nearly as cold as I was used to.

"Soon we'll be able to do this every night," he said; I couldn't see his face, but I could feel him smiling.

"We'll be able to do a bit more than that," I pointed out, satisfied when he tensed against me.

"Bella!"

"Sorry," I choked back a laugh, squeezing his arm in apology. "You're cute when you're flustered."

"Oh, is that so?" he growled playfully as he pinned me beneath him. "I think it would be much cuter if _you_ were the flustered one."

"Do you think you can fluster me?" I snickered, even though I had a feeling he would make me eat my words. Edward had no greater talent in life than charming me into submission, in any time.

"I know I can," he said, his warm breath drifting over my face. My lips tingled as I met his eyes, glinting blackly in the darkness, sparked only with moonlight. It was almost like having my vampire back, seeing that predatory look on his face with that smug smile.

"Okay," I relented, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You win."

He smiled his triumph and happily kissed me breathless.


	15. Chapter 15

**Title:** Only Human (15/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.  
**A/N:** A whole chapter of vampire!Edward.

* * *

_The fear was clear in Bella's eyes as she flew into my arms. I couldn't believe I had let this happen. I should never have let her go out alone, should never have introduced her to Norman. To my knowledge, he'd never forced himself upon a woman, but I wouldn't put him past trying. He was never getting his hands on my Bella, never. Not if I had to watch her every second of the day…_

I paced restlessly through the trees that I hadn't left since Bella had disappeared hours ago. From my count, a week had passed in 1918…I didn't know why the days seemed to pass in hours for me, but it wasn't especially comforting. It meant that every minute was full of possible new dangers for Bella…and I couldn't do a thing about them.

My past self loved her as much as I did, that was for certain – even the memories of the emotions were enough to leave me breathless at times. I would defend her furiously…but I was human in that time, just as she was, and we were both so vulnerable. How could I protect her when I was so weak? And the worst part was that the human version of me was like all humans – naïve and in denial. I didn't believe anything could happen to me, I believed I was strong enough – and I was so wrong.

"_Edward, dear, you can't keep Bella locked in the house forever," my mother scolded me, shooing me down the stairs. "Take her out, entertain her."_

_I stopped dead outside the parlor, watching her. She was reading a book, trying to salvage what little breeze would come through the windows. I watched the line of sweat trickle down her smooth neck; the sight swamped me with heat, and suddenly I was in desperate need of relief…_

I had to laugh at myself, overwhelmed by typical human hormones. I'd never been interested in a girl that way before, and I was growing more confused by the day. The naivety was…refreshing, in a way.

Swimming. I snorted. I'd disguised it to my mother as a way to entertain Bella, like she'd wanted, but really, it was an excuse to see her half-naked, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not. It worked, too, but of course it would. Bella had never been one for holding back, even by the constraints of her time…she could do all sorts of damage in mine.

Goodness, would she go that far with my past self? I buried my face in my hands and shook my head. Of course she would, if I wanted it. And I definitely wanted it. I wasn't sure how I felt about that – of course, I could feel my past self's intense desire for her, the need for some gratification – but I wasn't sure how I could watch Bella with my past self in an act so intimate…

"These are _your_ memories," I reminded myself aloud, trying to drill it into my head. "She's with you so it's ridiculous to be jealous."

"No shit, Sherlock," Emmett's voice called from the house. I growled in frustration; how had I not realized how loud I was being?

I sighed to myself and slumped down next to my usual tree. Perhaps I should just give up on processing all this and give in to my role as a spectator. It wasn't as if I could actually change anything that was occurring in the past, so I might as well try to stay calm about it all, if not enjoy it.

_I could feel my eyes widening as she came out of the water. Her cotton shift clung like a second skin to her body, outlining the perfect curves of her breasts and hips. I could see clearly the dark stains of her nipples, the patch of hair between her legs. She might as well have been naked – not that I would have been complaining if she were._

_I jerked my eyes away from her, but the damage had been done. I would never, ever be able to erase that image from my mind. Bella was…perfect. Everything a woman ought to be – soft and curvy and lush. My mind went without permission to the thought of our naked bodies pressing together, how her warm, downy skin would feel against mine…_

_In the midst of this very thought, I felt Bella barreling into me, and then suddenly I was on the ground, with all of her pressed against me, just like I'd been dreaming of._

_It was all too much to bear. Looking into her eyes, I could see exactly what I wanted – desire. Our bare legs were tangled together; her hands rested on my chest. There was a subtle shift of her body with every breath she took, and that little friction drove me mad. And her hips were dangerously hot over mine. If we were naked, it would take only a small movement to…_

"_Bella," I groaned, suddenly in motion. This was pure instinct that drove me to pin her beneath me and crush my mouth to hers; I didn't think I could stop myself. Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind – her soft lips responded urgently while her fingers dug into my scalp and her body surged upward to meet mine. I moaned helplessly as our tongues tangled. Nothing, nothing had ever felt _this_ good._

_I followed a rivulet of water down her neck with my tongue, so reminiscent of the line of sweat that had captivated me earlier. My hands fell over her hips and her thighs, caressing everywhere I could, though I did not dare to touch the places that tempted me most – her soft breasts or the heated place between her legs that my hips rocked compulsively into…_

"_Edward!" she moaned, clutching me tighter, and suddenly everything came into sharp focus._

_This was Bella, my Bella, and I was rolling around with her on the ground like some kind of animal. She deserved better. I had to give her better._

_She gave a whine of protest, but I couldn't look at her until I got myself under control. "I'm sorry, Bella, I can't," I told her, wishing I could marry her this instant and make her mine again and again._

"_Why?" Her voice was hurt, and I mentally kicked myself. I should have never taken things so far._

"_I love you too much, Bella. I want to do right by you."_

_Her eyes were wide, as deep and limitless as the night sky, while she stared back at me. I waited breathless, terrified. Surely I hadn't misunderstood everything between us?_

_Her hand reached out to my face, soothing away my fears. "I love you, Edward."_

_My chest felt too full of happiness; it threatened to burst. Suddenly a bright and beautiful future stretched out before me in a million colorful possibilities, and I was helpless not to reach for it. I clutched her hands as if that would keep her here with me forever._

"_Say you'll wait for me, Bella," I begged, watching her startled face carefully for a reaction. "I'm going to quit school, get a job – I'm going to establish myself so I can take care of you. Say you'll be there, Bella, please. Say you'll marry me one day."_

_If the wait for her first answer was difficult, the wait for this one was excruciating._

"_Yes. Yes, I _will_ marry you one day."_

I stared, stunned, into the dark forest, struggling to fit the memory into place. Eventually, my emotions settled into an unexpected feeling of gratitude. Bella was doing all this because she loved me – then and now. I knew how much it had cost her to marry me in our time, to give away everything she'd ever expected to have. Now she was giving me what I'd always wanted, back in the time when it meant the most. Though it couldn't last – and she must know that – she was giving my past self all the happiness possible before my life turned forever toward the darkness. She was giving me the human life I'd always wanted…and I was thankful.

Alice convinced me to take a break from my "memory-stalking", as she called it, to hunt. I hadn't fed since halfway through the honeymoon when we'd stopped in Romania…Bella thought it would be funny to visit the land of Dracula. I smiled at the memory of her wearing those ridiculous plastic fangs they sold to tourists.

"_If that's what you'll look like as a vampire, I think we need to reconsider."_

_She moved to punch me in the shoulder and then pulled back, rethinking. "I knew I should have left you at the altar," she teased._

"_Silly, it wouldn't have worked. I would have caught up with you in no time and dragged you back."_

I sighed to myself, running aimlessly without paying much attention to the hunt. When I let myself think freely, it became all too apparent how much I really _missed_ Bella. She hadn't yet been gone for twenty-four hours, but it felt like forever with the new memories constantly flying through my head. How many more hours until she was with me again?

I pushed my body as fast as it would go, running well into the morning. When I finally stopped, I was hours from home. I took the opportunity to hunt, to shut down everything but my instincts. It was a welcome reprieve. And when I returned to my senses, I tried to keep ignoring the memories as I ran back – but they flitted over my mind like little hummingbirds, always present in my subconscious. It was okay; the past was being rather uneventful.

When I made it home, I realized the exercise had helped. My mind felt less cluttered; I could face the past again.

… "_You need a ring," I said, surveying her unadorned left hand where I held it in mine. Her fingers curled around my hand, squeezing lightly._

_Bella shook her head, smiling, but it was a faraway smile, as if remembering something that amused her, something which I was not privy to. "That's not important."_

"_Of course it is," I frowned. "I want the whole world to know you're mine."_

"I_ know I'm yours," Bella said, kissing me softly. "That's all that matters." …

* * *

_

… "_Tell me again."_

_She laughed. "I love you."_

"_That's all I'll ever need." …

* * *

_

… "_You've asked her, haven't you?" My mother's eyes watched me knowingly._

"_Yes. Of course I have. How could I risk letting her slip away from me?"_

"_Your father won't like it. You know he has plans for you."_

"_Father doesn't have to like it. He's not the one who has to live his plans. What do _you_ think about it?"_

_Elizabeth Masen smiled softly. "I think she's exactly what you need. I'm happy for you. But I don't envy you breaking the news to your father." …

* * *

_

… "_Edward, what in heaven's name has gotten into you? Quitting school? What about university, law school? Just what do you think you're going to do with your life without an education of some sort? Work in a factory?"_

_My father paced furiously behind his desk as he spoke. I sat in the chair on the other side of it, waiting for him to finish._

"_I'll work wherever I have to," I replied. "Father…I don't know exactly what I want to do. But I'm fairly certain I don't want to become a lawyer. And I know for a fact that I don't want to wait for years to marry Bella."_

_My father finally stopped in his tracks, staring at me in disbelief. "You…intend to marry her?"_

"_I've asked her, and she's accepted. You're not opposed, are you? I thought you liked her."_

_He rubbed his forehead wearily. "I do like her. But that doesn't change the fact that she has no family, nothing to her name –"_

"_That's hardly her fault," I snapped._

"_No, no, of course it's not, it's just…you're young, Edward. You have no idea the kind of challenges life can bring. You should think carefully about how well-equipped you are to meet those challenges, about the kind of woman you want at your side."_

"_But I have," I argued. "I never thought about those things until she came along and made me want to take my life seriously instead of merely going along with the established plan."_

_My father dropped into his desk chair, a sure sign of concession. "You can be as stubborn as your mother when you set your mind to it, so I'm not going to bother arguing with you any longer. But will you at least compromise with me?"_

"_Maybe," I said warily, watching my father tap his fingers on the dark wood of his desk. He only did that when he was plotting something._

"_Don't make any final decisions right now. Try working in a law firm, see if you like it. I'm sure one of my friends would be happy to employ you as some sort of clerk. You might find you like it. And if you do, you can go back to school."_

"_And what about Bella?" I asked. She was my primary concern; everything else was peripheral._

"_Bella can stay here as long as she likes, of course. We won't send her out on the streets."_

"_Okay," I sighed, relieved. "I agree to your compromise."_

I sat stunned in silence. I'd always wondered what I was doing in Chicago in September of 1918 when I should have been in school. I'd never been able to find an answer in my memories…and now I knew. I was there for Bella.

In the end, I could only laugh. I wondered if she realized she was making our destiny with every second she spent in the past.


	16. Chapter 16

**Title:** Only Human (16/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

As September rolled in, Edward finally found employment. It took awhile – clerks came much cheaper than Edward was willing to settle for as wages, and in the end, it took Edward's father calling in a few favors and granting a few more for someone to offer Edward a job.

I could tell he wasn't pleased with the situation at all. Though he never said as much, I knew he chafed at the idea of owing anybody anything. He was already bristling at having to ride his father's coattails.

"…And the worst part," he continued to rant as I watched him fiddle with his tie on his first morning on the job, "is that I'm not making nearly as much as I could doing something else, and yet I have to be grateful for 'the opportunity' because it's _only a favor_."

I struggled valiantly to keep a straight face, because he could see me in the mirror, sitting on the bed behind him – but eventually he noticed me shaking with laughter and scowled – which only made me laugh harder.

"Oh, Edward." I stood and went to him, smoothing down his vest. "It's just a job, remember? It's only until you've satisfied your father, not forever. And most importantly, _I'll wait for you_. You don't have to make all the money in the world so you can rush me to the altar. I'll still be here."

My pep talk had the desired effect – Edward's mouth twitched in his involuntary smile, and I felt his shoulders relax under my hands.

"Maybe you can wait," he said, "but I'm not sure _I_ can."

"You'll just have to remember that patience is a virtue," I said, stretching up on my toes to kiss him. "And I am, after all, the guardian of your virtue. You'd best listen to me."

Edward snorted, though he held our bodies close together. "I'm beginning to think that you're the lousiest possible guardian of my virtue I could have found. I find myself nearly compromised at every turn."

"Pot, kettle," I said succinctly, pointing to him and myself in turn. "Now, I believe you have approximately twenty minutes. You'd better get moving."

He reluctantly moved away and pulled his jacket over his shoulders. Dressed up like a proper businessman, he did look devastatingly handsome. His navy blue jacket and trousers stood out in perfect contrast to his coppery hair; a striped vest emphasized his lean, solid torso; and the tie was like a ribbon on the beautiful package waiting to be opened. I was no more keen on his leaving than he was.

"I'll see you when I get home," he sighed, kissing me one last time.

"Looking forward to it," I said as I followed him down to the front door. He shot me a grin over his shoulder before he went out into the street.

While the men were gone, Elizabeth tried to teach me to knit. It was incredibly domestic, and I wasn't sure I really liked it. I'd never been very good at domestication.

"Don't worry, it didn't come naturally to me, either," Elizabeth said, struggling not to laugh at the tangled mess I'd made of my yarn. Somehow I'd formed a pile of knots in my lap instead of a row of stitches like I was supposed to have.

"I've never been much good at this sort of thing," I sighed, flexing my tired fingers that had spent hours clutching a needle. "You know, crafty things. All I can really do is cook."

"Well, that's the important one," Elizabeth laughed. "Edward won't mind that you can't darn his socks if he's well-fed."

I sputtered in my shock, to which she smiled gently. "Yes, Bella, I know. Edward told me he wanted to marry you – but even if he hadn't, I would have known. I can read my son like an open book. And that's why I know that you're exactly what he needs. I'm glad to know he'll have you looking after him."

My throat felt too tight, making it hard to breathe. Would she feel the same way if she knew what I was condemning Edward to by letting him remain in the city? "I hope – I hope I can," I finally said, picking at my pile of failed knitting.

"I know you will," Elizabeth replied, patting my hand. "I don't so much mean physically…he is a boy, so I doubt he would ever forget to eat. But he gets so lost in his own head sometimes that he loses sight of the bigger picture. And I think you're just the girl to make him see."

My smile was a little watery, but I couldn't help it. This woman was better than I'd ever dreamed Edward's mother could be, and she was being so kind to me. It would be so very painful to say goodbye to her. "Thank you, so much. For everything."

"There's nothing to thank me for," Elizabeth said. She reached out and picked up my tortured project. "I think we'd better give up on this one."

I agreed wholeheartedly.

* * *

When Edward came home, the expression on his face suggested he'd just returned from a war zone. He was exhausted, and a little grouchy to boot. I didn't really mind; compared to one of _my_ Edward's moods, this Edward was just plain cute.

Edward didn't ask permission before sneaking into my room that night, and I couldn't blame him. It would be ridiculous, given his obvious weariness and the scowl on his face, to accuse him of any impure intentions.

"Was it really so bad?" I asked him as he dropped his head onto my shoulder. I ran my fingers aimlessly through his hair; it always relaxed him.

"I suppose it could be much worse," Edward sighed. "I shouldn't complain. But the work is so _tedious_, and I'm always running errands and taking orders, it seems. I'd rather be doing manual labor than wasting my mental power on this nonsense."

I snorted. "What kind of law is it?"

"Property," Edward said distastefully. "Dreadfully dull. I should have demanded something in criminal law. At least there would be some good stories there."

"You _would_ make a terribly self-righteous prosecutor," I laughed, imagining Edward playing a role on _Law and Order_. No jury would stand a chance against his persuasive powers.

"I would argue, but I'm too tired," Edward sighed, burying his face in my neck. "Can't I just hide in your bed forever?"

"You could, but I have a feeling someone would think to look for you here. Especially if I stayed with you."

"Hmm…" He was drifting off now. I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms tightly around him; the need to protect him, to care for him, surged strongly within me. He was so vulnerable, in the human ways and in the ways that plagued my Edward, too, though he tried much harder to hide them. It occurred to me that I'd never done as much as I could to protect my Edward – not from external threats, but from himself. If I got back…_when_ I got back, that would change. I would take care of him like he needed, like he deserved.

* * *

The days flew by as I fell into an easy routine. Edward kissed me goodbye every morning and went to work. I would do anything and everything I could to help around the house – as many times as Elizabeth insisted it wasn't necessary, and as many times as Edward said his father had nothing against me, I still felt like a burden, and I didn't want to give any one of them any reason to change their minds about me. So I helped with the cooking and the cleaning, even though Elizabeth continually tried to convince me that the servants could handle it. I ran errands, helped in the garden, and even continued to struggle with sewing and knitting, though I didn't improve much.

Today was September 12th. A day before my birthday, not that my birthday really meant anything in this time. It had only been a couple months since I'd celebrated my birthday in _my_ time. I still didn't know why my wish had meant sending me to July 19th, of all days, but I'd given up on questioning it.

I was off to the fabric shop in a quest for thread. The streets were packed today; it was the coolest day since I'd arrived. I couldn't blame them for wanting to get out.

Inside the store, all was quiet. There were two other women shopping together, browsing through delicate silks. I made my way to the rolls of thread shelved on the other side of the store, browsing through the many different colors. I wasn't sure what to get.

I was debating between two shades of yellow to match the fabric it would be used on when I felt the distinct chill of eyes watching me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the last person I wanted to run into today approaching with a smile that was nothing less than feral.

"Bella, I was beginning to despair of ever seeing you again," Norman said, sidling up beside me. I took a step back; he made my skin crawl unpleasantly.

"I've been busy with Edward," I said pointedly, crossing my arms protectively over my chest.

"Ah, yes, Edward," Normal smiled darkly. "I heard he decided to quit school, that he's taken a _clerk_ job. How undignified. Don't you want someone more refined? A girl like you deserves a real man."

I snorted in his sneering face. "I have a real man, thanks. Speaking of, shouldn't you be off at school right now, sneaking naïve young girls into your room?"

"I've already finished," Norman replied smoothly. "I was a year ahead of Edward. Now don't try to tell me little Edward's been satisfying all your needs."

"Nothing about Edward is little," I snapped. "And I'm perfectly satisfied."

Norman leaned back against the shelves with his arms crossed, trying a lazy smile – but it came out as a leer. "Are you sure, Miss Swan? Does he make you scream? Because he's not doing it right, otherwise."

My temper was flaring, and I knew I was wandering into dangerous territory, but he provoked me so. "He's doing it right," I hissed. "And if you don't leave me alone, I swear I'll kick you where it'll make _you_ scream."

It didn't have the desired effect. Instead of running away from me, he laughed aloud. "So you've let Edward up your skirts, have you? I wonder what his parents would have to say if they knew."

I couldn't very well admit that I'd never actually had sex with _this_ Edward when I'd just been defending his prowess, but his threat unsettled me.

"They won't know."

"Oh, but I should inform them," Norman said innocently. "They should know what kind of girl their son is consorting with."

I narrowed my eyes, clenching my fists. I felt my tear ducts reacting, as they always did when I was angry. "They would never believe you over Edward."

"Don't worry, Bella. I can be very persuasive when I need to be. I've done my research, Bella. I know you have no family, no friends. When they kick you out on the street, maybe you'll reconsider your attitude toward me."

With that final threat, he left me. I waited until he'd sauntered lazily out of the store before I turned back to the forgotten thread, tears spilling down my cheeks. He couldn't touch me, I told myself. I would explain what had happened to Edward, and he would understand. Elizabeth would believe us, not Norman. And Elizabeth could convince Edward, Sr. There was nothing to worry about, nothing at all.

But that still didn't stop my hands from shaking a little as I reached for one of the spools, not paying any attention to which shade I grabbed.

* * *

Edward poked me in the side, startling me out of my daze. "What's the matter?" he asked, plucking the unread book out of my hands. "You've been distant all evening."

"Oh, um…well…I had an unpleasant encounter today," I admitted, knowing it was useless to resist him. He would wheedle it out of me one way or another.

Edward narrowed his eyes. "What sort of unpleasant encounter?"

"Norman Bouchard," I sighed, watching his fists clench automatically. His neck had gone red; I worried he would do himself injury – or do injury to someone else.

"What did he say to you?" Edward demanded. "Did he…did he make advances on you again? Because I swear –"

"It was just the usual," I cut him off. "He tried to imply again that I wasn't…you know, _satisfied_, and I…well, I was angry, so I sort of implied that…that _you_ were…_satisfying_ me." Innuendo was such a pain.

Edward's cheeks had gone pink, but it looked as though some of his anger had faded. "And how did he take that?"

I scowled. "He threatened to tell your parents."

Edward considered that for a moment. "That sounds like Norman to me."

"You're not worried?" I asked, looking for reassurance. Edward actually rolled his eyes at me.

"Bella, my parents love you and they trust me. There's nothing at all to worry about. Even if we _had_…I mean, we are engaged. Not that I would approve of that," he stammered, "but if we were getting married anyway, it wouldn't be much of a scandal…now I suppose you'll really need a ring."

I gaped at Edward, but he'd already begun muttering calculations to himself about his wages and when he would be able to buy me a decent ring. I sighed and took my book back. Leave it to Edward to use a bad situation as an excuse to be even more…matrimonial.

I would have to tell my Edward that he hadn't changed a bit.


	17. Chapter 17

**Title:** Only Human (17/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

My birthday passed uneventfully, which…was confusing, to say the least. I didn't dare tell anyone else what day it was – the last thing I needed was another failed celebration. I worried that my birthday was the catalyst that would send me back to my time – that the approximate two months was all the time I'd been given to fulfill the wish.

But the hours passed normally, one after another, and I was still there in 1918, still living the life I'd established. Now it was midnight; Edward's warm body was curled around mine, one arm slung over my waist, and nothing had happened.

My birthday was over, and nothing had changed.

A gnawing fear kept me awake into the early morning hours. I realized I'd been putting all my eggs into the very small basket that was my birthday. If that particular day wouldn't send me back, what would? Would I return once my wish was completed…and how long would that take? Or would I be completely unable to return, regardless of what happened?

I knew it was very likely that Edward would fall ill with the coming of the epidemic, and if he did…well, obviously, I would have to make sure Carlisle changed him. I couldn't let him die; that would destroy me. But once he was a vampire, I wouldn't be able to stay with him…he would be a newborn, with all the instability that Edward had been warning me about. He wouldn't be able to be anywhere _near_ me. And if I couldn't go back to my time…where _would_ I go?

I finally fell asleep with those thoughts circling in my head, and I dreamed of being lost in the dark, unable to find my way home. I kept calling for Edward, but he never came.

I woke to more darkness, but Edward was there, shaking me slightly. "Bella? Are you awake?"

"Yes…" I was still half in my dream, disoriented.

"You were calling for me in your sleep," he explained as his warm hand cupped my cheek. "Are you all right?"

"Just a bad dream," I replied, snuggling into him. His warmth was comforting. "I'm fine now."

"You sounded so scared," Edward whispered, stroking my hair soothingly. "I felt helpless; I didn't like it."

"Sorry," I smiled. "I guess you'll have to find a way to walk around in my dreams and rescue me from my subconscious."

Edward laughed. "Right. Like I could ever wander around people's minds."

Fortunately, Edward assumed I was laughing at the joke.

* * *

September 13th quickly turned into September 20th. It amazed me, the rate at which time seemed to be flying by. It felt like just yesterday when I'd tumbled into this time and first laid eyes on a human Edward. In fact, every time I laid eyes on him felt like the first time. My mind couldn't adjust to it.

I think I'd been a little _too_ helpful today. Elizabeth didn't mind me spending too much time in the kitchen if I really wanted, but the cook _did_ mind me getting underfoot – and spilling. I spilled a lot. So I'd been sent shopping for apples, now that they were in season, mostly to make me feel useful. The planned apple pie was superfluous given the cake already baking in the oven.

Other than my fear of running into Norman – I would most certainly end up kneeing him in the groin, and that wasn't very ladylike – it was a beautiful day. The vendor, a middle-aged man, smiled warmly at me as I perused the selection, picking out the best apples.

I had almost finished when there was an uproar behind me. I turned around, seeing a crowd of people surrounding a man on the ground. When I realized exactly what I was witnessing, I froze in place, dropping a forgotten red apple into the dirt.

The man was clammy-skinned and sweating, clearly ill. He was struggling to get up, but he seemed to be too weak. Two other mean were trying to help him, but he appeared to have a tenuous grasp on consciousness.

It looked like the flu. And I knew that this year's flu would not be ordinary; it would be devastating.

I hurried home, apples forgotten.

* * *

Once I got home, I realized I'd overreacted a bit. Perhaps what I'd seen was merely one sick man with a perfectly normal strain of flu. It might not be the epidemic I was waiting for after all. And everything was perfectly normal in the Masen household. Elizabeth was at her desk, working away at her correspondence, whatever that entailed. And both Edward, Sr. and Jr. would be home soon. Everything was as it should be.

When Edward finally came home, he was alarmingly cheerful. He promptly dragged me out of the parlor, upstairs to my bedroom. I pondered the possibilities; was his virtue getting restless again?

"I have something for you," he said excitedly as he shut the door behind us. I sat down warily on the bed, examining his flushed cheeks and bright eyes.

"All right," I sighed. I wasn't going to ruin his fun, not this time. "I'm ready."

He reached his hand into his jacket pocket as he sunk down onto one knee. I fought the urge to bury my face in my hands and block out the image. Was he really going to propose to me _again_?

Oh, but he was. The small box in his hand taunted me as he looked hopefully into my eyes.

"Isabella Swan, this will make it official," he said, unable to keep the smile off his face. What a hopeless romantic he was. "I swear, I will love you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"

His life would be much longer that he'd ever imagined, but still, I knew the words were absolutely true. He would love me forever…_every single day of forever_, just as he'd promised. My heart clenched.

Edward opened the tiny box, revealing a small ring nestled in the cloth lining. It was gold, and much smaller than his mother's ring – a circular sapphire with a tiny diamond nestled on each side. I smiled. He'd worked so hard to buy that ring.

"Yes, Edward. Of course I'll marry you."

He rewarded my tolerance with his crooked smile and happily slid the ring onto my left hand. The new weight on my finger was comforting; I'd felt strange without the first rings Edward had put on my finger.

"It's very pretty," I commented, amused by the exorbitantly pleased expression on his face. "What made you choose a sapphire?" He couldn't possibly know it was my birthstone.

Edward shrugged. "It just reminded me of you. It looks like it's full of hidden thoughts and mysteries…and it's beautiful, of course."

He got off his knee and joined me on the bed. His arm wrapped around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder as he surveyed my newly adorned hand. "I've been thinking," he murmured. His breath fluttered against my ear, making me shiver. "If I can convince my father to let me get a better job within the next few months, we might marry in a year. If I save properly."

My heart broke for him. How could I tell him that he didn't have another year? That none of the dreams that hung heavy in his words could come true?

I plastered on a false smile before I kissed him, fiercely, trying to tell him without words how sorry I was. He mistook my desperation for enthusiasm, responding with abandon. I didn't mind; I liked the feel of his fingers digging into my back and his tongue sliding against mine.

The metallic ring of the dinner bell shattered the moment. We pulled apart reluctantly, both with faces flushed and short of breath.

"I think she did that on purpose," Edward said ruefully, brushing back the hair that had come loose from my bun while we kissed.

"We can resume this later," I said, to which he grinned.

"We'd better."

Hand in hand, we went down to dinner. His parents were already seated, and they looked up at our entrance. Elizabeth's eyes zeroed in on my left hand, but thankfully, she didn't jump up and grab at it like I was half-expecting. She merely gave me a warm smile as Edward pulled my chair out for me.

The normal small talk followed – Elizabeth asked how her husband and son's days had been, like the devoted wife and mother she was. Edward didn't stop smiling for the duration of the meal, but his father didn't seem to notice. In fact, his father had been a little out of it the entire time. I took a closer look at him and realized he was sweating. But it _was_ a little warm. It could be nothing.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had noticed. Elizabeth was peering at him now with a worried expression, and Edward had caught on as well.

"Father? Are you all right?"

Edward Masen, Sr. looked up blearily. "Fine, fine. Just a little under the weather, I suppose."

"Perhaps you should lie down," Elizabeth suggested, feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. "You're feverish, darling."

"You may be right," he sighed. "Yes, I think I will lie down a while…"

He stood shakily from the table and wandered almost aimlessly out of the room. I glanced between Edward and Elizabeth, who wore matching frowns of concern.

"Perhaps I should go look after him," Elizabeth said, tossing aside her napkin. She moved calmly from the table, but it was easy to see the panic in her eyes. The panic that was spreading rapidly through my body. I glanced at Edward, who was watching me now.

"Edward? What is it?"

He looked down at his half-eaten food, clearly considering what he wanted to say. "I'm just…worried, Bella. There were stories in the paper last month about an epidemic in Boston, some kind of…congestion of the lungs. It killed within days…hours, sometimes. What if…"

"What if it's come here?" I finished, having already reached that conclusion. "I saw someone collapse in the market today. He was too weak to stand…"

His throat tensed as he swallowed heavily. "I think you should leave the city for awhile, Bella. I don't want to risk you catching this."

"Not without you," I argued, knowing he would never leave his parents now.

"I can't – I'm needed here, Bella." His eyes pleaded with me, but I couldn't give him what he wanted this time.

"If you're here, that means I'm needed here, too. I won't leave you now. And I care about your parents, too – I am part of this family, aren't I? I can't run away."

Edward sighed, his expression pained. "I knew you wouldn't agree, but I had to ask anyway. But Bella, if anything happens to you –"

"Hush now," I said, reaching across the table for his hand. "We'll weather this together." And I gave him a reassuring smile that I didn't feel, but his shoulders relaxed anyway. Maybe I'd become a better liar since coming to the past.

I wanted nothing more than to crawl into his arms and cry, but this time, I had to be the strong, selfless one. Edward could never know just how bad this would become, and I couldn't let my fears overwhelm me. The possibility existed that we would all succumb to the influenza – I had no guarantee I wouldn't fall victim, too. But I had to do my best to take care of Edward now; I could worry about myself later.


	18. Chapter 18

**Title:** Only Human (18/27)

**Author: **Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

We sat downstairs all night, Edward and I, listening to the thick, hacking cough of his father upstairs. The worry sat like a lead cannonball in my stomach, making it hard to breathe properly. Edward clutched my hand tightly in his, squeezing my fingers too hard, but I never asked him to let go.

Elizabeth had the cook working double-time on broth and tea, though neither seemed to be helping much. The maid bustled up and down the stairs with cold compresses and whatever else was asked for. I would have liked to help, but my extensive clumsiness hadn't given me much preparation for dealing with illnesses…and there didn't seem to be much to do anyway. We could only wait, and it was excruciating.

I could tell by the occasional appearances of Elizabeth that it was bad, very bad. Her face was drawn and worried – terrified, more like it. It made Edward scared, I could tell, and I wanted to assure him that everything would be fine – but I didn't want to lie to him. Better that he face the truth now and grieve less later.

Around midnight, Elizabeth came tiredly down the stairs.

"He's very delirious," she told us, wiping her brow with the back of her hand. "But he keeps asking for you, Edward. Go on up to him now. I think I'd better call the physician…"

Edward released my hand reluctantly and climbed the stairs. He was tense all over with fear. I wondered what his father would say to him, if he was even coherent.

Elizabeth, meanwhile, went to the telephone in the parlor and started dialing. I would have suggested she call Carlisle, but he was at the hospital, and I didn't know the phone number there. I doubted there was much Carlisle could do anyway, as brilliant a physician as he was. The disease moved too fast.

The physician agreed to come right away. Evidently, he'd been dealing with similar calls all day long, and I didn't envy him his job in the current setting. After she hung up the phone, she sat down beside me on the sofa, where Edward had been all evening. I didn't know what I could possibly say to her that would be at all comforting, so we sat in silence. Her eyes were dazed, staring off into space at something I couldn't see, and I doubted she even realized I was there.

Roughly ten minutes later, Edward came back down. His face was ashen and horrified; I wanted to run to him, but in his state, I thought it better to wait for him to come to me. As soon as Elizabeth realized he'd returned, she was rushing back up the stairs, back to her husband's side.

"Edward?" I took his hand again as he returned to his place beside me. I saw the faint tracks of tears on his face, and my stomach clenched painfully. I had never seen Edward cry and never wanted to, either.

"It was awful," he croaked, avoiding my eyes. "He barely knew where he was, I could tell, and then he started to cough up blood…blood, Bella. He told me goodbye. I think…I think he's dying."

He turned to me, then, and I put my arms around him instinctively as he collapsed against me. Silently he shook with heavy sobs, and I could feel his tears seeping into the cloth over my shoulder. It was the worst thing in the world. I'd never felt so helpless before, never felt so heartbroken at one single sight. This was worse than Edward leaving me, worse than the look in his eyes when I'd cried for Jacob all night…this was Edward in pain, and there was nothing I could do but hold him.

I thought back to the times Edward had watched me cry, the things he'd done to soothe me, and I emulated that to the best of my ability. I know I didn't do nearly as well as Edward could as I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed slow circles on his back. There was no way the quiet murmur of my voice as I whispered the typical things to him was nearly as calming as the musical timbre of my Edward's words…but I did my best, and eventually, he grew still in my arms.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he sighed eventually, pulling away. "I should be stronger –"

"Nonsense," I shook my head, refusing to let him leave my embrace completely. "You don't have to be strong with me."

He sighed, not smiling, but his eyes were soft. "You _are_ my strength, Bella. I know it would be better if you were away from all this, but…I'm glad you're with me, regardless."

He kissed me gently – so gently that for a moment I thought it was my Edward holding me like a glass figurine – and then he pulled me in, holding me against his chest. I was content to be there, content to let Edward have whatever he needed now. I didn't move again until the doorbell rang.

"That will be the physician," I murmured, pulling gently away. "I'll get the door."

It was the least I could do to feel useful, but Edward followed me anyway, hovering protectively.

A short, balding man who looked to be in his fifties stood on the other side of the door. Spectacles were perched on his nose and he held a black medicine bag in one hand. I almost laughed – he was every bit the old-fashioned town doctor making a house call.

"I'm here to see Mr. Masen," he said promptly.

"Yes, right this way," I said, leading him to the stairs. Edward shut the door after him and followed us up, but he moved listlessly as though he didn't know where, exactly, he ought to be. I knew the feeling.

"In there," I gestured, indicating to the closed door to the Masens' bedroom. He knocked and entered; I thought it best to tug Edward back down the stairs, away from any more painful sights.

"I hate this," he muttered as we stood in the foyer. "The waiting. I wish I could at least _do_ something."

"I know," I said sympathetically. "That's how I feel as well. Maybe you should try to sleep. It's late, and you had a long day. You must be exhausted. I'll stay up – I'll wake you if anything happens."

"No," he shook his head. "I'm too anxious to sleep. But you should sleep, Bella. You've got circles under your eyes."

His fingers traced the dark splotches while his eyes studied my face with worry. "As if I could let you stay up alone and stew," I scoffed, forcing a smile for the umpteenth time that day.

"I guess it's back to waiting then," Edward sighed, pulling me back to the parlor.

Wrapped up together on the sofa, we did wait, for hours. The doctor eventually came back down and let himself out. The irresistible pull of sleep eventually forced me to doze lightly, but I woke every few minutes, finding that the hands on the clock had hardly moved.

Somewhere around three in the morning, I was jarred back into consciousness by the sound of Elizabeth's voice calling frantically for Edward. I scrambled to get up and allow Edward the freedom to move. He was halfway out of the room before I was fully conscious, and I followed him upstairs.

Edward and his mother were both inside the bedroom with his father. I couldn't see anything through the cracked door, but I could hear his father's heavy, labored breathing, the hacking cough…and I thought I could hear the painful, heart-wrenching moment when the breathing stopped.

I fell back faintly against the wall as I heard Elizabeth's sharp, agonized cry. This was horrible. Compared to this moment, I would gladly sit in suspense through the battle with the newborns again. I would watch Edward fight a hundred vampires, run through that square in Volterra a thousand times rather than face _this_ moment of watching history unfold just the way I'd known it and see others suffer. I was completely unable to help, unable to be the comfort Edward and Elizabeth would need.

And if things went according to history, it would only get worse.

They came out together a moment later. Edward guided his mother with an arm around her; she looked too distraught to stand. While she cried inconsolably, Edward was white as death, shocked beyond tears. I felt my own eyes welling up involuntarily.

"What can I do?" I asked shakily, keeping my voice soft as if one word too loud would cause either one of them to collapse.

"Tell the servants," Edward replied softly for his mother. I wasn't sure she'd even heard me. "They'll start getting things sorted."

I didn't hesitate to comply. As much as I wanted to offer comfort to Edward, I knew he and his mother needed each other now, needed to share the grief of losing someone they both loved deeply. My place was to make this as easy as possible.

The three servants in the house sat together in the kitchen, whispering a rapid conversation. They stopped abruptly when they heard me come in, eyes full of expectation. I winced.

"Mr. Masen…he's passed away," I blurted out, unsure how to break the news. "I don't know what I should do…"

The cook, Mary, stood up and ushered me back out of the room. "We'll call the coroner's office. You take care of Edward and the missus."

I didn't know what I could possibly do, but I went warily back to the parlor anyway, where Edward was still trying to comfort his mother. It broke my heart to see her this way. She looked so lost, like she didn't quite know how to live now that such a central part of her life had gone missing.

Edward looked up to me helplessly, but I had no answers for him. When he reached out for my hand, I offered it gladly and didn't let go for a long while.

Some time later, a man arrived with a wagon to carry away the body. A normal funeral would be impossible under the circumstances – due to the rapid spread of the disease, it was imperative to dispose of the remains immediately, however difficult that might be for the surviving families.

After that ordeal, Edward and I convinced Elizabeth to get some rest in the spare bedroom which the maid had prepared. The servants waited until she was settled before they started stripping the linens from the master bedroom; I wondered if they would boil them or burn them.

Edward and I went to bed separately, but tonight, I went to his room. I wasn't sure if he would want me around, if he would prefer to isolate himself in his grief, but I would take my chances.

The lights were off in his room, but he hadn't even undressed for bed. Instead, he sat on the edge, his head in his hands, almost as still as the vampire he would become.

I shut the door quietly behind me and approached. When my legs brushed against his, he finally looked up. An instant later, his arms were wrapped tightly around me, holding me to him by my lower back while his cheek pressed into my stomach. My hands went to his hair; touch was the only means through which I knew I could comfort him.

"Why is this happening?" His voice was broken. "Just twelve hours ago, life seemed perfect. And now…"

I formulated the words carefully in my head, hoping they would make sense to him as they did to me. "I think sometimes, destiny has something bigger in mind than most of us can ever see, and sometimes, these things that seem so unfair and so wrong can serve a higher purpose."

Edward's fingers flexed and pressed into my skin in a gesture that I didn't understand. I could feel his lips moving against my nightgown as he muttered, "I don't much like the thought of being a toy in fate's hands."

"No, neither do I," I agreed. I didn't like what fate had thrust upon me at all right now. But if it had sent me here to Edward, I would gladly do anything in my power to help him. "But I like to think that fate would never force us to do the wrong thing. We have power over our own choices, at least."

"And if there's no choice to make?" Edward asked, looking up at me desperately. "What then?"

I smiled sadly. "What I mean to say is that…no matter how bad things are and no matter what is taken from us, we can take comfort that we've done the best we can."

"That is something of a comfort." He released me with a sigh. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course, I'm here as long as you want me," I promised.

I waited for him under the covers while he stripped out of his shirt and trousers and came to bed in only his shorts. His boldness puzzled me, but I didn't question him as he clutched me tightly to his chest. It occurred to me that the feeling of loss might make him afraid of what else he might lose, and I sympathized with that fear.

In my mind I heard the delicate melody of Edward's lullaby, the tune that had eased me into sleep so many times. Inspired, I began to hum. My voice seemed woefully inadequate, but Edward didn't seem to mind. As the music drifted in the darkness, he gradually slid into a peaceful sleep, relaxing his hold around me. It was the most I could do for him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Title:** Only Human (19/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.  
**A/N:** We probably won't see blues-clues!Edward, as he's been affectionately named, for another few chapters. For now…try to enjoy?

* * *

I woke late the next day; the room was bright with the afternoon sun. For a moment, I didn't move, snug and comfortable as I was in the crook of Edward's arm. His chest moved beneath me, rising gently with each breath, and his heart thumped strongly. In that moment, feeling him warm and healthy beside me, nothing seemed so bad.

When I lifted my head, I saw that he was awake, watching me. I offered a small smile as I studied his green eyes closely, wanting to store the exact shade in my memories.

Edward had other ideas. He took my face between his hands and pulled me to him for an urgent kiss. For once, I ignored my morning breath rule – he had my human weaknesses too, after all – and moved my lips eagerly against his.

He rolled us, trapping me beneath him as his kiss grew more intense, his tongue delving into my mouth. Our breath mingled hotly while his body moved against mine, and I responded helplessly. My body acted with the keening demands of my heart, which recognized in Edward its true match.

Eventually he pulled away to breathe, eyes too bright, and his thumbs continued to caress the line of my jaw. "I'm sorry – I needed to feel you there," he breathed. His fingers came to tangle in my hair, freed as it was from its usual confine of pins.

"Don't apologize for that," I whispered back. "I was made to be whatever you need."

"So that's how you do it so effortlessly," he smiled, massaging my scalp gently. It was hard not to purr in delight.

"I love you." It seemed the only appropriate thing to say at the moment, and even then, it wasn't nearly enough.

He sighed happily and smiled as he nuzzled my cheek. "You can't imagine how those three words make me feel. It's as if nothing can be completely wrong as long as you love me."

"I understand better than you think," I replied.

We lay wrapped up together for a few minutes longer before I thought we couldn't afford to stay.

"Perhaps I should check on your mother," I suggested. I didn't know how long the flu symptoms took to develop, but if she was next…

"She would appreciate that," Edward agreed. "I worry for her…she seemed so lost last night. I don't know how she'll recover. I don't know how I'll manage all this, for that matter…there's my father's business to consider, all his affairs…"

"Hey, hey," I hushed him, smoothing the hair back from his forehead. "Don't stress yourself. You can only do one thing at a time, so there's no use worrying about it until you get there. For now, let's work on the basic needs. We've missed breakfast and lunch, from the looks of it. I'll see to your mother and find us all something to eat."

He laughed, a sound of shaky relief and reassurance. "You're a miracle, Bella. How did I ever live without you?"

"That's one of the world's great mysteries, I suppose," I teased, slipping out of his grasp and throwing on my dressing gown. "You get dressed and washed up. I'll meet you downstairs."

"Thank you, Bella," he sighed with a grateful smile.

"Of course."

I dressed quickly and then went to peek into the room Elizabeth had used. She was still sleeping, her face drawn with the exhaustion of the night before. I decided to let her rest a while longer. From the time when Edward had left me, I remembered how comforting unconsciousness could be when the world wasn't a pleasant place.

Down in the kitchen, I found Mary slumped over a bowl of potatoes she was attempting to peel.

"Did you get any sleep at all?" I asked her, carefully moving the knife away from her, lest she have an accident dozing off.

"Not much," she admitted. While all the servants obeyed a code of strict formality with the family, I was treated to a little less propriety, which I didn't exactly mind.

"You should go get some sleep. Mrs. Masen isn't even awake yet. I can do the cooking for you. There's no use in you being exhausted."

"You sure, Miss? I know you'll be needed…"

"I'd really like to feel useful right now, actually."

Mary hesitated a moment more before jumping up from the table. "Oh, thank you. I have to admit, I doubted you at first. But I'm glad you're here now."

"Thank you…I think," I muttered as she hurried out of the room. Left alone in the strange kitchen, I did the best I could with the supplies provided. I nearly set the house on fire lighting the gas stove, and I burnt a few things trying to adjust to cooking over the flame.

Edward wandered into the kitchen before I could finish, searching for me.

"You're cooking?" he noted with surprise. "Where's Mary?"

"I sent her to sleep. I'm afraid you're stuck with my culinary masterpieces today," I informed him, handing him a platter of fried potatoes. "Sorry, I've got limited resources."

"That's quite all right," he chuckled. "It smells delicious."

After I had Edward seated with a plate of food, I prepared a tray to take up to Elizabeth, along with a pot of tea. For some reason, tea seemed to be the universal comfort beverage.

When I entered the room for the second time, she stirred, blinking against the afternoon light. She didn't say anything, but smiled gratefully as I sat the tray on the bedside table.

"I'm not sure you'll care for the food," I said nervously, uncertain and treading carefully as I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. "I did the cooking so that Mary could get some sleep…but I hope it's good. If you need or want anything, please let me know. I want to help."

Elizabeth smiled – but it didn't quite reach her eyes – and she patted my hand. "You're a good girl. I think…I would like some time alone today. It's difficult for me to come to terms with – with what happened. I know I needn't ask, but would you take care of Edward? I don't think I can be what he needs now…but _you_ can."

"I'll do my very best," I promised, feeling tears pooling in my eyes.

"Thank you." Her voice was breathy with mingled strain and relief.

When I went back downstairs, I saw that Edward had already finished eating and left. Suddenly ravenous, I took a minute to feed myself before I went searching the house for him.

He wasn't in any of the main rooms, or his bedroom. Eventually, I found him in his father's study, sorting through the contents of the desk drawers. His eyes were pained when he looked up at my entrance.

"The servants took care of everything pressing, but all his things…I don't know what to make of half these papers. His will, his banking accounts…I don't know where any of that information is."

I approached carefully, not wanting to disturb any of the piles he'd created around him, and reached out to touch his face. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Remember what I said? One thing at a time," I said, looking around at the mess. "We'll do what we can with what we recognize and find someone to help us with what we don't. Maybe Car – Dr. Cullen could help us. He would understand some of the financial things, at least."

"Right," Edward nodded. "Will you help me?"

"Of course. You never had to ask."

We spent the rest of the day on the floor of the office, looking through papers and ledgers and everything else that was in there. At one point, we did find his father's will and the information about the bank accounts, which was a relief to Edward, knowing he and his mother would be provided for. Now and then we'd come across other objects, unrelated to business – his father's pipe, a weirdly misshapen elephant Edward had tried to carve as a child after they'd visited the circus. I listened to Edward's stories about these items with rapt attention – while it was part of the grieving process for him, I was drinking up the knowledge of his childhood. By the time we finished, I felt like I'd been introduced to a whole new Edward…again.

Mary woke up to cook a late dinner, thankfully. While Edward had complimented my cooking, I didn't think anybody knew quite what to make of my dishes. Future-food, I called it to myself. Things they'd never been introduced to. I took another tray up to Elizabeth and found her much the same as she'd been earlier. I wondered if she would ever be her warm and cheery self again…and then it occurred to me that she wouldn't have the time to recover from this pain. At the thought, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Thankfully, Edward had good reason to misinterpret my distress, and he held me without question.

The next day went much the same. Edward and I spent the morning finishing in the study. We decided to leave everything we didn't know what to do with for another day, and after lunch we went for a rest in the parlor. Elizabeth finally emerged from her room and joined us for a short time, but she didn't say much. Mostly, she stared into space, though she held a book in front of her, and after dinner, she retreated again.

Edward seemed to be doing better, but I couldn't relax completely. I knew it was only the calm before the storm.

The next morning, I stirred awake as Edward was getting out of bed. I reached for him, tempted to pull him back to me.

"I'm going to go check on my mother this morning," Edward explained, squeezing my hand. "I feel like…I should be doing more for her."

"No, Edward, don't feel guilty," I argued immediately. Edward's tendency to take guilt upon himself was certainly one of his inherent traits. "I don't think there's much that anyone can do. She'll just need time."

"I know," he acknowledged unhappily. "I can only imagine what it would be like to…well, I can't imagine. Maybe that's the point."

"I'm not following you," I admitted, sitting up to watch him dress. I liked the awkward movement of him pulling his shirt on and the funny balancing act as he pulled his pants up.

He bit his lip and his gaze fell intently on me. "I'm talking about losing the one you love. I don't know how I would go on…"

"Oh." It was barely a puff of air. "I know what you mean."

He finished buttoning and smiled almost wistfully at me. "I'll see you downstairs when you're ready." He leaned over the bed to kiss me. I held him there longer than he intended to stay, pressing my lips firmly against his. I needed him to feel how much I loved him; it seemed especially important today for some reason.

When he pulled away, he was grinning. "If every morning can begin that way, I'll never complain."

I watched him go with an uneasy feeling, but I shook it off, knowing I would feel better when I was with him again. I climbed out of bed as usual and reached for my dressing gown. I'd barely tied it around me when Edward's voice called for me, its tone shrill and frantic.

Knowing in the pit of my stomach what was coming, I ran toward the sound. Edward was in his mother's room, leaning over her. Somehow, she hadn't woken to Edward's cry, and I realized with horror that she was flushed and drenched in sweat. I looked to Edward, struck painfully by the open panic on his face.

"I don't know what to do for her," he croaked. I saw the knowledge in his eyes that she was suffering the same disease that had killed his father, the knowledge that she might be lost as well. I wanted to hold him, but it wasn't the time.

"I don't either," I admitted. "Maybe…should we take her to the hospital?"

Edward nodded, trying to appear calm, though I knew he wasn't. "The hospital. Right, that's a good idea. I'll…I'll get the servants to help me with her to the car so you can get dressed."

I nodded and went to my room to scramble into my usual dress. My fingers were shaking and it was hard to do up the buttons, but I managed somehow. Before I left, I checked the pocket, making sure the rings I'd worn with me from the future were still there. I didn't want to risk losing them in this time.

"Bella!" Edward rushed up to me as soon as I stepped out. "Mary is ill, too. Hannah is helping her…can you go to them? I'll carry my mother out…"

"Of course," I agreed, already scurrying down the stairs. My stomach churned with my horror. In my fear for Edward and his family, I had never considered that the servants might fall ill, too. I felt tears escaping for the woman I'd formed a tentative friendship with, but there was no time to acknowledge the pain.

Downstairs in Mary's room, the housemaid Hannah had gotten Mary to sit up and was wrapping her up in a shawl. The poor cook's eyes were glazed with fever.

"We need to get her to the car to take her to the hospital with Mrs. Masen," I said as I squeezed my way into the small bedroom. "Can you help me support her?"

It took some difficult maneuvering, and Mary was in no state to cooperate, but we managed to half-guide, half-drag her to the car, where Edward had his mother bundled up in the backseat. He fidgeted anxiously outside the driver's side.

As soon as we had Mary in the back, I jumped in the passenger's seat. Edward had already started the vehicle, ready to go, and we took off toward the hospital. The car wouldn't go fast enough for Edward's liking, and we were obstructed on occasion by horse-drawn wagons and distressed mourners. The city was clearly in a panic, and it was all so much more terrifying than any supposed monster I'd faced. At least vampires could kill quickly and painlessly.

Outside the hospital was a throng of people – healthy people, it looked like. I realized, as some of them pleaded with a man blocking the door, that they were trying to get inside to visit loved ones.

"I'm sorry, it's simply too crowded," the man said, shaking his head. "We're running out of beds; there's no space for everyone to be standing about!"

"Wait here," Edward yelled over the noise of the crowd before he slipped out of the car. I watched him weave through the people, losing him for a moment before he emerged again in the front. He spoke quickly and quietly to the man at the door and was allowed inside. Minutes later, he returned with a young, sandy-haired doctor. I was instructed to wait outside again as Edward carried in his mother and the doctor carried Mary. Neither had the strength to walk. It was heartbreaking to watch Edward struggle with the weight; he was so much _weaker_ than I was used to, and that only emphasized his vulnerability.

The crowd parted almost instantaneously when they realized more sick people were being carried in. Some covered their faces with their sleeves, as if that would save them from catching the illness, too. I didn't know why they thought being inside the hospital with hundreds of sick people would be safe.

Edward returned several long minutes later by himself, face slack and blank. I looked to him worriedly.

"They won't let anyone stay with her," he said hollowly. "I'm allowed to come check on her once a day, but that's it. What if – what if she –"

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I whispered, throwing my arms around him. "But she's strong. She'll hold on for you."

"I hope you're right," he said brokenly into my shoulder. "I can't lose her, too."

As we held each other in the small front seat of the car, I matched him tear for tear.


	20. Chapter 20

**Title:** Only Human (20/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.  
**A/N:** This is the chapter in which the story earns its rating. Young 'uns and such, beware.

* * *

If I'd known exactly how to work the ancient car, I would have insisted upon driving home. As it were, I wasn't at all sure about Edward's mental state. He hadn't said a word since we'd driven away from the hospital.

Nevertheless, we returned to the house in one piece. Edward moved slowly, as if in a daze. I walked cautiously behind him as we went into the house, and he headed up the stairs. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to come along, but I followed him into his bedroom anyway. Immediately, he sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands like he did every time he was upset.

"Edward?"

When he looked up at me, his eyes were haunted. "I'm scared, Bella."

That admission opened the floodgates between us. I went to him without a thought, wrapping my arms around his torso as I sunk onto the bed next to him. "I know. I'm scared, too."

"What do I do, Bella? Everything is falling apart…"

He held me so tightly that it was hard to breathe, but I squeezed myself closer nevertheless, running my hands over his back in a gesture that was a touch too frantic to be soothing. "We still have each other, Edward. It's going to be fine." I had to think many years into the future to make the statement true.

"And if it's not?" His lips brushed against my neck where he'd buried his head as he spoke. "I can't lose you, too…the thought alone is unbearable. And what if something happens to me? Who will take care of you?"

"Shh," I hushed him, dragging my fingers through his untidy hair. He hadn't even had time to comb it this morning. I couldn't bear thinking about leaving him now. Maybe I would make it back to my Edward, but he would have to wait eighty-seven years to catch up to me. It didn't seem fair that he should experience the long years of loneliness…but none of this had ever been very fair to him.

"Don't think of it," I told him. "We can't worry about the things we have no control over. It will drive us insane."

"I know you're right, but I can't help it," he said brokenly. He pulled away just far enough to look me in the eye. "I can't stop thinking about it."

"Then don't think," I said impulsively, taking his face between my hands, forcing myself to keep looking into his pained eyes. "Just feel. Focus on here and now."

And I kissed him the way I'd always tried and failed to kiss him in my time – throwing all my strength, all my thought, all my emotions into the experience.

He responded readily, burying his hands in my hair that still hung free. His mouth opened under mine, hot and willing. I tangled my tongue with his, even as he nudged me back to lie on the bed. His body settled over mine, a warm weight that pressed us together. I could feel every inch of him, from thighs to chest, matching up to me like a connecting puzzle piece.

His hands, for the first time, began to move over my body in earnest, sliding up my sides, tracing around my breasts. He pulled away from my mouth, gasping for air.

"Bella – I – is this…?"

"Don't stop," I said simply. I could be the eloquent one for once. To emphasize my point, I brought his mouth back to mine for another desperate kiss. I would not stop for the world; I had decided. If my time with this human Edward was running short, I was going to make the most of it.

His lips moved to my jaw, caressing the line from my lips to my ear, and he dared to finally touch my breasts. I moaned automatically as his thumbs brushed over my stiffened nipples. He groaned, the sound fluttering against my skin in a warm breath of air. I wanted to feel it again and again. I wanted the sensation of every sigh, every moan to stay with me forever. I wanted to know every inch of him and burn that onto my memory for all eternity.

I caressed his face as we continued to kiss, tracing over every angle. My fingers trailed down to feel his long neck, pausing over his flying pulse that raced with my own. I smiled involuntarily and continued down to the smooth line of his collarbone, his strong shoulders, the flat expanse of his chest. I went to the buttons of his shirt and popped them one by one, as quickly as I could with my shaking fingers. It was like the first time all over again.

His eyes bored intently into mine as I freed the final button; they smoldered with desire. I placed my hands on his warm, soft skin, roaming over his chest and abdomen, and he let out a gasp that echoed loudly in the otherwise silent room. It was so different from what I knew, so…innocent, in a way. For the first time, I really felt like the temptress he'd accused me of being.

Edward responded by bringing a hand to my ankle, supporting his weight with the other. His fingers brushed tantalizingly over the taut skin there, and I understood then why ankles had once been thought erotic – they undeniably were. He reached higher, up my calf, taking the dress with him. My breath was coming in shallow pants by the time his touch tickled behind my knee. He looked to me questioningly as he went up my outer thigh, finally grazing my hip. _Are you sure?_ his eyes asked.

In answer, I began to undo the row of buttons down the front of my bodice. I felt like I was doing a very, very old-fashioned striptease; he watched with utter fascination as the chemise beneath slowly appeared.

I sat up on my knees when I finished and raised my arms in the universal indicator that he could take my dress off. His face was tense and bright with excitement, his fingers trembling as he began to pull up on the skirt. The material bunched in his hands as it got to my hips, and then came the slow ascent up my torso, and finally over my head. I readily tugged my arms free.

The dress fell to the floor with a _whoosh_, and he looked me over intensely. I didn't know what he found so captivating – he'd seen this much before – but I gladly took the opportunity to study his upper body again. He was less muscled than my Edward, but still unspeakably beautiful – only in the human way now.

I reached out to push the shirt off his shoulders. Once his arms were free, he pulled me against him. His body heat soaked through the thin chemise as his lips brushed softly over my shoulders and collarbone. His hands burned against my back.

I sighed in pleasure as I explored his bare skin, enjoying the flexing of his muscles beneath my fingers. He was so very…alive.

"_Bella_," he breathed over my skin like a prayer. His fingers danced over the hem of the chemise, and I let him remove that, too. Underneath, I only wore the somewhat complicated panties of the time; my breasts were bare, exposed to his sight. Awe and fascination flickered boyishly over his face as he openly stared. To help him along, I brought one of his hands to my breast. Edward met my eyes nervously before he cupped it gently, exploring the soft flesh like an uncharted island. My skin burned under the tender touch. I ached with the brush of his thumb over my nipple. I needed more, and soon.

"You're so soft," he marveled quietly, trailing his hand down my stomach.

I could see in his eyes that he didn't quite know what to do next, and to solve his problem, I placed myself back in his arms. We both gasped at the touch of our bare chests, and our lips came together in timeless instinct. Once again, I was lost. I breathed in his scent, perfumed soap mingled with sweat and cologne. It filled my head.

His hands moved aimlessly over my back, and I knew I would have to lead him now, however much the prospect frightened me. I reached down between our bodies for the top button of his trousers. In the process, I accidentally brushed over his hardness, and his hips jerked in surprise. I placed my hand more purposefully over the bulge to see how he would react. His gasp filled my mouth. I moved back to the button and tugged it free. Before I went to the next one, I pulled back to look in his eyes – dazed and eager. I could see his throat flex with a swallow as the second button came loose. He wriggled out of his pants uncertainly, blushing hotly as his tented shorts came into view. I turned my face into his shoulder and kissed the smooth skin, trying to relieve some of the pressure.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," I whispered. I felt his fingers rest upon my cheek, stroking lovingly. I smiled.

"You can have whatever you want," I added as I lay back, tugging his arm to bring him with me. I wanted to reassure him if I could, to allow him to enjoy this fully. "I _want_ you to touch me."

His tongue peeked out to wet his lips, and I felt a new burst of arousal. He glanced down at my last remaining scrap of clothing. "May I?"

"Please," I answered, watching him undo the tapes to the sides of my underwear. He pulled the undergarment away, leaving me exposed to his gaze. Again, his throat flexed as he swallowed heavily. He tentatively placed one hand on my inner thigh and drew it upward. I could barely breathe as I waited to see if he would touch me where I wanted him most. He did, stroking tentatively against the tender skin. The warmth was surprising and wonderful. I wasn't sure if it was better than the cold touch I knew, but I decided it didn't matter. As long as it was Edward.

He obviously didn't know where to touch. I reached down and carefully guided his fingers to my clitoris. "Right there," I whispered, already quivering at the first touch. He grazed the spot gently, watching with fire in his eyes as I moaned and trembled in pleasure at the heat building in my groin. They way he watched me was more arousing than anything else. His face showed pure longing, desire, _want_. And I reciprocated entirely.

I had the brief warning of him licking his lower lip in concentration before his curious fingers dipped lower and searched for my opening. I gasped as one finger found its way inside me, twisting experimentally. I moaned for more, but he stopped abruptly. Perhaps it was something he'd seen in my glazed eyes, or perhaps some other thought had occurred to him. Whatever the reason, he moved his body over mine and kissed me again, thoroughly and urgently. I clung to him, delighted by the sensation of being naked in his arms.

Though I wasn't sure what he was ready for, I started to undo the fastenings of his underwear regardless. The impatience was winning over caution. Edward slipped them off when I finished. I couldn't resist a peek to see his erection, tall and flushed. My body tingled with the anticipation of having him inside me.

He looked at me with hesitation again, face flushed with embarrassment. "Bella, is there anything more I should…do for you? I don't really know how to…how to take care of a woman," he fumbled nervously.

I shook my head quickly, smiling in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. "No, you've been wonderful. Come here."

He crawled slowly back up my body, stopping when we were face to face. I captured his mouth with my own, still smiling, and urged him closer with my hands on his lower back. His erection brushed my sex, and we both took sharp breaths. Our eyes locked and he pushed forward painfully slowly. I felt inch by deliciously hot inch, burning within me as he groaned aloud in ecstasy.

"Bella, Bella…" he murmured continually as he began to move. His arms came around me to hold me to his chest, and I clutched him with my arms around his shoulders and my thighs against his hips. He thrust carefully. I could tell he was trying to be a gentleman, even now.

"Just let go," I urged, lifting my hips to meet his. "Let go, Edward."

Kissing me hard, he muffled his moan against my mouth as he began to pump faster. I stroked his tongue with mine and gave over to the feeling as well. I'd never felt quite so free with myself before. The sizzling flame flowed through me, fanned higher by the heated friction, the sounds our bodies made together, and his frenzied kisses.

His arms began to quake beneath me, and I knew he was as close as I was. His thrusts came unevenly, frantic, hard. And as he hit a spot deep within me, I came undone. The fire burned all over, down to my curled toes and up to my tingling scalp. Clenching helplessly around him, I cried out blissfully – triumphantly, even.

He reacted beautifully, dropping his weight onto me as he thrust as deep as he could go and reached his own shuddering climax. I savored the sight of his eyes fluttering closed and the shape of his mouth as he let out his own cry. He dropped his head to my shoulder. His hair stuck to his forehead with sweat.

We lay that way, still completely entwined, until our breathing and our heartbeats returned to a regular pace. I thought he might have fallen asleep before he finally opened his eyes and lifted his head, smiling ruefully down at me.

"I'm sorry. I swore I would make you my wife first."

I should have known the guilt was coming. I shook my head intently. "Edward, I love you. That's all that matters to me."

"And how I love you," he sighed, his smile turning wistful, then sly. "I suppose, now that it's happened, it couldn't hurt to do it again."

I chuckled. "I think we both need some time to recover first."

"But in general," he grinned, then rolled us, drawing me to his chest, "I think we should do it again. And again and again and again…"

I couldn't help grinning back and laughing happily. "Count me in."

We did end up doing it again. We came up for air to eat and to pretend to be respectable adults, but that evening, we went to bed early. Edward worked up the courage to try a few new things. He used his mouth on me – he'd blushed and stammered, trying to express his desire to do so, but I think he was reassured by my more than favorable reaction. And he'd let me stroke him to another release, though he was ashamed of it, I could tell. Evidently, it was too sordid an act for a proper lady to perform.

And, of course, we made love again, rocking together late into the night, skin slipping against sheets as our body heat collected under the covers. If it wasn't a comfort to him, it was at least a distraction which I was glad to provide. I couldn't honestly tell him that we would be fine or that I would be able to stay with him. Physical comfort was the next best thing, and if these were his last days – as a human, at least – I wanted them to be as peaceful as possible, if not exactly happy.


	21. Chapter 21

**Title:** Only Human (21/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.  
**A/N:** Forgive me?

* * *

I woke alone the next morning, still tangled up in the sheets, still completely naked. A moment of disorientation had me reaching around searching for Edward somewhere in the bed until I saw the note folded on his pillow.

_Bella,_

_Went to visit Mother. They're only letting in immediate family for an hour each day; I thought you'd rather sleep than wait around for me. I'll be back by eleven._

_I love you,_

_Edward_

_P.S. Waking up next to you this morning was heavenly. It was nearly impossible to leave._

I smiled to myself, folding the note back up. I hoped I would find him as happy when he returned, that his mother's condition hadn't worsened. Eventually, I dragged myself out of bed, washed up, and dressed. I felt lazy today, satiated and giddy. Maybe I was wrong to feel happy at a time like this, but…how could I not be?

I went down to the kitchen and started cooking. I doubted Edward had eaten anything before he left, without Mary around to cook. I had to wonder how she was as well, if Edward would be able to see her.

I was halfway finished when the front door opened and shut again. Edward's voice called out for me.

"In the kitchen!" I yelled in the general direction of the foyer. He appeared seconds later in the kitchen doorway. His loud, human footsteps proceeded him, refreshingly. He grinned at the sight of food.

"You're a godsend, Bella," he said, coming up to me where I stood at the stove and wrapping his arms around me from behind. His chin rested easily on my shoulder.

"How is your mother?" I didn't think he would be this happy if she hadn't improved, and I was right.

"She's much better," he said. Relief flooded his voice. "Her fever is down enough that she'd lucid. She talked to me the entire time asking after us. She's worried we're not eating enough here. I think she might recover, Bella."

I didn't look at him, afraid to see the hope in his eyes. I couldn't risk crushing it. "That's wonderful news. I told you she was strong," I said, infusing my voice with as much optimism as I could.

"I think everything might turn out all right," he sighed. "I can get back to work soon, and then…then we can start our life together properly."

I wanted to cry, but that wasn't an option. "Food's done," I said to distract him.

Edward told me all about his visit with his mother while we ate. I wanted him to be right, for Elizabeth to survive, but I also knew from Carlisle that she'd lingered on longer than her husband, trying to take care of her son…and that meant she wasn't nearly out of danger.

"Did you see Mary?" I asked, needing to change the subject again. I didn't know how long I could pretend for Edward.

"She's right next to mother," he said as his face fell. "She's not faring as well."

I didn't know there was room for more grief, but it somehow squeezed its way in. "It's all so horrible," I murmured.

"I know," he said softly. "But remember what you said – we still have each other."

"Right. That's the important thing," I agreed, forcing a smile again. Indeed, we did have each other – and hopefully, when this was over, I would return to my Edward. But he wouldn't have the same luxury, and I felt horribly guilty for it, even if there was nothing I could do to change it.

I cleared my throat, trying to chase away the awkward moment. "So, what would you like to do today?"

"Actually," he grinned roguishly, "I was thinking of a nap. I'm still tired from last night."

If I thought I was finally beyond blushing, I proved myself wrong. "I certainly wouldn't want to get in the way of any more of your sleep."

He chuckled. "Oh, but I would definitely want you to."

I made a show of rolling my eyes and got up to clear the plates. "Why don't you go upstairs and get started on that nap? Maybe if you're asleep when I join you, you'll be less tempted to let me interrupt."

"Very well," he laughed, pushing his chair away from the table to stand. "But don't blame me if I can't sleep without you there."

I smiled until I heard his feet on the stairs, lest he turn back and see my face fall. But as I washed the dishes, I used the few precious minutes alone to let the tears flow. Why did I have to come here? Why did I have to watch these people I'd become attached to grow sick and fade away? Why did I have to watch _him_ suffer? To see the hope disappear from his eyes with each new blow, only to resiliently emerge once more? Why had fate forced this upon me?

But as I thought over the two months I'd spent in the past, I couldn't regret. I had been granted an impossible opportunity – to participate in a part of Edward's life I had thought I would never know. Without the strange consequences of my wish, I never would have had the chance to meet his true parents, never could have heard his mother speak in approval of me. I never would have known that he hated asparagus or that he had a secret soft spot for the neighbor's cat. I wouldn't have known that his ribs were ticklish or that his eyes really were an extraordinary green. And I most certainly would never have known that the vampire was still very much the boy.

Without this journey, I realized, I never would have known that I loved Edward in every form, in every time, in every place. I wouldn't have the warm reassurance deep in my chest that my transformation into a vampire could not change his feelings for me…because it could not change the essence of me.

It could not take away the soul that I knew, now more than ever, Edward very much had – and it wouldn't take mine, either.

My wish had been to give Edward the kind of experiences he'd given me, but I finally understood that I had been sent with a lesson to learn.

The epiphany filled me with a sense of calm, of peace. Though I could not save Edward from what was to come without doing irreparable damage to my own future, I _could_ go with new understanding back to my Edward. I could step into eternity with eyes wide open and endeavor to fill every one of Edward's days with comfort, peace, and joy.

Suddenly, I felt strong enough. I would do whatever the coming days required of me, because it was important. It was all for _him_.

I dried my hands, washed my face, and went upstairs to join Edward.

True to his warning, he was still awake, though just barely. His smile was warm and drowsy as I slid in next to him under the covers. The weight of his arms around me felt like an anchor that kept me from drifting too far from the shore.

Exhausted by the whirlwind of emotions, I fell asleep easily in his warmth, with his scent filling my head and his pulse in my ear.

I dreamed I was with my vampire Edward again, back on my little bed in Charlie's house. His eyes were red in this dream, but it didn't bother me. My subconscious told me there was a good reason.

"I missed you!" I cried, wrapping my arms around his middle. He chuckled, running his fingers through my hair.

"Likewise."

"Why is all the furniture gone?" I asked, confused when I didn't see the familiar shapes of my rocking chair and desk.

"Silly Bella. You're dreaming. Those things aren't important. Focus on the details you do have."

"I don't understand." I was frustrated. We should be kissing by now.

"Look closely at _me_, Bella," he murmured, running his hands up and down my arms over the long sleeves…sleeves that belonged to the dress from 1918 which I still wore for some reason. I looked back to his red eyes and then down his body. I realized the problem. He was dressed for 1918, too, in suspenders, sleeves rolled up to the elbows. I frowned. "Did Alice dress you up?"

"It's almost time, Bella," he said, ignoring my remark. "I need you to be ready."

"Ready for what?" I asked. I was already anxious.

"It won't be easy, but you _must_ do this, Bella. To secure our future together."

"Do what?" I asked desperately, clutching his shoulders. He wasn't making sense.

"Please, Bella. Promise me."

"Edward, I don't know what you're asking!" My eyes started to tear up in frustration.

He held my face in his hands, looking intently into my eyes. "You do know. And remember, you must!"

Edward pulled me to him, kissing me firmly. His lips felt strangely hot, but I didn't have time to examine that.

"Please…" His breath was a whisper across my face, and then I woke, gasping.

The room was lit with late-afternoon sun, and I was alone again. Edward's absence made me uneasy after that dream. What had he meant, securing our future? What did he want me to do? And why had he had the red eyes of a vampire who drank human blood? There was no reason…except for him being a newborn, which…

…Which was exactly what he was. He was right; I did know, but I couldn't figure it out in the dream. He wore the clothes of this time and had red eyes because he had just been changed. And…he wanted me to make it happen. That was the only possible conclusion.

I didn't know if my dream was really a message from Edward or merely my own subconscious trying to steer me, but whatever the case, it was the only guidance I had, and it told me to be ready to let Edward go.

A thud outside the room drew my attention back to waking reality. I jumped out of bed and went to the hallway, fighting a feeling of dread the entire way.

I found Edward halfway down the stairs, slumped against the wall. Sweat gathered at his temples, his skin was flushed, his eyes were closed. I put a shaking hand to his forehead, finding it hot and damp. His eyes opened to meet mine, and they were terrified.

"No," I choked in spite of myself. _Be strong, Bella. He needs you._

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered.

"Hush," I breathed shakily. "It's going to be okay. I'm going to take care of you. Wait here. I'll get help."

I felt his eyes on me as I scurried down the stairs to the telephone. It was still daylight. Carlisle wouldn't be at the hospital yet.

I picked up the receiver and dialed the only person that could help me now.


	22. Chapter 22

**Title:** Only Human (22/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.  
**A/N:** We're visiting vampire!Edward this chapter for a short reprieve.

* * *

_It had taken three weeks of working and saving, and then begging my mother to lend me the rest, but I had done it. I finally had enough money to put a ring on Bella's finger. It wouldn't be much, but I knew she wouldn't mind, and besides, I would buy her a better one someday. This was about making it official. Making her mine in the eyes of the world._

_The small jewelry store didn't look like much, but a friend at work had recommended it, and it was in my price range._

_The clerk, a dark-haired man in his thirties with a mustache that curled at the ends, smiled when I entered. It wasn't really a friendly smile; rather, the smile of someone who had just locked on a target._

"_How may I help you today, young man?" he asked. "Looking for a special present for your sweetheart, perhaps?"_

_The idea amused me. My sweetheart. Bella was so much more. "I'm looking for an engagement ring, actually."_

"_Ah," he smiled knowingly as if I'd just shared some secret. "We have a fine selection of rings," he went on, pulling a tray out of a case for me to browse from. "See if there's anything you like here."_

_There were diamonds, rows and rows of diamonds in different shapes and sizes, different arrangements on different bands, but none of them were quite right. Bella wasn't a diamond, some shiny, pretty little thing to be thrust under noses at parties and oohed and ahhed over. She was something much better._

"_Do you have anything more…unique?"_

_His expression registered surprise, but he didn't voice it; instead he reached for another tray. "Perhaps one of these will suit you better."_

_There were more diamonds, but other stones, too – configurations of rubies, pearls, opals…they all seemed too garish or too…girlish for Bella. She was a woman who deserved a woman's ring._

_When my eyes landed on the sapphire, practically hidden off to the side, I knew it was the one. Deep and elegant, small but powerful…it was very much Bella._

"_That's the one."_

Her acceptance of the ring was so laughably easy that I almost felt offended…almost. But I could see in her eyes what my human heart didn't want to acknowledge – the fear, the guilt, the sadness. Even though I remained blissfully unaware in the past, Bella knew what was coming, and she wouldn't dare ruin my last human memories arguing about rings and weddings. I was grateful for it, because in those memories, I was blissfully happy. Nearly as happy as I'd been when I saw Bella walking down the aisle to me.

I wondered if she had any idea how close the end was. I had wakened as a vampire September 29th. Nine days, including the transformation, from my best count, unless she somehow changed the past. But could she? If I wasn't changed at that precise moment, would I be sitting here reliving the memories now? It was…impossible. More impossible than vampires or werewolves or wish-induced time-traveling.

_I'd never seen my father ill before. He'd been healthy every day of his life, as far as I knew. My mother was afraid; I could see it every time I went to check on them. Bella was always there, holding my hand, but I knew she felt as helpless as I did._

"…_he keeps asking for you…" My mother's voice faded to the background as I thought of climbing those stairs and walking into that room, but I made myself do it somehow. He was so incredibly pale, white as the sheets beneath him, but he forced a smile for me._

"_Father…"_

"_Edward, I want to…apologize." A cough. "We always think we know how our children's lives should go." Another cough. "You do what makes you happy, Edward. Don't waste a moment you have with her."_

"_Come now, Father," I said, trying to lighten the mood, "tomorrow you'll be feeling back to normal and get straight back to telling me what to do again."_

_His laugh turned into a long cough. He held a handkerchief to his mouth, muffling the awful hacking sound. When he pulled his hand away, the cloth was stained with blood. I could only stare in horror._

"_This isn't an ordinary summer cold, Edward. You should…prepare yourself for the worst."_

_I felt sick all over at how easily my father discussed his own death. He was serious, and I wanted it to be a joke._

"_Take care of your mother," he went on. "And hold on to Bella. Nothing has ever motivated you like she does. Elizabeth was right…she's exactly what you need."_

_I swallowed past the lump in my throat and tears burned my eyes. "Father…I…"_

_He smiled; it looked like an effort. "Run along now, son. You needn't stay and listen to me cough."_

_I realized with horror that he was trying to spare me the pain of watching him die, and then I had to flee. This was impossible. He was young. He was healthy. Impossible._

It was a strange memory to relive. Ever since I'd been changed, I'd struggled to remember what it felt like to cry. Now, as I re-experienced falling into Bella's arms in grief, I could feel the tears running and the wonderful sensation of release and cleansing that went along with them.

I felt…peace. For the longest time, I had been left in the dark, wondering what my parents were like, how I had interacted with them…my remaining memories had never been enough to fully answer those questions, and I had been left unable to grieve for what I had lost – how could I grieve for people I didn't know?

Now I could confirm things I'd only been told or had to guess at before – that my mother was kind and perceptive and loved me dearly. That my father approved of my choices. That I was happy and loved.

And now I had the benefit of knowing they loved my Bella. I hoped they would be proud now to see that I had tried to make the best of this life I'd been given, and that I had found some kind of redemption in love.

"_I think sometimes, destiny has something bigger in mind than most of us can ever see, and sometimes, these things that seem so unfair and so wrong can serve a higher purpose."_

My past self hadn't felt the full meaning of her words, but I did. I had lost a great deal when the Spanish flu struck – my family, my dreams – but I had eventually gained something greater. _Her_. And for the first time, seeing my previous mortality anew, I felt lucky to trade in a human lifetime for an eternity with the woman I loved.

It was harder and harder to remain in the painful memories, but I did, determined to watch Bella until I had her back in my arms. And she surprised me. My Bella had a large, loving heart, and she grew attached to people easily. I knew my family was no exception, and I expected, as they began to pass, that I would need to comfort her. But she never cracked. She was the one to comfort me, to calm me, to care for my mother, even to cook when the servants needed the sleep. I felt a swell of pride, seeing her so strong and capable, so…grown-up. And yet it came with a strange unease, forcing me to wonder what had inspired that strength…and I had to admit that I wanted her to need me in difficult times.

My memories soon turned dark again. Bella's care had done a great deal to improve my state of mind since my father's death, but everything turned on its head when I walked into my mother's room to find her in the state my father had died in.

_I'd never been so scared in my life. I hated to leave my mother alone in the hospital, but the doctors gave me no choice. I could only turn to Bella once more, though I felt guilty placing so much of my burden upon her. I couldn't help it. She was all I had, and I needed her strength._

"…_don't think," she said, "Just feel. Focus on here and now."_

_And her lips made me forget everything. I knew I should stop; I had promised I would treat her the way she deserved. But she was offering everything, and I didn't want to let go of the feeling her warm kisses gave me._

_I was nervous. My knowledge about this intimate act was incredibly limited – I simply knew the basics of which parts went where. I'd always avoided hearing about it when the boys at school would joke and laugh about their experiences. My father had told me it was nothing I needed to know about until my wedding night, and so he'd refrained from explaining…and now he never would._

_Bella seemed to know enough for the both of us, but I didn't ask how. If she had been with someone else before, I didn't want to know, and I didn't know if there was a way to tell. That was one of the things I'd never learned. What mattered was that she was mine now, in my arms and wearing my ring, and she loved me enough to stay with me in this terrible time._

_Her body was the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on, more beautiful than any Grecian goddess, more beautiful than any Italian master had ever painted. I could revel in her skin for hours, trace the soft curves of her breasts and hips, delight in her trembling form._

_She showed me where to touch her, and I felt the most powerful surge of arousal at the sight of her reaction, her open mouth as she gasped and the arch of her back. My finger slipped into her opening, and the feeling of her flesh all around me drove me past the point of waiting. I needed to be within her so desperately, but I didn't know how to voice that desire._

_She seemed to know without being told, and somehow, through my fumbling and embarrassment, I still found myself in her arms, inside of her, into the greatest, most blissful feeling I'd ever known._

The images in my mind were so vivid, so fresh that I was surprised not to find myself sweating with the intensity. How naïve I had been, and so damned lucky. It had been everything I could have ever wanted or needed to lose myself completely in her, moving, touching, kissing without thought.

I was envious of my past. I wanted her here with me now; I wanted to be able to feel that way with her. To experience everything for the first time with her instead of witnessing it through the sordid thoughts of others.

Try as I might, I couldn't merge the new memories filtering in with my own past. I couldn't feel like the person having those experiences when I was here seeing them for the first time.

I knew I wouldn't feel right again until Bella was with me, where I could see her and touch her and _talk_ to her. I needed answers from her lips. I needed her reassurance. I needed more than ever to know her thoughts and feelings.

But I couldn't shake the nagging fear that she wouldn't come back in any state to provide those things.


	23. Chapter 23

**Title:** Only Human (23/27)

**Author: **Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

Carlisle couldn't come for two more hours because of the sun. Edward was still strong enough to get up to bed with my help, though he stumbled. I tucked him in, pained at the sight of his shivering body.

"You should go," he choked. "You could become sick as well. Go to the country house –"

"It's too late for that," I murmured, brushing his damp hair back. "Besides, I can't leave you now. My friend Carlisle is coming to help us. He'll help me get you to the hospital."

"Hospital…and then you go," he insisted. His hand clutched mine with surprising strength.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Carlisle will convince them to let me stay. I won't leave until I absolutely have to."

"You're so damned stubborn," he sighed, wearily closing his eyes. "No sense of self-preservation."

"Just accept it," I said with a small smile. "Let me do what I have to do."

Eventually, he fell into a fitful sleep. I stayed beside him, alternately applying a cool washcloth to his forehead and wrapping my body around his to try to ease his chills. Just after sunset, Carlisle appeared in the doorway. He'd let himself in the house. It was comforting, in a weird way, to have a vampire around again with all his vampire peculiarities. It reminded me of home.

"I've arranged a cot for him next to his mother. She'll be devastated. She talked to me for hours last night about him when she found out I knew you."

Another crack formed in my heart. "You told me, in the future, that she'd worn herself down trying to care for him. That she might have survived, had she not tried to nurse him as well."

"I can't say I'm surprised," Carlisle said. "He is all she's living for at this point. She has very little choice. To fight for him is to fight for herself. I think you can understand that."

"Of course," I breathed. "It's just…so hard to watch, and do nothing."

"I know," Carlisle agreed ruefully. "But we do what we can. Let's get Edward to the car, shall we?"

There was really no "we" about it. Carlisle lifted him from the bed as easily as he would have picked up a pillow. Edward looked so small and frail in Carlisle's arms, and he shivered violently at the cold touch. I finally started to cry. Was this how Edward had felt, seeing me injured on the floor of that ballet studio? So helpless, unable to protect the one person that mattered most.

Carlisle placed Edward in the back seat, and I joined him, cradling his head in my lap. He was half-awake now but not really conscious. He mumbled nonsense and clutched the folds of my skirt. I tried to keep my tears from touching him.

"Carlisle?"

His eyes lifted to look at me in the mirror. "Yes, Bella?"

"Why does it happen so fast?" I asked. Just hours ago, he'd been happy, we'd been flirting and joking like everything was normal. And now…now I wasn't sure he even knew my name.

"That I can't say for sure," Carlisle replied. "The disease causes pneumonia. Bleeding into the lungs. That's what kills so fast. But why it comes on so suddenly, I can't say. It's simply…a very aggressive illness."

"Will he suffer much?" I had to know.

Carlisle sighed. "If he remains alert, he may. But if he remains in this state…I doubt he'll ever realize what's happening."

"And…you will change him, won't you?"

"If and when the time comes that it's apparent he won't survive without my help, then yes, I will change him."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

The hospital was much quieter than it had been the day before…had it really only been a day since we'd admitted Elizabeth? Everything was moving so quickly, it was hard to keep up.

Carlisle carried Edward right in, not bothering with the stretcher a nurse offered to obtain. I scrambled along behind him, weaving through the maze of cots that filled the lower floor. I assumed the second story looked much the same. It was a horrible environment. Clearly, the nurses and doctors couldn't keep up with the patients – the odors of blood, sweat, and neglected bedpans filled the air, making it stifling. I breathed through my mouth, struggling to ignore the stench.

Against the far wall, I saw Elizabeth's cot. Her bronze hair stuck out easily among all the white linens. The makeshift bed next to her was empty, waiting for Edward. And she was awake to see us bring him in.

"Edward!" She was too weak to cry out very loudly, but the pain was evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry," I said to her, tears still streaming down my face, as Carlisle settled Edward onto his cot and covered him with the blankets provided.

"It's not your fault," she managed, eyes locked on Edward's shivering frame.

"We'll do everything possible for him," Carlisle promised. Somewhere, he'd retrieved a stethoscope and was now listening to Edward's lungs.

"Is there any way I can stay?" I asked him. I didn't particularly intend to move from my spot between his and Elizabeth's cot, no matter what anyone said.

Carlisle nodded. "I'll make sure nobody bothers you."

"Thank you," I breathed.

Carlisle had to leave to make his rounds but he somehow obtained for me a chair first – it barely fit between the cots – and the supplies necessary to care for Edward and Elizabeth. In exchange for my being allowed to stay, they would be in my charge. The nurses were glad, if anything, to have two fewer patients to worry about, and they found something romantic about the girl who refused to leave her dying fiancé's side. If they understood at all, they would know that there was nothing romantic about it – I simply couldn't be elsewhere when Edward was suffering. There was no choice in the matter.

I stayed awake through the long night, nursing them as best as I could. They both slept, mostly, and I could only keep cool cloths to their foreheads to try to lower their fevers. Elizabeth would wake occasionally, and I would ply her with water – the only thing the doctor had ever recommended to me for the flu – but Edward never left his feverish haze.

As dawn approached, I fell asleep slumped in the rickety wooden chair, no longer able to fight my exhaustion. It wasn't a restful sleep. My dreams were haunted by the hundreds of suffering victims around me, their cries echoing in my mind.

When I woke scant hours later, I found Elizabeth hovering over Edward's cot, trying to coax him into drinking. He only spluttered in response, struggling in his fever-induced delusions.

"I'd tell you that you should be resting, but I know you wouldn't listen," I said. Elizabeth looked up with a grim smile. Her face was so worn, it made me want to cry.

"He's my son," she said simply. "If he survives, anything that happens to me is an acceptable cost."

"Rest now," I suggested. "At least while I'm awake? He wouldn't want you to exert yourself like this. The cost wouldn't be acceptable to him."

"You're right," she agreed reluctantly, handing me the cup of water. "I hate this feeling that there's nothing I can do, though. It's easier when I'm doing…something."

I helped her back onto her own cot; she moved shakily. "I know how you feel. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be much we can do about it."

"The worst kind of problem," Elizabeth sighed as she lay back into her pillow. "You'll wake me? If anything –"

"Of course," I promised.

She fell into an exhausted sleep, and I forced myself to wake up fully, to do the things that needed to be done. I went to get cool water again and some broth to try to feed them, should they wake. I didn't want to have to leave them more than necessary.

They day went slowly. For the most part, I tried to keep their foreheads and necks cool and watched them sleep. Elizabeth was more restful; her fever remained manageable, but Edward…Edward soaked his sheets with sweat as he tossed and turned. It was…horrible. Worse than watching Jane torture him in Volterra, even. Pain was something my Edward could handle; he was nearly invincible. But the boy in the bed was fragile, human, and so very…breakable.

Sometime in the afternoon, Edward came back to reality, just for a little while. It was enough for him to reach out to me, to smile up at me as I hovered over his bed.

"How long have you been here?" he asked.

I tried to force some broth into his mouth as I replied. "Nearly twenty-four hours."

He swallowed with a frown. "Have you slept?"

"A little." I forced another spoonful upon him.

"Bella…you should go home…rest. I won't have you lying in the hospital, too." Seeing him trying to be protective when he was so clearly helpless made my stomach twist unhappily.

"You know me better than that."

Edward sighed. "If I don't make it, Bella, I need to know you're safe." His eyes pleaded with me; I flinched away.

"Don't worry about me right now. You need to concentrate on getting better –"

"The safe, at the house," he interrupted, gripping my hand to keep me from silencing him with soup; his palm was sweaty. "The combination is eight-one-seven-five, please, promise you'll remember. I left as much money as I could…"

"Shh," I insisted. "I'll remember, I promise. Please, Edward. I don't want to think about that now."

"Bella…we'll still get married one day…" he mumbled. His eyes were glazed, and I knew I was losing him again. "In a beautiful meadow…"

My tears splashed, too hot, on my hand. "Yes, Edward. We will. I promise you."

He didn't speak again, drawn once again under the fever's spell. I sat helplessly at his side, knowing nothing I did would ease this suffering. So I cried. It was acceptable, here between two sleeping patients, still gripping his hand. Edward wouldn't see me this way; it didn't matter if I let the emotions run out the only way they knew how.

I jumped when I felt a warm hand cover mine comfortingly. I looked up to see Elizabeth awake and watching me with understanding.

"My son is dying," she said. If it had been a question, I might have urged her to be hopeful, that they all had a chance. But it wasn't a question; she knew the truth as well as I did, and it was evident in her eyes.

"But you," she went on. "You know a way to save him."

I gasped. "What – what makes you think –"

"When I first saw you," she explained very carefully, "I noticed two things. The first was that you loved my son. The look in your eyes could not be mistaken for anything less. And the second was that you wore my engagement ring. I might have thought you a thief, if I hadn't had the ring on my own finger."

"Oh," I breathed, my heart fluttering nervously. I had managed to hide who I was so well from Edward, but Elizabeth had known I had a secret all along.

"I could only imagine one way you would have the very same ring – that my son had given it to you, after I was gone…in the future."

I didn't know what to say to her, where to start explaining.

"You don't have to say anything," she went on. "It's probably better if you don't. But your friend – the doctor. The strange one. You know him from your time, don't you? And he's the one that can keep my son alive."

I nodded slowly, amazed. Was this how Edward felt at my easy reaction to the world of vampires? I couldn't believe Elizabeth was talking to me about time-travel as if it were a topic as commonplace as the weather.

"Good," she sighed, closing her eyes once more. "As long as he'll be saved, I can rest easy."

When she was asleep, I let the tears fall once more.


	24. Chapter 24

**Title:** Only Human (24/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

Carlisle returned after sunset and came straight to us, checking over Edward and Elizabeth.

"What's the prognosis?" I asked quietly to avoid waking them.

"It's not wonderful," Carlisle sighed as he removed his stethoscope. "Edward's condition appears to be mostly unchanged, but Mrs. Masen… Her lungs are worse. It sounds like there's more fluid there than yesterday. And her fever is higher."

"I think she's given up," I told him. His eyes were sorrowful but resigned, a darkening brown. He obviously hadn't taken time to hunt lately.

"It happens too often," he said. "As much as she's lost and stands to lose, I can imagine how easy it would be."

For a moment, he looked as though he was speaking from experience, and I wondered if he was remembering his first days as a vampire, how he'd unsuccessfully tried to destroy himself. Again, I marveled at the strength of character that had urged him to keep living, to help others, to withstand over two-hundred years of loneliness. As much as I mourned the loss of Edward's human life, a part of me was glad that he would be with Carlisle soon. No one as good as Carlisle deserved to be alone for so long.

"Have you considered leaving the hospital for a bit?" Carlisle suggested. "You won't help anyone by exhausting yourself."

I shook my head. "I can't, Carlisle." I'd had this argument before. "How can I go home to bed, knowing that he's here and I might lose him at any moment?"

"You might at least consider leaving for a few moments to obtain some decent food," he said ruefully. "What they have here smells so bad that I'm reluctant to feed it to the patients."

I laughed shakily. "I'll consider it." But we both knew I would never go.

With Carlisle back, I relaxed a little, and I was able to sleep again. I woke several times during the night, my body aching with stiffness from the hard chair. I would stretch out the kinks and soon sleep would find me again. I was so tired that it was inevitable.

Close to dawn, a strange, rattling sound kept me from drifting to sleep again. I looked around for the source until I realized it was Elizabeth. Her breath was the sound as the fluid in her lungs hindered the flow of air. I winced as I caught sight of her pained eyes.

"Is there anything I can do?" I whispered to her.

Her head shook and she struggled to speak. "There's nothing to be done now."

The knowledge that she was absolutely right settled on my shoulders like a lead weight.

The day that followed brought no improvements. Edward's skin grew even hotter, in spite of the constant care I tried to give him. I'd known all along that he would likely be unable to withstand the disease, that perhaps he wasn't _supposed_ to overcome it, but I hadn't been at all prepared for him to waste away before my eyes.

I tried to tend to Elizabeth as well, but she continually pushed me away. "Take care of Edward," she insisted repeatedly. I wanted to urge her not to give up, but how could I argue with a mother's love?

Nevertheless, Edward continued to worsen as sunset approached.

I had slumped to the floor to rest a moment, laying my head down on the side of Edward's cot, when I heard Elizabeth struggling to speak again.

"Dr. Cullen…"

I froze, not looking up. I wanted to hear what she would say to Carlisle, and some instinct told me not to interrupt.

"Mrs. Masen?"

"Save him!" It was the strongest her voice had been all day, but anyone could hear what it cost her.

Carlisle's voice wouldn't have sounded flustered to anyone unused to hearing it. "I'll do everything in my power," he told her.

"You must! You must do everything in your power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward."

I clutched the edge of the cot, knowing for the first time exactly how much time I had. Carlisle had told me that Elizabeth had died less than an hour after making her request. She had lost consciousness and never recovered. After she died, he would take Edward from the hospital.

I looked up to Carlisle, whose eyes were somber.

"There's not much time left," I whispered.

"No," he agreed. "Are you prepared for this?"

"There's no way I could be prepared," I sighed.

"No, I don't suppose there is. I'm going to make my rounds. I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Okay." I wanted to ask him to stay; I was afraid to be left alone to face Elizabeth's impending death. I could only hope he would return before that moment.

I held onto Edward's hand as I listened to Elizabeth's ragged breathing. The inhales and exhales grew quicker and quicker as she struggled to take in enough oxygen. It was painful to listen to. I clutched Edward's hand tighter, though he took no notice. Suddenly, I felt desperately alone. I would have given anything to have my unbreakable Edward with me now.

I thought the time would pass quickly, the way it does when a dreaded event approaches, but each minute felt like an hour, filled with the sounds of suffering.

When she suddenly gasped for air, I felt as though my heart had stopped. I said Carlisle's name aloud, hoping he would hear wherever he was. It took him a minute to return, to remove himself from whatever he was doing. By the time he arrived, limited to a human pace, it was all over.

Carlisle leaned over her, checking for a pulse. When he found none, he turned back to my tear-streaked face and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'll have to take her to the morgue now. Then…then I'll come back for Edward."

I nodded my agreement. This was the way it had to be. I was long past fighting it. I watched as Carlisle wheeled the cot away and then turned back to Edward. I studied him intently now, knowing it was only a matter of time before he was bitten and began the transformation into the Edward I would meet in 2005. His face was flushed, streaks of red riding high on his cheeks. His face was so soft, just hiding the chiseled jaw and high cheekbones that the transformation would reveal. Sweet as a cherub now, soon to be a fallen angel.

Carlisle returned a little more hesitantly than he'd left. "Bella? Do you think you can get back to my house by yourself?"

"Yes," I nodded. After this, I didn't care much about the danger the dark streets posed. How could I survive this ordeal only to die on the street?

Carlisle rolled Edward away after his mother. It physically pained me to see him go, but I picked myself up off the floor and made my way to the front exit. I saw nurses looking sympathetically at me out of the corner of my eye, but I kept my head down. It was easier that way.

I was less than ten paces from the door when a hand darted out from one of the beds and caught the edge of my skirt. I started in fear. The hysterical hallucinations of the fevered victims could come to all kinds of insanity. I had a different kind of shock, however, when I looked over and realized I recognized the face, pale and drawn though it was.

"Norman!"

"Bella." His voice was harsh. He looked awful. His blonde hair looked brown, soaked as it was with sweat, and his breath rattled, much as Elizabeth's had in her final hours. I winced. Whether or not I liked Norman, I wouldn't wish this fate upon him.

"Bella," he said again. "I want to apologize."

"Apologize?" I hadn't expected it.

"For the way I treated you. The things I said. For trying to ruin your happiness. So sorry."

I stared in shock momentarily, trying to process the change in his behavior. But I supposed the prospect of dying had a way of changing people…especially those with cause for a guilty conscience.

"I forgive you," I finally said. He hadn't done any harm in the end…whether he would have or not, I couldn't say for certain. But there wasn't any point in holding grudges now that everything had changed.

"Thank you," he sighed, closing his eyes and releasing my skirt. I left then. I might have stayed longer out of pity at any other time…but Edward and Carlisle were waiting.

Outside, the streets were quiet as the grave. I wasn't surprised. Anyone who wasn't already sick would be best served staying out of the path of danger. I hurried through the darkness. I passed a few lone figures, some ill, some not, but nobody bothered me. I was thankful; I couldn't handle much more this evening.

Carlisle met me at the front door and hurried me inside. I heard a moan from upstairs and winced.

"I did it already," Carlisle explained. "I was…afraid he wouldn't last long enough for you to arrive. I didn't want to take any chances. Besides, it's probably safer that you weren't present."

"Right," I agreed. "Can I stay with him? Do you mind?"

"No, of course not," Carlisle smiled kindly. "Perhaps we can keep you a bit more comfortable here. You must be exhausted."

"I can't really tell right now," I said ruefully.

Carlisle led me up the stairs to one of the normally unused bedrooms. Edward was on top of the covers, writhing in pain. His fingers dug into the bed beneath him, his body tensed with the strain of holding in his cries. I ran, stumbling, to his side. I assumed Carlisle remained, but I couldn't be sure.

"Edward? Edward, it's going to be okay," I promised, afraid to reach out and touch him, lest I cause him more pain. "Dr. Cullen will take care of you."

His eyes flashed open to meet mine, lips trembling. "B-Bella?" He barely got my name out before the sound turned into a tortured cry. His eyes held nothing but pain and fear, and I wished I'd found a way to warn him, to prepare him, to let him know that this would all be worthwhile in the end.

"Yes, Edward, I'm here," I said, tentatively touching his face. He didn't flinch but pressed into my hand.

"A-am I…dying?"

"No," I said quickly. "No, just changing. The pain will go away, and you'll be just fine."

"Stay," he pleaded. "Stay with me."

"Of course." I wouldn't have it any other way.


	25. Chapter 25

**Title:** Only Human (25/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

I slept off and on, lying on the bed next to Edward. I could never stay asleep for long – though it was more comfortable than the chair in the hospital had been, Edward's occasional cries would wake me. He never fully screamed, fighting to hold the sounds in, but I had a feeling it was only a matter of time.

Carlisle was thoughtful enough to bring me food, enough to feed several people, but I was grateful for every bite. It had been several days since I'd eaten more than a nibble here or there. Still, it was hard to feel comfortable or content when Edward was in so much pain.

Would he hate me for this? I couldn't blame him if he did – his pain was clearly excruciating, and the sight of it caused a harsh ache in my chest. I would gladly trade places with him if it could save his life, but of course, it could never be that easy. And I knew what he would think of himself once he learned what he would become…another reason for him to resent me. I could very easily be ruining everything.

I tried to imagine what he would say if I could ask him, but I could come up with nothing…and I hated that helplessness. Surely I should know what my own husband would want. Whether he would prefer death to becoming a vampire…whether he would curse me for not preventing all of this…I wanted my suspense to be over with. I wanted to be with him, even if he would spurn me in the next instant.

"What's troubling you, Bella?" I jumped, startled. I hadn't heard Carlisle come into the room; usually he made a little noise to announce his presence. Evidently, the turmoil in my mind was written on my face.

"Do you think he'll hate me for this? He's always despised himself for what he is…what if he can't forgive me for coming back in time, knowing what would happen and not doing a thing to prevent it?"

Carlisle took the chair beside the bed, frowning thoughtfully. "Bella, I've wandered this earth for over two hundred years now, and while I may lack personal experience, I think I can safely say from observation that most people would do anything to keep hold of the kind of love you show for young Edward. Perhaps Edward will come to hate what he is – but I don't think he'll mind so much when that leads him to you."

"Would you feel the same?" I asked desperately.

Carlisle shrugged. "I've come to terms with what I am – but keep in mind that I'm already older than your Edward will be when you meet him in the future. I don't mind my life. It's not exactly what I would wish, but I accept my limitations…and I hope. I hope that one day, my work will be rewarded. That one day, I'll have more than a reason to go on living, but a reason to enjoy life as well."

"You will," I promised him, inspired as always by Carlisle's story. I hoped that Edward would one day find such peace, even if he couldn't forgive me immediately for my part in his fate.

"Thank you, Bella," he sighed. "That knowledge will sustain me."

Edward cried out then, and I devoted all my attention to him.

Twenty-four hours passed, and he continued to struggle against his pain, to keep it inside, though he didn't seem to have a rational reason to do so. I could tell he no longer recognized me – perhaps he tried not to scream simply for something to focus on other than the pain.

I did my best to soothe him with cool water, afraid to stray too far from his side. I ate again, and fell asleep curled up against him. When nearly 48 hours had passed, I woke to a sharp scream and a pain in my arm. I realized Edward was grasping my wrist for dear life, his fingers unnaturally and dangerously tight around the small bones. I couldn't ask him to let go, however. I waited for him to relax a bit, and he finally loosened his clasp.

I could barely stand to watch, but I couldn't turn away. His eyes remained open wide, unseeing and edged with terror. The tendons in his neck and arms stood out as he strained against the venom coursing through him. His nails tore holes in the bedspread beneath him.

The very core of me protested against seeing him this way, but I couldn't deny the small, scared part of me that watched this with fear for myself. I knew now, without a doubt, what I would experience if Edward kept his word and changed me. I had proof in the worst way of everything Edward had warned me of – how I would experience a pain so thorough that I would wish for death before the end.

Was I ready? Everything within me cringed away from the idea of that much pain, but when I remembered my reasoning – _for Edward_ – the fear was tamed from a snarling leopard to a clawing kitten. It was more than manageable. I could survive this much pain for an eternity with the person who made my world turn.

The last day was by far the worst. Edward cried out continuously, growing hoarse but never ceasing. Carlisle told me his internal organs would be shutting down now, and that would cause him excruciating pain.

I took advantage of those last, long hours, lying close to him, feeling his fading warmth as the flow of blood slowed, listening to his ragged breaths and raging heartbeat as it fought against his ailing body. Even knowing exactly what he would be like after the transformation, even knowing I would love him just as deeply, it broke my heart to see the changes in progress, to know his sweet, boyish innocence would never return.

Edward's fingers clutched at me involuntarily, curling into the folds of my clothing, clenching and unclenching with pain. He bruised me, but I couldn't move from my place against him, nor did I turn away when his screams turned to sobs and he wept in agony.

Carlisle came back into the room as the sun began to set on the third day.

"You'll need to leave, Bella," he told me regretfully. "His heartbeat is growing dangerously slow. His transformation will likely end within an hour or two, and I'm sure you know what will happen if you're here when he wakes."

"Yes…yes, of course," I answered dazedly. Truthfully, I'd put this moment far out of my mind. I'd known it would come, but had never thought about it. Now what? Now that my time with Edward was clearly done, what would I do? Where would I go? I no longer had a place to stay; I had no money, nothing…

"Everything will happen as it should," Carlisle promised me, reading my worried expression. He held out a pile of bills to me. "Should you find yourself unable to return to your own time, this should sustain you for several months, at the very least. But I believe you _will_ find your way back, where you belong."

"Thank you." I didn't protest against taking the money. I might very well need it, and I wasn't at all sure I had the survival skills necessary for this time period. "And thank you for everything you've done, Carlisle."

"Of course," he replied with a nod. "I should be thanking you, I think."

"If – if he remembers me, when he wakes, tell him I love him. That I always will."

"I will," he promised. "I'll keep him safe for you."

"Thank you." I turned back to Edward, who remained oblivious to the exchange. I pressed my lips to the already-hardening skin of his cheek. "Wait for me," I whispered before placing another, final kiss on his lips.

It took all my strength to leave him there, knowing what he would have to face without me – the expanse of years between us, the time he would spend trying to cope with what he had become, the time he would waste trying to protect me from himself…I hated to leave him to those long years alone. I hated the fear that, should I never return to my own time, this would be the last time I saw his face.

"Carlisle, if I can't get back –" I began to say as he walked me down the stairs.

"If you're still here a week from now, call me," he said. "We'll…we'll work something out."

"All right," I agreed, stepping tentatively out the front door. "I guess…if you don't hear from me, this is goodbye."

"A farewell," he countered, smiling. "We will see each other again, one way or another."

"Right. Farewell, then."

I felt his eyes remain watching me as I went down the street. Only when I was out of sight of the house did the tears begin to fall. Edward…my Edward. Human or vampire, he was always mine, but the happy ending always seemed to be one step out of reach. We'd been so very happy before all this, fresh from our honeymoon, on the brink of a bright new eternity…and now it was all thrown into shadow again, made even more painful by the fact that he was out of reach to me – both in this time, and in the future I couldn't find my way back to.

I let my feet lead the way; my eyes were blind with tears, and my mind was oblivious. I wandered lost in my sorrow. My scene of grief was nothing out of the ordinary in this time, in this city, and no one approached me or hindered me.

Some time later – it could have been minutes or hours or days, for all that I was paying attention – I ran out of tears and came to a stop in the middle of the street.

As I looked around, I realized I'd been here before. The first time, it had been busy, full of shoppers and workers. It was much bleaker today, with only the occasionally person scurrying down the road in transit to another location; no one lingered but me. Nevertheless, I recognized the buildings, the exact view around me. I was in precisely the place I had arrived in this time, just the place where I'd turned around to find Edward looking back at me.

Was it fate that had brought me here? Had my subconscious decided to return to this place? Or was it all a coincidence that I'd wandered back to the place where I'd started?

Did it even matter? No matter where I went in this time, it would never take me back to 2006, to the Forks I knew, to my Edward, to the life I'd left behind and was desperate to return to. There was nothing and no one that could help me now.

I sank to the brick-paved street in despair, curling in on myself, wrapping my arms around my knees. What was the point of it all if I couldn't go back now? Could Fate really be so cruel?

I closed my eyes and dreamed of cold hands on my face and gentle lips, of a voice like honey and a crooked smile. The thought only made me ache harder, tormented by what I didn't have.

_I wish I could go back to my own time. I wish I could go back to my own life_.

And then I opened my eyes.


	26. Chapter 26

**Title:** Only Human (26/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

* * *

I hadn't expected anything to change. I had assumed I would open my eyes to the same Chicago skyline I'd been looking at all along. And yet, when I opened me eyes this time, I wasn't in Chicago. I wasn't outside. I was in a room, a very familiar room, with a long table which had eight seats around it.

The Cullens' dining room table. And I was sitting at the end of it, just where I'd left.

I leapt from the seat before the idea had fully registered and went running into the living room. "Edward!" I cried. "Edward!"

Before I could begin to fear that they'd gone away in my absence, he was there before me, disheveled and tense and beautiful. I threw myself into his arms even as he scooped me up, clutching me to his chest where I was happy to stay.

"Oh, Edward! Edward, I was so scared; I didn't know what I should do, what you would want…" I babbled, once again reduced to tears as I buried my head in his shoulder. He didn't seem to hear much of anything, only continued to murmur again and again, "Thank God, thank God…"

Within seconds, the room was full with the Cullen family. I heard them all, their cries of relief, their touches to my arms in greeting – they might have hugged me, had Edward shown any intention of letting me go. For now, I was too caught up to pay them much attention.

"Let's give them some time, shall we?" I heard Carlisle's voice say over the chatter, quieting the room instantly. Edward took that as his cue to move us up the stairs, up to the bedroom that had for a long time been as much mine as his.

"You came back," he sighed into my hair as he pushed the door open and kicked it shut behind him. "You came back to me…"

"I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to," I sniffled, content to be held for as long as he refused to put me down. "I didn't know how…"

"How did you get back?" he asked as he finally set me down on the edge of the bed. He didn't go far, lingering at my side. "I couldn't see that part."

"I made another wish," I said, unable to take my eyes off his face. "I guess that was what did it…or perhaps I was simply done there and the wish I made triggered something…I don't know. One moment I was there, and the next, I was back in the dining room. …What do you mean, you couldn't see that part?"

He didn't seem capable of not touching me now as his fingers trailed over my face, my neck. "Every moment you were in my past, new memories formed – not replacing the originals, but creating a new layer. I saw everything up to the point that I caught the flu…then everything went dark."

My breath caught in my throat. "You know everything that happened, then."

"Yes," he nodded slowly. I waited for more, but he didn't offer anything, and his eyes gave away nothing.

"How…how do you feel about all of it?" I asked him, uncertain. It _felt_ like he still wanted me, loved me, but I was afraid to take anything for granted.

He frowned thoughtfully, staring me down with golden eyes. "I feel…conflicted. Grateful. Jealous. Frightened."

"Frightened?" That surprised me. What did _he_ have to be frightened of?

His hands fell away from me as he looked down at his lap. "Yes, frightened. While I could see everything, I had no way of knowing for sure how you felt, how much of what you said was true…I couldn't be sure if you would still want to come back to me, knowing…knowing what could have been."

I shook my head in disbelief. "You thought I would want to stay? Edward…I love you. Every part of you – past, present, and future. What I want hasn't changed at all. I won't settle for anything less than an eternity with you."

His eyes turned hopefully back to me. "I just…I couldn't help fearing that you would prefer me human. That you would want to have the life and the family that I can't offer you now, or that you would find it…physically preferable…"

I laughed aloud in relief. He didn't hate me; he'd been back here swept up in his own insecurities. "Oh, silly vampire. Don't you know you haven't changed at all?"

"I should hope there have been a few changes in 90-odd years," he said wryly.

"A few," I agreed as I sidled closer, "But all the things that matter are the same. Did you really think I could let go of everything I have here that easily? That everything we've survived to get to this point would be for nothing?"

"I didn't know what to think," he admitted. His fingers trailed gently through my hair. "I had no way to ask you."

"I'm sorry," I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. "It must have been awful for you, watching that for months and not knowing…"

"Actually," he amended, "It was only a few days for me."

I blinked, glancing up at his amused eyes. "But I was in the past for over two months."

"From my calculations, each day that you were gone lasted an hour for me. You were missing for a little less than three days."

I gaped. "Well…I guess that's good, then…"

"I think it's good," he sighed, pulling me against him. "I couldn't have watched that for months…"

"Was it really that bad?" I asked, wrapping my arms as tightly as I could about him.

He hesitated. "I don't know how to describe it. I was…jealous of myself. I was viewing my own memories, but they were all new to me – I didn't feel as though I'd already experienced these things and was reliving them. It felt like experiencing them through someone else entirely…and when I watched my past self falling in love with you, kissing you, touching you…I wanted it to be _me_, even though, technically…it was."

I winced. "I worried, at first, that I was…betraying you, somehow. But…the longer I was in the past, the more I felt like I _was_ with you. I can't make the separation in my mind anymore."

"It's okay," he said. "Now that I know how you feel, what you were thinking…I'm not afraid anymore."

"I'm glad," I sighed. "I'm so relieved."

"Relieved? What were you afraid of?"

"That you would hate me for not changing the past when I had the chance. For not saving you from getting sick and becoming a vampire…"

He kissed my temple, smiling. "Who's the silly one now? Don't you know you never would have convinced me to change my plans? Furthermore, I wouldn't want any of it changed. I should have let you know that much a long time ago, but your presence in my life changed everything. I'm happy I was changed, if only for the chance to meet you…and now, to know that I was being preserved for a time when I could be with you again…that brings the puzzle together perfectly."

"I'm amazed that I didn't change anything…I was afraid I'd come back and find my whole future destroyed."

"You changed things in small ways," he said. "The history is very subtly different, but only on my side. I didn't remember much after my transformation, only your face and that I had loved you. Carlisle very carefully kept any thought of you from his mind, lest he give away the future to me. When I met you, after the bloodlust had passed somewhat, I realized you had the same face as the one I'd loved…I didn't know what to make of it. It gave me more reason than ever to try to stay away from you, though – how could I drag you into my world? When I did give in to temptation, I didn't dare say anything – it was crazy enough for you to accept me for what I was. I wasn't about to tell you that I'd known you in 1918."

I frowned. "But then, shouldn't you have understood what happened when I disappeared?"

Edward shrugged. "That's where it all gets a bit fuzzy, because I still have overlapping memories up until the point where you return. But I was still very worried – I may have known where you were, but I still had no way of knowing for sure that you would be safe or that you would come back."

"I'm glad I'm back," I murmured, trying to burrow deeper into his embrace. "I don't regret the experience – I've learned so much from it. But it was scary, not knowing what would happen to me or how I might change things."

"You're not sad at all?" he asked. He held my left hand and was looking pointedly at the sapphire engagement right still on my finger.

"Not for myself, no," I answered as I moved the ring to my right hand and pulled the other rings out of my pocket, putting them back in their proper place. "I'm sad that I couldn't give you what you wanted right away – I'm sad you had to wait so long for me. But if anything, being in the past only made me love you more, seeing how much of your humanity is still there, even after all you've been through. I understand so much more now, and I'm ready. I'm ready for forever with you."

"I love you," he sighed, brushing his lips over each of my hands – both wearing his rings. Then he placed his hands on either side of my face and kissed my lips. I melted, sinking happily into the familiar sensation. It was good to kiss him again without any secrets or fears tumbling around my head. Now it was just me and Edward, as it should be.

"Don't stop," I whimpered as he pulled away, clutching at his shoulders. "It's been so long for me. I want to feel you here with me."

"I don't want to stop," he breathed. His eyes were like melting caramel as he idly stroked my cheek, staring at me as if trying to memorize my face. "Even three days without you is far too many."

We fell as one back onto the bed as our lips met again. I savored his cool breath and flawlessly smooth skin as we kissed languidly, both of us drifting in the moment like river fronds flowing in the current. His body hovered strong and heavy above me, protective and possessive.

I reached out for him, working my hands under his shirt as my lips clung to his. His soft hum of pleasure tickled my skin. "Touch me," I begged, even as I ran my hands up his back, palming the marble skin.

His hands answered my request, diving under my skirt to flatten over my thighs. His cool touch on my skin felt like a homecoming. I nearly wept.

"More, please," I sighed, arching my body up to his. "Take it off."

Edward surprised me by pulling me up into a seated position and swiftly moved behind me to unfasten my buttons. He parted the garment slowly and then pushed it carefully off my shoulders, leaving a trail of soft kisses as he did so. I melted against him, dizzy with want, and his arms came around me from behind.

"Do you have any idea what it does to me to undress you when you're wearing these clothes?" he breathed into my ear. "I feel like a fumbling teenager again."

"You were pretty good as a fumbling teenager," I remarked, my breath hitching as his fingers trailed over the hint of cleavage revealed by my undergarments.

"I really am grateful, you know," he said as he maneuvered around to face me. "For everything you gave me by going back." His eyes were limitless, gentle and sincere. I couldn't help touching his face, stroking down the hard line of his jaw.

"I love you so much," I said, the words bubbling up unbidden. "I don't think I tell you enough. It seems so obvious to me."

He pulled me back to him then, brushing kisses against my lips, across my face and down my neck. "Oh, my Isabella," he murmured, still drawing our bodies closer. "How could I live one day without you?"

I clung to him, letting him lift me up to push the dress from my hips. I used the moment to work open the buttons of his shirt. It was a sweet thrill to tug it from his shoulders and put my hands on the wide expanse of skin now exposed. He sighed in deep contentment, still dragging his drugging kisses over my shoulders.

"Edward," I pleaded, "I want more…"

He seemed to read all my desires like words off a page, along with my impatience. I couldn't help it – I'd gone nearly three months without him, months of constant anxiety, and I wanted to lose myself in him now, to regain that sense of utter happiness and peace that came from making love to Edward.

Carefully, he lifted my chemise, baring my chest to his gaze. He touched me reverently, so gently and painstakingly tracing the curves of my breasts with his long, graceful fingers. I trembled, drunk on sensation. I felt him pull away from me, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that he had removed his clothing. I drank in the sight of him, too much perfection for mortal eyes. Maybe when I was like him, I would be able to take him all in at once – but I doubted it.

I reached out for him, and he came back to me, bringing our bodies together. I shivered at the electrifying touch of our skin, feeling currents of pleasure already running through me at the simple contact. Surely no one else had ever felt quite like this; surely no one had ever had such a connection with another person before…

Our eyes met, and then he was lowering me to the bed, pressing my body back with his own. I waited breathlessly as his hands trailed down my body, ghosting over my breasts and my waist before settling on the tapes of my drawers. He unfastened them with easy, graceful flicks of his fingers and pulled the garment away, leaving us both bare.

His hips settled between my thighs, his eyes all the while trained on mine, saying everything that there simply weren't words to say. I felt his hand trail up my thigh and then slip between my legs, parting my folds and stroking delicately.

I whimpered his name and clutched his shoulders. His eyes locked on mine, and that was all it took for him to know I was ready. My name tumbled off his beautiful lips as he pushed inside me, even as I moaned helplessly in response.

It felt so good to have him inside me once again, to feel down to my bones that he was mine and that it would forever be this way. I could almost see the years stretching out in front of us, an eternity of bliss.

Edward pulled back, then eased into me again slowly, torturously. His arms seemed to tremble with the effort it took him to hold back, and though making love to Edward was still the best thing I'd ever felt, I looked forward to the time when he wouldn't have to restrain himself with me.

He thrust into me once more, and I lost the ability to focus on anything but his burning eyes and the sensations sweeping under my skin. He was so, so beautiful that it always took my breath away – the way his jaw would clench, his fingers fisting in the sheets, his unnecessary breath ragged, his eyes half-closed with pleasure…and I had privilege of knowing I was the only one to ever see him this way, the only one who ever would.

And the things he made me feel were beyond compare. As our bodies moved together, heat shot through my nerves, through my blood, and I couldn't get enough. It made me dizzy, made my head spin, and I had to hold tightly to Edward to stay afloat.

Edward began to move faster when he could tell I was close, and I tried to take in everything – the unbearable friction where we were joined, the chilling brush of his skin against mine, his breath on my neck as his head dropped to my shoulder, his lips moving against my skin as he whispered my name. He shifted his angle just enough that he brushed my clit as he moved, and that little change was all it took to set me off.

The warmth and pleasure broke free like a river bursting from a dam and flooded my body. Every single nerve and muscle reacted, sharing in the bliss, and as I clenched down around Edward, he cried out my name and joined me.

We were both still shaking as he moved himself off me and pulled me into his arms. My mind was hazy, but he somehow thought to pull the blankets up over us – though I noticed he'd managed to tear some holes into the sheets beneath us. I yawned deeply in spite of myself as I settled into Edward's embrace, and my eyes closed involuntarily. I felt him chuckle.

"You haven't slept properly in several days, have you? You should rest now."

"Mmm…but the others will want to know about it…and there's still more to talk about…" Despite my protests, I felt myself drifting away already.

"It can wait. We have forever, after all."

I smiled. "That reminds me. I want you to change me soon."

For the first time, he didn't tense at the mention of it. "Whenever you're ready."

"It won't be long," I promised both him and myself. "Just need to do a few things first…"

"I'll be ready, too, then," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

It was the most beautiful promise he'd ever made me, and I knew he would keep it.


	27. Epilogue

**Title:** Only Human (27/27)

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson  
**Rating:** M/NC-17  
**Category:** Drama, Angst, Romance  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Summary:** A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward.  
**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just having a little fun.

**Epilogue**

"What has you smiling like that?" Edward asked as I came out of the bathroom in our new home in northern Canada. We'd moved just two days ago and were still settling in. Charlie and Renee thought we'd left for college. I'd had to say my goodbyes to them already.

"You look relieved, almost," Edward went on.

"My period started," I told him, blushing. Menstruation was a topic we tended to avoid – it was uncomfortable on so many levels.

Edward raised an eyebrow. "You never seemed to consider it cause for celebration before."

I twisted my hands, feeling awkward. "It, uh…it means I'm not pregnant."

Comprehension flashed across his face before his expression turned unreadable. "Oh. I see."

I stood there fidgeting in the doorway, looking at him sitting on our bed. "Are you sad?" I finally asked. I was afraid this would be a disappointment to him.

"Sad that you're not pregnant? No, I have to say I'm relieved as well. I can't imagine two vampires trying to raise a human child. But I suppose I am sad for what I can never give you."

I forced myself to move, closing the distance between us. "You know all I need to be happy is you."

He smiled, reaching out to cup my cheek in his hand. "I can't imagine how that could possibly be so, but I'll take your word for it."

"Silly vampire," I sighed. "Don't you know you're all I ever wanted and more?"

He offered me a crooked grin. "Keep saying it. I'm sure it will get through my head one day."

* * *

"Are you positively sure you're ready?"

"_Edward_," I whined.

He held his arms up in surrender. "I just don't want you to have any regrets," he explained patiently.

"I'm completely certain," I promised. "Please, Edward. Waiting is just making me anxious."

"Very well," he nodded before stretching out beside me on the bed. "Carlisle will be listening outside, just in case – "

"I'm not worried," I interrupted, reaching out to touch his face one last time before my world was changed forever. "I love you."

He kissed me softly, and I couldn't help but relax completely. "My brave little Bella. I'm glad I get to keep you."

His lips pressed to mine again before they moved to hover over my throat. My heart pounded harder as he placed a gentle kiss to my neck, sanctifying the act, and then his teeth broke through my skin.

* * *

The pain ebbed away slowly, lingering in my bones for what seemed like forever. When all the aches were gone, all that was left was a strange emptiness. It took me a few moments to realize I wasn't breathing, and I struggled to make my lungs work. I felt like I'd forgotten how to live since the pain had begun.

After that much was accomplished, I tried to remember who I was. That task was more difficult. It finally came to me. _Bella Swan_. But that wasn't quite right, either…it had changed before…before…

And then a voice called to me, a voice so beautiful I would have crawled through hell just to hear it speak my name.

"_Bella…Bella, come back to me now…"_

For that voice, I forced my eyes open. And then I saw the face that went along with it, the kind of face I would have launched a thousand ships for. He smiled, and everything fell into place.

I knew this man hovering over me. He was Edward Cullen, and I loved him. That was why I was no longer Bella Swan…I was Bella Cullen now, and he had promised me forever.

And now forever had arrived.

"Edward," I breathed.

He surprised me by lifting me up into his arms, clutching me to him.

"You had me worried. I thought you would never come around."

"I couldn't remember how to breathe," I explained apologetically, burrowing into his embrace. He didn't feel cold to me anymore, or hard, but it was a pleasant change to feel warm lips grazing my temple.

He chuckled. "I'm glad you figured it out."

I pulled back to look at him again, to study the face that I realized I'd never really known before. My human eyes hadn't been powerful enough to take in his extraordinary beauty. He was studying me, too.

"Do I look very different?" I asked hopefully. I didn't imagine there would be some radical transformation – there was no way I could ever be as beautiful as Rosalie or Alice or Esme – but I'd hoped to at least look worthy to stand at Edward's side. Seeing him now, I doubted that would be the case.

"No," he shook his head. "No, you look like my beautiful Bella. Come look," he said, tugging me up from the bed. I went with him to the long dressing mirror on the closet door and found he was right. I hadn't really changed – the same features were there in front of me. Just a little more angular, a little bit enhanced.

"You look lovelier than ever," he told me, brushing the hair away from my neck to plant a kiss there. I watched him, enthralled at the image of his lips on my skin, and shocked by the feelings coursing through me – it had never been like _this_ when I was human.

I wondered if the others were home, and then I realized I should be able to hear them now if they were.

"Are we alone?" I asked him, just in case.

"Yes, the others thought we might want some privacy. They're not far, though, if you –"

I whirled around and cut him off by crushing my mouth to his. We both moaned as the kiss deepened and I pushed him back toward the bed.

"They better not come back for a few days," I said against his lips.

His laugh was short-lived as I shoved him onto the mattress.

**The End**

A/N: Yes, that is THE end. No sequel, I'm sorry. The story is told, and now it's time to move along to a new one.

That said, thank you all for reading and reviewing and being supportive (and impatient). It means more to me than you'll ever know.

I'll be starting a new story very soon, as soon as I finish the first chapter, I suppose. It will be called Bonne Foi, and it goes a bit like this: _Edward was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. Since, he has fed off human blood, and has every intention to remain doing so – until one night with one frail human girl changes everything._ This will be a darker story, and there will be a lot of sexual situations. Just to forewarn you.

If you'd like to be kept up to date with what I'm writing, just go down to the bottom left of your screen and put me on your author alerts.


	28. EPoV Companion

Hello everyone.

You may remember that some time ago I auctioned off an Only Human outtake for Fandom Gives Back. The winning bidder, squalloogal, requested chapter 20 in Edward's point of view, which I delivered to her back in January.

I decided to hold that outtake back to become a part of the full EPoV, the first chapter of which is now posted. It's called **Anatomy of a Human**. Hope you enjoy it.


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